Archaon

Truly this sounds like a riveting online experience. I think I'll just continue playing against my friends and being told by the elitists that I suck, thanks.

Well, the character is called "Sophitia!!" and Google won't acknowledge it when you put exclamation marks into the search field. Besides, her SCIV costume is almost as skimpy anyway, and like Ivy she appears to have had some radical breast enlargement surgery since her earlier incarnations. And yeah, no Charade stand-in sucks. When you play as a top-tier, cheapo character, it's kind of a lose-lose situation. If you win, it's "Well shit, you were using <whoever>. No wonder you won." If you lose it's "HAHA YOU WERE USING <whoever> AND I STILL BEAT YOU YOU SUCK" With Charade it's the exact opposite. You never lose. If you get beaten; "Well, you know, I was using Charade. It picked out characters I'm not good with. I was at a disadvantage." If you win; "HAHA I JUST BEAT YOU USING THE RANDOM SELECT CHARACTER IN YOUR FACE BITCH" When I played against anyone else I would always pick Charade. Nothing else is as fun. And now he's gone, the bastards. Thank God Mokujin still lives.

It's like they've intentionally been improving only the graphics and gameplay of the Soul series and making everything else worse. Look at the music as an example. I know I'm not the only one out there who thinks that the soundtrack of the first in the series, Soul Blade (or "Soul Edge", depeneding on where you are) had the best soundtrack by far. I haven't played the game in years and I can still remember the opening song, the character select music and every character's theme, note for note. Hell, the game even had 2 and a half different soundtracks to choose from; you had the original used for arcade machines, the arranged version improved for consoles, and the wholly different "Khan Super Session" one. Tearing it up with Li Long to an assortment of borderline techno, rock and, dare I say it, pop music was a guilty pleasure, true, but it was good so it didn't matter. As an aside, Li Long > Maxi. To hell with Elvis, give me my badass Chinaman back. Anyway, over time, the soundtracks degenerated into boring orchestral waffle, with only a few tracks of note here and there. The only tunes I even care to remember from SCIII's soundtrack are Through Molten Caves and Beyond the Horizon, and the latter is just an arrangement of an SCI track anyway. Forsaken Sanctuary is OK, but damn. Go and listen to Bravely Folk Song (you can probably find it on YouTube or something) and tell me that isn't superior penultimate battle BGM. It's a friggin' pirate shanty. And the endings. Dear god, the endings. In Soul Blade, they had the alternate-ending-on-input thing going on, and it was good. In most cases you got two completely different cutscenes for your trouble. Then they got lazy and started doing endings with just text and pictures. Then SCIII came along and they went back to the original multiple endings idea, except that this time they sucked, and now we just have a host of uniformly disappointing single endings. That might be setting the bar a little high, though. It'd be pretty hard to top young and foolish Siegfried grasping Soul Edge's hilt and then screaming "OH GOD OH GOD AAAGH AAAAAAAARRRRGH" as it clamped down on his hand and corrupted him into the man we now call Nightmare, but who was once simply "Siegfried!" Also, bikini Sophitia = best unlockable content ever. Not necessarily because of the acres of soft, pale, blocky, polygonal skin, but just because it's so incredibly corny, superfluous and (while I hate to say it) typically Japanese that it was awesome. This was your reward for 100 percent-ing the game. This is what bonus material should be. And who the shit is Algol anyway and why should I care? I don't know about anyone else, but I'd have been perfectly happy with another cheap flaming skull monster. I also don't like what they've done with Raphael, turning him from a sort of tragic, misguided character into some genocidal psychovillain who is apparently now a vampire or something. Jesus. Jedi don't make up for this crap.

Not if you're fighting Eddie there isn't!

I've never played an SSB game before. Someone go into layman mode and tell me what's going on in this video and why it is so terrible.

It's interesting to note that the two sources of the complaints that the article references don't seem to have an actual argument to put forth. They've both certainly got their little hats of righteous indignance on, no doubt, (one of them actually featured a photograph of the writer in question (who, surprise surprise, is fat) raising her middle finger with an embittered, defiant pout) but they don't seem to know what to direct this righteous indignance at. It looks like they've just had a kneejerk reaction upon hearing about this game, assumed that it was discriminatory to fat women somehow and then continued to run with that idea after after finding out it wasn't and that they didn't really have anything to complain about. But let's be honest, that's probably what happened. Seriously, take a look. Both articles are just filled with sarcastic ranting that fails to actually explain the terrible message that these games are supposedly sending. "YOU HAVE TO RESCUE A FAT PRINCESS! THAT IS SEXIST AND MISOGYNISTIC!" "How so?" "I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M STILL GOING TO BITCH ABOUT IT."

