DoubleJoeSeven Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Hey there. Here is a neat little thing I made a few weeks ago. Please tell me what you think of it! ReMix: http://tindeck.com/listen/rjod Source: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rukunetsu Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 This is actually really good DJS. No noticeable issues from this end; although I'm not familiar with the source, given from what I'm hearing I'm sure you've done it justice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJoeSeven Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 Ok, here is an "improved version" of this song. I've worked on some EQ issues (not much to my avail, the bass is still giving me problems) and I added a smallish touch to it, basically just the flute (not pan flute) coming in at an earlier time to give one part more fullness, it was too empty before. v1.1 http://tindeck.com/listen/sgkr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TGH Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 The source is one of my favorites from GSC The piano is kinda weird fading in the left ear, center that at first. Or better yet, individually pan the notes about 10% either way randomly. Then once the flute comes in on the right, pan it back to the left Cries are cool. Try some subtle volume automation on the flute, it sounds sorta mechanical as is. Also lower the volume on it just a little bit. After the intro, there's a clipping issue. Quiet down your tracks. There is some cluttering in the low-mid range EQ, I think the piano is causing most of it with its low notes. Try bringing down the low end of the piano's EQ a bit to free up some space down there for the bass. Not so sure about some instrument choices here, mainly in the respect that your bass and that thin synth that comes in later in the track might not fit in with the orchestral instrumentation. I would consider finding replacements. The arrangement is good, but I think for a track in this style it's too short as a whole. I would add another verse after that flute ends at the end, in order to 'conclude' the track more efficiently. It seems like the flute and piano were building up to something more exciting than....the end of the track. I would also consider adding percussion to make the track more powerful. Taikos and timpanis would sound great I think in the middle of the track in order to drive the more exciting parts a little better. Bottom line, I think this is a great base for a more developed and polished track. I know you can do it though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJoeSeven Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 Ok. ANOTHER update. Horray? I took some things into account from what TGH said. I added a few parts and worked on some more EQ, lowered the volume, fixed (kinda) the piano at the beginning, and changed some instruments around to make them fit with the others. I did not add percussion (other than the bongos, but they are minimal) to the track because...well I don't like percussion to be honest. SO here it is, version 2 (now on Box.net!) Please more constructive criticism, It'd really help a lot! v2.0 http://www.box.net/shared/07olmhjhsy7ndk86ulsu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TGH Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Sounds a lot better. I'll provide a more in-depth comment tomorrow most likely, as it's 1:30 now I can tell you it's a big improvement though, nice job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melbu Frahma Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 The only real issue I can come up with on it is that the pan flute-ish instrument still sounds mechanical (at least at the beginning, for sure). Aside from that, it's really great so far - I love the source and what you've done with it, and look forward to the final product. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJoeSeven Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 Ok. This time I have made a few changes. I've finally fixed the PAN flute at the beginning, so that SHOULD be ok now. I have fixed the clipping at 1:06. I made the ending longer, with a fuller ending. I feel that's all the ending should be, since the height of the song was reached about 45 seconds before. I fixed the "mechanical" sound of the pan flute somewhat and also with the strings. Please, constructive criticism is truly appreciated! It would be awesome if you could provide any. Thanks! v2.1 http://www.box.net/shared/xsmyix01nb02t1ialsam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmightyArceus Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Great piece Joe! A rather interesting take on a well known classic. The blend at 1:01 is rather muddy there, just because of the combination of the highs and lows; I see the effect you're going for there, but maybe bring the bass EQ down just a little bit to add a little bit more clarity. Aside from that the piece comes together very well! It is in fact very very soothing. I especially compliment the piano and pan flute; they are the key elements that truly add a more ambient feel to this arrangement. I've never really heard an artist take this sort of approach to this song. Great job arranging this sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJoeSeven Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 Here is what I did in this version: I added some bongos at the end of the song in the outro. I tried fixing the "muddiness" mentioned by AA in the previous post at 1:06, I hope it worked, it sounds ok to me. I fixed a few small notes here and there. Well, I am content with this version being the "final version". It is varied enough, I have no problem with it's length, and I haven't gotten much criticism on anything else. It will now be "Finished" but constructive criticism would still be greatly appreciated as I will still be working on it for a few days to a week, that is, until I consider it ready for mod review. v2.2 http://www.box.net/shared/n41fkqffxcxvp63cquav Source: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmightyArceus Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Here is what I did in this version:I added some bongos at the end of the song in the outro. I tried fixing the "muddiness" mentioned by AA in the previous post at 1:06, I hope it worked, it sounds ok to me. I fixed a few small notes here and there. Well, I am content with this version being the "final version". It is varied enough, I have no problem with it's length, and I haven't gotten much criticism on anything else. It will now be "Finished" but constructive criticism would still be greatly appreciated as I will still be working on it for a few days to a week, that is, until I consider it ready for mod review. v2.2 http://www.box.net/shared/n41fkqffxcxvp63cquav Source: Much better! No more muddiness there! I think this is definitely ready for a mod review! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJoeSeven Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Gah, screw it, here goes Mod Review. Here are the two links just for making this post a little bit worthwhile, other than for bumping purposes. Remix (v2.2): http://www.box.net/shared/n41fkqffxcxvp63cquav Source: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJoeSeven Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 It's been a while. I'm gonna bump this. Don't shoot me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Okay, first issue I'm noticing here is that the piano, while very well written, is pretty mechanical. It's right in the middle of the spectrum between realistically performed, and treated so that it's not even MEANT to sound realistic. You could either try and ramp up the effects on it and maybe achieve some success getting it to sound super-dreamy, OR you could try and give your velocities and sequencing a complete overhaul in an attempt to get your piano sounding a bit more realistic. I think the latter route, while it would take a lot of work, would yield some great results and make this sound a lot better. The production overall is really wet and causing a lot of muddiness throughout the whole song. Not to discourage you, but if you're looking to pass the panel this will need a major overhaul on the mixing. Tone down on the reverb, and tone down that really high, piercing whistle sound and that should get you started down the right path. I love the feel of this arrangement but the production and sequencing is definitely holding it back. Definitely salvageable but it'll take a lot of hard work if you're up for it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Algamest Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 This is one of my favourite Pokémon tracks ever lol, i love the style you've gone for as well, i guess my only criticism is that it's not 'crisp' enough, i think the reverb is a little OTT, and instruments seem to drown one another out every now and then, but this is good enough that i really hope you'll keep working to get it successfully submitted, and it's making me want to go remix now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Level 99 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Okay, first issue I'm noticing here is that the piano, while very well written, is pretty mechanical. It's right in the middle of the spectrum between realistically performed, and treated so that it's not even MEANT to sound realistic. You could either try and ramp up the effects on it and maybe achieve some success getting it to sound super-dreamy, OR you could try and give your velocities and sequencing a complete overhaul in an attempt to get your piano sounding a bit more realistic. I think the latter route, while it would take a lot of work, would yield some great results and make this sound a lot better.The production overall is really wet and causing a lot of muddiness throughout the whole song. Not to discourage you, but if you're looking to pass the panel this will need a major overhaul on the mixing. Tone down on the reverb, and tone down that really high, piercing whistle sound and that should get you started down the right path. I love the feel of this arrangement but the production and sequencing is definitely holding it back. Definitely salvageable but it'll take a lot of hard work if you're up for it Quoted for truth. I couldn't have said the issues better myself, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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