Altermentality Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Here's the source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3EWAohEDzc Here's the remix. https://dl.dropbox.com/u/12021287/Crooked%20Wings.mp3 Pretty simple, but I like it. Getting it accepted here eventually isn't a priority (nor am I deluded enough to think I'm anywhere close), since I know it's not a stunningly inventive remix or anything, I just want to make it sound as good as possible. I'm still working on training my ear and learning about production. Thanks for your help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dafydd Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Most of the instruments here sound really dull and MIDI-esque. Production is fine, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anorax Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Sounds sorta like Great prognistications. Still insteresting to hear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rukunetsu Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Sounds pretty good man. Simple but effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted September 30, 2010 Author Share Posted September 30, 2010 Whoa, I had taken this for completely-ignored for a while. I'll see what I can do about the quality of the instruments. I tend to get used to a sound and it's only when I go back to a song after not working on it or hearing for a while that I notice hey, that sounds really cheesey. Thanks, guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambient Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Great source. Really bad samples. I would say that the rearrangement factor is not really strong enough for OCR. You could compensate for it with good atmosphere and quality synths, but I don't think there is a single instrument you used in your mix that I liked. Definitely some good ideas, but you need to get MUCH better synths and sample. Sorry if I sound too negative. Great choice of source though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted September 30, 2010 Author Share Posted September 30, 2010 Great source. Really bad samples.I would say that the rearrangement factor is not really strong enough for OCR. You could compensate for it with good atmosphere and quality synths, but I don't think there is a single instrument you used in your mix that I liked. Definitely some good ideas, but you need to get MUCH better synths and sample. Sorry if I sound too negative. Great choice of source though. No, it's ok. I'm totally just starting out and discovering things. And like I said, I don't plan to get this accepted, I'm just learning, and part of that learning process is getting myself some better stuff to work with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted October 1, 2010 Author Share Posted October 1, 2010 I've updated! Have a listen, if you please. I think it sounds significantly better, but please let me know what you all think. It's also going once more by the original name I gave it, Into the Stars. About the choice of source, thanks. I totally love this song, partly because it's just a great song, partly because of its irony. Psycrow is one of my favorite characters since childhood (I'm a messed up little girl...), but he's a badass fierce bird who loves huge guns and throws puppies out of windows, and he gets this totally happy theme. That's Earthworm Jim for you, the game series where Beethoven plays while you navigate your way through intestines filled with pinball bumpers. And even while making a very spacey and relaxing theme I want it to have a very slight zany element. I had to have the crowing in there as a tribute to the character and to the feeling of the source game. And also that MYOWW vocal-ish synth, it seems a bit silly (which is what I wanted) but tell me if you think it throws off the atmosphere. I don't, or I wouldn't have settled on it, but I'm just one little amateur. =P Thanks for your time! Much love! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-Bison Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Hello: Lots of creativity and good progression! things that might help: 1. Tighten your kick. It is too long, flabby, dull and low. (This may mean replacing it with something tighter and punchier) 2. bass: You could use a bigger simple bass line to fill out your low end. !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted October 2, 2010 Author Share Posted October 2, 2010 Thanks, Bison! I added an original bassline and a new subtle sparkly part. Also, I think the kick has improved. Update! I'm starting to be quite happy with this. The track has come a long way since my original upload, that's for sure. But where to go from here? The most frustrating thing now is that the Kore player makes FL run really slowly, and in order to hear anything decently I have to render the full song, which takes like five minutes each time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 The crow sounds are fun. I like how you made a mellower version out of the original. Once the piece gets going the overall sound is quite pleasant, sort of lushy. I also like, at the end, when the bassline drops out, the sound is quite nice. I don't like the sound at the beginning - the bass sound is unimpressive when it's fully exposed, the mechanical repetition of the sample doesn't sound too good when it's exposed like that, though it does work decently later on. Maybe you could start with the palette you have in the outro, and add the bass later on. You also have a less mechanical, sparser bass part around the end of the first third of the song, that could work in the intro too. There's also a couple of spots where the chords are uncomfortably dissonant, in a way that doesn't resolve satisfyingly. It's great that you state your goals in your posting; I think you've done pretty well regarding them! I quite enjoyed the track, I wasn't expecting that based on the intro (or the source!) but it got a lot lot better. Good work! --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted October 2, 2010 Author Share Posted October 2, 2010 The crow sounds are fun. I like how you made a mellower version out of the original. Once the piece gets going the overall sound is quite pleasant, sort of lushy. I also like, at the end, when the bassline drops out, the sound is quite nice.I don't like the sound at the beginning - the bass sound is unimpressive when it's fully exposed, the mechanical repetition of the sample doesn't sound too good when it's exposed like that, though it does work decently later on. Maybe you could start with the palette you have in the outro, and add the bass later on. You also have a less mechanical, sparser bass part around the end of the first third of the song, that could work in the intro too. There's also a couple of spots where the chords are uncomfortably