WolfODonnel486 Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Hey OCR forum members, I got this old mix I did long ago of the Jolly Roger Bay/Dire Dire Docks song from Super Mario 64. Kinda downtempo/chill/ambient kinda thing, because I just love this kind of music, stuff you can put on and practically forget you're listening to because it's so peaceful. http://wolfodonnel486.googlepages.com/SM64-ChoirDocks.mp3 I made it, what, almost two years ago to the day, but never got around to posting it anywhere beyond my own site. If you guys have any suggestions to how I could improve it, possibly even make it OCR-worthy, let me know and I'll see what i can do to improve it! If anyone wants to work on it themselves, I made it in Reason 3.0, and I'm more than willing to share the RSN and turn this into a collaboration piece! The name is also horribly cheesy in my opinion, my naming skills are about as great as my music-making skills, so if anyone can think of anything better, please throw me a bone, and lemme know what you think it should be named. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Azure Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Well, I'm still listening to it as I type this, so I might have to follow up with a few edits later on. Also, I don't claim to be knowledgeable or anything, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Here's what I have so far on the first listen: 0:02: The start of the sound feels a little abrupt. I'd love a fade-in. It might just be that you haven't gone through with later production work, though, I dunno. 3:05: With the syncopated lead notes there... I'd suggest adding more to fill the space since it's a slow song. Echoing (especially if you put the original voice on left channel and the echo on right channel, or vice versa) is one way to go. I'd also be a fan of downward arpeggios there (e.g., in sixteenth notes, F-C-A-F F-C-A-F etc., G-D-Bb-G G-D-Bb-G etc., G-D-Bb-G A-F#-D-A at the end [or G-F#-D-A to make things interesting]. I don't guarantee that the notes or chords are right: I just kind of wrote that off the top of my head). General: - Consider varying the rhythm of the melody voice once in a while... I know you wanted the work to be a set-and-forget kind of piece such that you hardly even notice it while it's playing, but at some point it gets repetitive and/or boring, especially when people are trying to listen to it for feedback. >_> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JH Sounds Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 ...and some possible names, off the top of my head. Reflective Depth The Dock Night Decadent Dive Bay Cascade Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsolinearMoogle Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I like this very much. It's definitely got this ambient vibe to it... so much so that it was actually kind of hard to actively listen to it. I think Azure's comments are right on. I would like to add that I think a tiered introduction would be great... this may be what Azure was thinking of when they said "fade-in", but I think change in instrumentation rather than volume will win here. For example, start out with just some string chords, then throw in a harmony voice, then a melody, etc. I would love to see the ascending arpeggios highlighted more, as well. I seem to remember in SM64 there were parts of the level where the chords dropped away entirely and you were just left with these arpeggios. I wouldn't necessarily say do that exactly, but I would like to hear that particular voice a little better (i.e. louder) — at times it was very lost under everything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Azure Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I would like to add that I think a tiered introduction would be great... this may be what Azure was thinking of when they said "fade-in", but I think change in instrumentation rather than volume will win here. Sorry, I wasn't very clear... I guess I was thinking, volume would be the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM you'd want to add to it. Tiered introductions would be a good next step, too. In my defense I wrote that post while still listening. So yeah, my mind wasn't quite all there, sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windkirby Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Not bad, but I think it gets very repetitive at about halfway through. I think you might want to give the synth chords a break for one or two periods throughout the song. I also felt like the slow tempo was hurting the "listen to me" factor - I would suggest adding in some more interpretation as well as percussion, or at least something percussion. It doesn't have too be hard-hitting, but I felt it was distinctly lacking in the percussive realm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glasfen Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I would suggest adding in some more interpretation as well as percussion, or at least something percussion. It doesn't have too be hard-hitting, but I felt it was distinctly lacking in the percussive realm. Agreed. In line with IsolinearMoogle's thinking, there are parts of the level where percussion enters. If you could fade in something catchy but relaxed and fade it out later, I think you'd keep the listener's interest subconsciously, and they would come away from the song thinking, "Wow, that was really chill but it had a great beat too." ...Something like that anyway. I really like the improvisation around 3:13. That is what is missing from the rest of the mix. You could throw more variation in, sparingly, to break any monotony. This is very nice, and not just because it's one of my favorite tracks from the game. Great work. Update? Names: Aquavescence Hydrosonic Therapy Dreams in Blue (too bad submarine dream is already taken) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsolinearMoogle Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Sorry, I wasn't very clear... I guess I was thinking, volume would be the ABSOLUTE MINIMUM you'd want to add to it. Tiered introductions would be a good next step, too.In my defense I wrote that post while still listening. So yeah, my mind wasn't quite all there, sorry. I had a feeling you meant that, I just wanted to clarify my own thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaelitioN Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 I'd hear some chromatic-percussion-tine-toy piano-type layer on top of the main melody line , perhaps filter delayed an octave higher , lends itself to something like a very lullaby-ish , relaxing floating atmosphere. Some ambient percussion would work alot to keep attention , something light , reverbed , with maybe automated panning around the stereo field (these are just things I think would fit but it's your direction/discretion) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MechaFone Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 I'd kinda go with Space Docks or something like that, since the synths remind me a little bit of Space Lion from Cowboy Bebop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glasfen Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 I'd kinda go with Space Docks or something like that, since the synths remind me a little bit of Space Lion from Cowboy Bebop. Yeah, okay, I can hear that. Excellent suggestion! I second. It is quite ethereal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Ascher-Weiss Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 I think Choir Docks is a pretty awesome name personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Damned Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 I think Choir Docks is a pretty awesome name personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JH Sounds Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 I think Choir Docks is a pretty awesome name personally. Wow, I didn't even geddit until now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHands Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 I like the ambient feel for it. I'd soften the synth in the background though, the one that's showing the main chord changes. Could just be my speakers, but it hits a little harder than the rest of the instruments and is somewhat distracting. This is a cool piece, I like it so far. Floating Docks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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