They're right, though. They should just keep the princess thin, thereby maintaining the status quo that fat people are worthless in games as anything aside from comic relief, and promoting the idea that if a princess were fat, she obviously wouldn't be worth the trouble of rescuing.

There's something very strange going on with my mouse wheel. Quite frequently, whenever I roll it, it seems to register that I've actually pressed the middle button and the left button, so the little circle with the up and down arrows appears and the computer acts as though I've just clicked whatever the cursor's over. Even more bizarre is the fact that if this happens while the cursor's in anything with a "Back" button (such as Firefox or Windows Explorer), the computer seems to think I've clicked the button and responds accordingly. I honestly have no idea what's going on here. I mean, the fact that the computer randomly thinks I've pressed two buttons on the mouse when all I've done is move the wheel could just be attributed to the mouse going wonky, but what would cause it to think I've clicked "Back"? I know you can program the buttons on certain types of mouse to do different things, including certain browser functions, but this is not one of them. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Hey guys. I think I found one he might have actually done by himself. http://youtube.com/watch?v=7L2RBcR2Ycc&feature=related

Massive overabundance of fanservice, by the look of it. Seriously. Two attractive, young, skimpily dressed women in come-hither poses right there as soon as you open the page. And take a look at what you get when you click the "Community" tab. That's sheer desperation. It looks extremely limited, though. Only six classes? And each race is confined to only two to choose from? Some of them are male/female only too, by the look of it. God almighty. Sooner or later, MMORPGs won't even bother including classes. You'll just have a bunch of races to play as that all fit a certain archetype. HAY GUYZ EVERY SINGLE ELF IN THE WORLD IS AN ARCHER. ISN'T THIS FUN.

Seems Neverwinter Nights 2 is due for another expansion later this year. Is anyone else looking forward to it? The NWN2 official campaign was, admittedly, pretty "bleh". Then came Mask of the Betrayer, which was a big improvement campaign-wise in addition to adding a hefty dollop of new content to play with. I'd like to think this shows that the developers have been learning from their mistakes and taking criticism on board. If they manage to achieve the same jump in quality with the next expansion, Storm of Zehir should fall anywhere between "Very Good" and "Orgasmic Mana from the Heavens." My enthusiasm is cautious, however. They have been promising that this would be something of a "return to roots", as it were, with less focus on endless hack and slashery and more on storytelling, character development and general depth, which would be great if it happened. Game developers are notorious for failing to live up to their claims, however, so I suppose we'll have to wait and see. If nothing else, though, it still means even more content and bugfixes, which can only be a good thing. Hopefully they can actually introduce a toolset that doesn't crash every five minutes.

About half the cast of Street Fighter and Final Fantasy 7, three Solid Snakes, four characters from a fairly obscure fighting game about schoolkids kicking the shit out of each other (which was actually pretty good for its time; it's called Rival Schools. Check it out.) but not a single Mortal Kombat character. Not one. How can you have such a huge variety of video game mascots including ones that frankly stretch the "video game" category, (Hulk? Spiderman? They've been in video games, sure, but you wouldn't really call them "video game characters", would you?) non-descript vehicles and ROBERTO MOTHERFUCKING MIURA, yet not include the likes of Sub-Zero and Scorpion? That's a travesty. You should be ashamed.

Well hell. Look, nobody goes into the Projects forum and this is an old thread. Really old. I mean, this was before Arek and 25% of the forum turned into Stan. It was before STAN turned into Stan. The point is SHUT UP.