dissonant, in a way that doesn't resolve satisfyingly. It's great that you state your goals in your posting; I think you've done pretty well regarding them! I quite enjoyed the track, I wasn't expecting that based on the intro (or the source!) but it got a lot lot better. Good work! --Eino Thank you very much for your feedback! I guess what I like about the mechanical bassline is it reminds me somewhat of the lower-quality SNES version of this song I grew up with, without being quite so low-quality, but I guess that doesn't matter to anyone else as much as it does me ^^; I will probably not start off the song with it like I'm doing right now though, and try not to leave it alone. Also, glad you like the crows Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skrypnyk Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 No, it's ok. I'm totally just starting out and discovering things. And like I said, I don't plan to get this accepted, I'm just learning, and part of that learning process is getting myself some better stuff to work with. Keep at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 I guess what I like about the mechanical bassline is it reminds me somewhat of the lower-quality SNES version of this song I grew up with, without being quite so low-quality, but I guess that doesn't matter to anyone else as much as it does me ^^; I will probably not start off the song with it like I'm doing right now though, and try not to leave it alone. Yeah, I can see the appeal. There's another way - keeping it for the effect you like, but trying to make it overall sound better. Kind of like some people use SNES-style strings to a great effect. I don't have specific ideas or advice how to achieve that though, but it might be worth (and fun!) looking at. --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted October 11, 2010 Author Share Posted October 11, 2010 New version! Changed the intro, as evktalo suggested. The mechanical bassline is never isolated now. I also made a slight and occasional change in the backing part (well, parts- one is played by a synth, and the other by a kalimba-type thing) that was played by the piano in the source, to add in that little alteration in tune that closes the phrase in the source, but which I hadn't been using before. It's a nice little variation. I also varied up the drum loop in the background. It sounds a lot more interesting with some interruptions in there. Took out the drumline during the pure choral/crows part. Changed the instrumentation a bit in the second half of the song, taking out some synth strings and replacing them with something a bit lighter. This is just getting better all the time, but I'm sure there's still work to do. Amusing how I thought my original upload was quite good, and I didn't know where to go from there. I would greatly appreciate any more listens and suggestions. <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-Bison Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 Changes helped! There are a lot more crows now, which is interesting. Something to help your bass rhythm: Often bass and kick get in the way of each other. Try pulling the 1st note of your bass pattern, and making a few more gaps in the the pattern. It will open it up and make it more funky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuckyXIII Posted October 12, 2010 Share Posted October 12, 2010 LIKE The crow sounds add a nice touch. The mellower feel is indeed appealing, too. I look forward to seeing this featured, soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 Changes helped! There are a lot more crows now, which is interesting. Something to help your bass rhythm: Often bass and kick get in the way of each other. Try pulling the 1st note of your bass pattern, and making a few more gaps in the the pattern. It will open it up and make it more funky. Alright, done! You're right, it sounds- dare I say- FUNN-KY! The funny thing was I hadn't added any more crows, I just cleared up some muck so you could hear them better I actually did add a little bit of crow action for this... New version! However, it's probably not very noticeable, as I don't want to go overboard. They come in on the last two beats of the measure in the later part of the song. So, the changes are *funkier bassline *subtle crow additions *slight change to the kick I'm actually thinking about getting this to a point where I could submit it now. The question is, what does it still need to reach that point? Any new comments? Thanks again, everyone! The improvement in this song since I first posted it is striking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncocs Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Hey, Courtney. I like this one. I can see what you're getting at--crooked wings = crows--it adds an ambience effect to this...whatever genre you consider this. I'm not an amazing crit--most of the time I just compliment the good things--but here I go. The first synth you have playing plays through the entire thing the same way. Try changing synths, or changing actual notes. The drums--I like the beat, not the drum kit. That's just my opinion, and I don't know how to tell ya to change it. This one could get accepted--it still needs something though...But I can't put my finger on it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted October 14, 2010 Author Share Posted October 14, 2010 The first synth you have playing plays through the entire thing the same way. Try changing synths, or changing actual notes. I was just thinking about that last night. I wonder if I could give that backing part to another synth, or a piano (like it is in the source) during the later part of the song. Or I could have it completely sung by crows! ...(joke) Thanks! Now I'm wondering about the title. It's not called Crooked Wings anymore, but it would be nice to have something that evokes the crows after all. Into the Stars is kind of bland, but I think it fits the mood well. Hmm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoratioGiovanni Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Courtney! Hey! Who let you onto this site!? I can't say I'm surprised you turned up here. And as you know with me, I cannot offer you any criticism, as this is already far better than I could do, and I am also a sucker for Earthworm Jim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altermentality Posted January 2, 2011 Author Share Posted January 2, 2011 Okay, so! <3 I am going through and finally updating all my remixes now that I have time. For this new version, I tinkered with the crows a bit, EQ'd everything a tad, and added some new stuff at the end. Tell me what you think, and we can get this show back on the road! http://tindeck.com/listen/gfzb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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