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I need help...


Mirby
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They don't have a couch. They've got a wood stove, a bed, a kitchen area, a baby crib, and a bathroom.

Like I said, it's a <500 sq ft cabin. One story. I think it's actually either 460 or 480 sq ft. That's tiny.

And the problem with me moving down here is that I don't know anyone. Everyone I know is up there.

Take the floor. Find a way to get up there, make some calls to friends up there.

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While you still have internet access, start looking up where the local shelters and such are in your area. Then you'll have a backup plan on where you can go if you can't find a place to stay at immediately. Shelters often provide services to help you get back on your feet. If the services exist, you may as well make use of them. Best of luck.

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Some real douchebaggery in this thread. The man worried about having a roof over his head and when he asks if anyone can help out, people give him shit for it. That's crap. Even if that's what you think of his situation, keep it to your fucking self. Lectures over the internet aren't gonna help him find a place to sleep.

I wish I could help, Mirby, but I'm broke myself and on the wrong side of the country. Best of luck landing on your feet and keep us in the loop with your situation.

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I wasn't trying to lecture him, but since I can't really help out in any way, I'm doing the best I can by giving some solid, helpful advice. He doesn't have to take it, he doesn't have to like it either. I wish I could help out more, I really do. But I don't live in the bay area, and even if he could get to where I am, I have no place for him here.

I really do hope everything works out for the best, empty and meaningless as that sentiment tends to be.

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Well I went to the trans health center near where I lived. And now something is brewing in my favor over in San Francisco. So that was a good call. (as for the was planning, I had to make sure there was a roof over my head before I looked for a job. you know, priorities)

And thanks, NativeJovian. But they were just trying to help.

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Part with your possessions. Lots of them.

Clean yourself.

Organize yourself.

Forget college; if you're as fucked as you say you are spending money you don't have on an education you're neglecting is NEGATIVE PROGRESS. It's still only October, drop all classes immediately before you can't get any money back. Education is as much a personal choice as it is being in the right place at the right time. Don't pay for what you're not going to use.

Find a chef at a local restaurant (a REAL restaurant, not Wild Wings or Burger King) and tell him you want to work in his dish pit for free for a week to prove you'll do whatever it takes to land a job THERE. Then work your ass off, I mean work harder than you've ever worked in you life and endure as much bullshit as they throw at you.

Talk to more chefs than 1 or 2. Do it between 2 and 4pm before the weekend. Don't worry about a resume and don't release more information about your situation than you have to, just that you want to earn enough to live and are stranded.

You may not earn first and last month's rent for a new place... but you can earn enough in 6-weeks to be on your feet again. You can create options for yourself.

If any of this is resonating with you, whether it's scary or not, pm me your phone number and I'll give you my personal cell as well. Things will get better if you are determined to fight for a better situation.

I was in your shoes (though not in a situation QUITE so severe) 5 years ago. It's taken until now to really carve something out for myself but it's possible.

Think survival of the fittest. If you're going to coast, relax, take advantage, sit on your ass and complain I can't help you. You should be eaten. But if you're ready to help yourself, no matter what the cost, then there is hope.

Just my two cents.

Good luck man.

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Well I'd drop my classes if I had any. XD

But things are looking up. I'll see what I can do regarding the restaurant thing; although it was under-the-table, I still have experience as a dishwasher in a highly reputable steakhouse.

Thanks for the advice, man. ^.^

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Well I'd drop my classes if I had any. XD

But things are looking up. I'll see what I can do regarding the restaurant thing; although it was under-the-table, I still have experience as a dishwasher in a highly reputable steakhouse.

Thanks for the advice, man. ^.^

Cool. This is good. In general though, if you need someone to talk to, I'm getting pretty experienced with people in a situation like yours. It's happened to lots of friends of mine as well as myself.

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The best advice I have is this:

You need a goal, and you need to have a backup plan when things don't work out. These are two very important things for anyone trying to start out and live their own life.

Let me break it down:

Goal 1: find a temporary place to stay

Goal 2: get a job, and while you are unemployed, work for your place to stay, cook, clean, help whomever has taken you in, it helps them forget you are leeching off them for a place to stay

Goal 3: save money, but don't forget to help whoever is putting you up... when you're saving, you have to take the losses in this situation, not them, because no matter how unfair it may seem, trusting people in these hard situations to be good and fair usually ends up in bad places... Don't slip up here...

Goal 4: find a more stable environment to live... spend your time when you are not working and not helping around wherever you live, finding a GOOD place to live, something stable, and cheap, and accomodating to wherever you work, and do NOT quit your job before finding something better... ever...

Goal 5: save more money... life necessities come first... food, hygene (to keep your job), and a roof over your head... Things like computers, entertainment and anything else not under those three things are secondary... and there's a LOT of good free entertainment out there...

Goal 6: get to a point where you have enough money for backup so that this never happens again

And remember, there's a balance here... Don't be afraid to ask people that care about you for help, but don't cry wolf either... Don't expect people to give to you without you giving back somehow... Even if you truly need help, I 100% agree with Capa when I say that you have to help yourself too... And sometimes the help you want isn't always the help you need either... "Help" sometimes means admittance of things you don't want to hear, in order to move forward.

But anyway, here's the deal: You have to turn yourself into a robot right now. You can't let your emotions, your fears, your wants get in the way of survival. That's the entire point... You had your chance here with your old roommates, and while you didn't know this was going to happen, you had no backup plan, and now everything has fallen through.

So now you have no idea what you are going to do... That's the lesson here... To survive, especially to live however it is you want to live, away from parents, certain obligations, any kind of abuse, bad living situations, or instability, or even inner turmoil... To survive you need to put everything aside and not just SURVIVE... but THRIVE in circumstances you don't like and cannot control because you are doing it for yourself.

Because the one thing you have control of in life, as far as control really goes, is yourself. The moment you realize that, and I mean REALLY realize that, there goes a huge chunk of your problems, and what life throws at you. Perspective is always HALF the problem... And when you have that down, the other half (the actual problem) is so much easier to tackle when you aren't struggling with your own demons. OMMG DEAMONS

Anyway... Here it is: You live a privileged life... You were born here, and even though it hurts, and life sucks, and you are still subjected to your perception of what you know, with happiness and pain and everything else... Stepping outside of this and really looking at where you are in life... You are privileged, because you have a way out. You have the luxury to ask and get advice and some shape/form of help... There are people that care, and you really have nowhere but up to go from here.

I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying this to prepare you because if you don't realize these things now, you'll end up back at square one, on your ass in some way or another, just like everyone else who doesn't learn this lesson.

You can do it! I mean it!

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As promised, update.

I signed up for one program there. I'm gonna call one of my friends to see if they're in the area, and if so, then I'll have them pick up my excess stuff to take back with them. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to try and convince my Grandpa to come down to pick it up.

I'm gonna check in to a trans shelter tomorrow night at about 9:40 to try getting a bed. Once I'm in there, I should be set to do what needs to be done.

This means I'm gonna have to scrounge around for BART fare. I have 90 cents, but that's not enough. :(

With luck, I should be able to swing it! Wish me luck! ^.^

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