A big yellow blob with a face at the top A car A chocobo Aeris Akira Kazama Akuma Alex Kidd A spaceship(?) Barret Batsu Blank space? Blaze the Cat Bomberman Bonus-Kun Bowser Cammy Captain Falcon Celda Chun-Li Cid Highwind Cloud Crono Crono again Cyclops who apparently has just been stabbed in the eyes or something Dan Hibiki Dante Deku Link Dhalsim Diddy Kong Donkey Kong Dracula Dr. Wily Earthworm Jim Eddie/Zato-1 Edge Fox Frog Gambit Ganondorf Gen Geno Guile Guy Hammer Bro Heather Heihachi Mishima Hsein-Ko Hulk I-no Iori Jago Jedah Dohma (what a badass) Jin Kazama Jon Talbain Karin Kanzuki Ken Kirby Kraid Lady Lakitu Lara Croft Lemming Leon Belmont Lilith Link Lord Raptor Lucca Luigi M. Bison Magus Mai Shiranui Mario Mario again Megaman Megaman X Megaman X again Metroid Mog Morrigan & Lilith engaged in incest lesbian action Ness Nina Williams Pac-Man Peach Peach again Prince of All Cosmos Princess Ruto Red XIII Ridley Rikku Roberto Miura Robo Robotnik. THAT'S RIGHT, ROBOTNIK I SAID ROBOTNIK NOT EGGMAN. Roll Rose Ryu Ryu Hayabusa Sagat Sakura Samus Aran Samus Again (see what I did there) Saria Sephiroth Serge Servbots Snake SNAKE SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE Sol Badguy Some girl with auburn hair, snazzy trousers and something that kind of looks like a pistol Some girl with blonde hair and a simple, black dress. High heels. Looks a bit melancholy. Some girl with blonde hair and leather boots up to her thighs who looks like she's daydreaming or something Some girl with grey/beige hair, red/black clothes and something that looks like a cross between a french horn and an anime manga future gun in her hand Some girl with long black hair that tapers to a point kind of like Jessie of Team Rocket Some girl with pink hair and q-shaped blade things Some girl with pink pigtails and orange clothes Some guy dressed in beige/grey. Long coat. Pretty cool outfit that I would not mind owning. Has one hand covering his face. Some guy (girl?) with red hair, armour and a curvy sword. Also has a helmet tucked under right arm. Some guy (girl?) with red hair and a long, white coat. Hands resting on sword that itself rests on the ground. From Tactics Ogre, I think. Some guy with blond hair holding a katana and pointing. Cocky expression. Some guy with grey hair holding up a sword and what I think is a sake jug. Blue, white and deep green clothes. Some guy with long blue hair. Katana on hip. Kneeling/sitting. Some guy with neon green body armour and camo green everything else. Wears a helmet that reminds me of a Rodian. Some ninja girl with pink clothes and a kunai Some old guy with glasses and purple clothing and the most camp, effeminate, limp-wristed, nancy-boy pose that may ever exist. I think he's called Norimaru or something. Some scary dude with samurai armour with a demonic face on it holding a rather flimsy sword that really doesn't fit with the whole theme. Some white furry dragon thing Sonic the Hedgehog Sora Spider-man Squall Leonheart Strider Hiryu Terra Terry Bogard That one guy from Jet Set Radio. The Metal Slug tank The Turks & Rufus Tidus Tifa Lockheart Tira Toad Toejam & Earl Vega Venom Viewtiful Joe Vincent Valentine Vivi Voldo Wario Yang Yoshi Yuna Zelda HUNT DOWN THE OMITTED ONES. FINISH THE MASCOTDEX.

Few tips here that might improve your playing performance: - Assuming you're using the mouse, move your arm and not your wrist. The game is a lot more receptive if the mouse is moved in a perfectly straight line. I've found that, quite often, the slight curve introduced by moving the mouse from left to right with your wrist alone causes the ship to "grind", which can really screw you over when you need to make a split-second sweep from the far left to the far right. - Turn down the graphics. Yes, I know the game is very pretty on the Premium setting, but unless you're on a really good computer it's probably going to strain it a bit, and even the slightest instant of slowdown can mean the difference between a 30% bonus at the end of the track and nothing. This, of course, doesn't apply if you're just playing more for the experience rather than for getting a high score. - The eye tends to take notice of the blocks only once they get within a certain distance. You need to try to overcome this and look ahead as well as directly in front of you, because if you don't then you'll end up getting overwhelmed by a sudden onslaught of blocks that you weren't expecting. Reflexes can only take you so far. Those worked for me, anyway. I'm not sucking quite so badly now!

