Beyond your skill level?? What is that nonsense??
What's all that other stuff you wrote around it? That's all solo material!
I don't recall if this was an issue in the previous version, but the section where the bass is the focus (0:54-1:14) gets very thin. I apologize if this is something I missed in the previous version. Having some of it be thin is a good idea for a textural contrast to the rest of the piece, but I would consider bringing in the pad that starts in the section following (1:15-1:54). That thin pad could fill the space that the bass solo section has and then also smooth over into the transition to the next section.
Which brings me to the middle section (1:15-1:54). This is much better! The bells are nice and that low end mud is gone! Good job.
I'm still hearing a lot of sustain/reverb wash in the second half especially when the tubular bells do the descending line (2:25-2:28 for example)
I agree you probably went too far away from the source melody in the second half, but you have the right idea with what you were going for! Use the source melody here and do small embellishments instead of bigger gestures.
Still feel like the bass in the A sections (0:09-0:53 and 1:54-2:47) could be brought out some more.
Taking out the repetition really helped a lot too, it's much more palatable now.
Good improvements.