u stoles me avater u bustard
The original melody starting at 1:28 clashes at 1:40, 1:48, 1:55... and more. Careful about what notes fit with what chords. It fits well, rhythmically and sonically, but needs to be edited to avoid clashing.
The problem with Windmill remixes is that they end up in the same groove as the original, and it's hard to do variations of that. I turned mine into 4/4 for a reason. Yours kind'a hits a point around 0:35 where it stagnates and doesn't really go anywhere, just gets layers of stuff stacked on it. I think you need a different groove to build on if you're gonna keep the mix interesting.
You wouldn't get far with this if you submitted it. Either the rejection letter or a quick trip to the panel for some nice feedback and quick NOs.
You have a decent sound, a nice, consistent sound design, but the writing needs work. I'd hate to hear something like this said about my own work, but I think you'd be best off rewriting it completely. Keep the instruments, but rewrite the song. Sorry to be all negative like this.