So. Come on. You've probably all bought it or obtained it through illicit means by now. That means we need a thread to post about crappy video game music that we think creates good tracks. Or just crappy real music if you prefer. I'm game. Ice Cap is pretty hectic. As in the original Ice Cap from the game, not one of the thousand remixes of it. It's not that fast. but there are GREY BLOCKS EVERYWHERE. I mean, if you're playing as Ninja Mono there are grey blocks everywhere. If you're one of those mutant freaks with the superhuman mental coordination you need to use one of the other elite characters effectively then I suppose there would not be. It seems to me that when a track has a lot of steep dips it tends to be more forgiving with the number of blocks, because it's a lot harder to see them coming. Supporters?

Well, apparently the motherboard isn't the problem, or at least it isn't the *only* problem, as the PC was tested today with a shiny new one and it still didn't work; no beep, no nothing. There were also a couple of baked capacitors on my graphics card, but replacing that didn't seem to solve the problem either. All the fans are working as they should, although there was a lot of dust in them. Removing the RAM from the computer resulted in beeping of some description, but it repeated for as long as the computer was on, which obviously isn't supposed to happen.

All I really need to do is determine if the problem is software or hardware-related. If it's the latter then I'll just have to get someone to look at it, because I don't know a damn thing about the hardware side of computers. I also don't want to spend hours frustrating the hell out of myself trying for a reformat if it's not going to help. There's a lot of stuff on there that, while not absolutely vitally important, I'd rather not release to the data afterlife without good reason. (I also forgot to mention that I ran Chkdsk a couple of times. It didn't turn anything up.)

A few days ago my computer rebooted itself without warning. I have no idea what caused this. It could have been a power blink, software blip, anything. About five, maybe ten minutes after Windows had restarted and I logged in again, the computer froze. Mouse wouldn't move, keyboard commands did nothing, and it eventually began emitting a constant beep through the system speaker. I had to switch it off at the mains. I suspected overheating, so I switched the computer off for a couple of hours and opened the window to let the room cool down. However, soon after I switched it back on, the same thing happened. Following that it continued to freeze up regularly, and when it hadn't actually crashed it was running slowly, taking much more time than usual to start up. I tried to load in safe mode twice. The first time was successful, although it took a VERY long time. The second time, the computer froze. Following that I tried to run a system restore, but to no avail. The progress bar got 90% of the way there and then stopped for an entire night. From there it ran smoothly for about a day, and I thought the problem had fixed itself. When I returned after an evening out, however, it had frozen again. The mouse cursor would move, but that was it; nothing else was responding. After that I deleted a hefty chunk of files from my hard drive (which was 96% full) and tried defragmenting, leaving it to complete this task overnight. The next morning, the same thing had happened, only this time the monitor had gone idle, which it is set to do after a couple of hours of inactivity. No amount of key-tapping or mouse-dragging would get it to respond again. I also noticed that this time, when I started the computer again, it didn't sound the same. Usually I would hear the fan whirring briefly, then it'd stop for a split second, then start up again along with a beep. This time there was no stop; the whirr was constant, and I also heard no beep. And so here we are at the present day. There is obviously something wrong with my computer, but I can't work out what it is, because the monitor claims it isn't getting a signal (and I've tried with two different monitors). I've tried to use a system recovery disk, but because the computer isn't talking to the monitor I can't see what I'm supposed to be doing, or even if it's working at all. Any suggestions?

YOU HAVE ANGERED SCOTT RAMSOOMAIR SHUT UP STEBEN I DO NOT READ PVP AND VGCATS UPDATES LIKE TWICE A YEAR AND AS SUCH I DO NOT GO THERE OFTEN ENOUGH TO REMEMBER THESE THINGS

It's working for me. Obviously you have ANGERED SCOTT KURTZ or something.

A female judge. What is this website coming to?

...what, Captain Falcon?

1. NINTENDO IS DOING A BETTER JOB THAN SONY AND WE DONT LIKE IT AND HOW DARE THEY STEAL FROM ONE OF OUR BELOVED GAMES BITCH PISS WHINE MOAN. or 2. Snake is too dark and gritty a character to be in a Nintendo game what is going on he uses guns and stuff. I'm guessing. A failure to understand that in games like this, the more random characters you can pack into it the more fun it's going to be. I'm kind of hoping that since they apparently have Konami on their side they'll throw in James Sunderland and Pyramid Head as unlockables just to spite the people throwing out reason 2.

fixed lolsz