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Phoned-in game endings [SPOILERS ABOUND]


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Metal Gear Solid 4.

God. Fucking. Dammit.

SEE! Big Boss talk to Solid Snake for the first time since Snake KILLED HIS ASS. What do they talk about? They reiterate the entire plot! In case you somehow missed it while you WERE PLAYING THE GODDAMN GAME. SEE! Twenty minutes of two old men in the park talking about things you already know!

SEE! Revolver Ocelot make the big reveal that he was never possessed by Liquid at all! He was just PRETENDING. SEE! The revelation that one of the most stupid plot devices in video game history is, in fact, a stupid plot device! But it's all part of the Patriots plot! Ooooo....

SEE! Meryl, one of the strongest female personas in the game, admit that all she's ever wanted out of life is marriage! SEE! Her amazingly intelligent choice to marry a man who has spent the game LITERALLY SHITTING HIMSELF. SEE! Johnny awkwardly propose in between killing endlessly spawning guys!

SEE! A black man talk to his monkey!

SEE! Sunny finally makes eggs!

That ending sucks.

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Metal Gear Solid 4.

God. Fucking. Dammit.

SEE! Big Boss talk to Solid Snake for the first time since Snake KILLED HIS ASS. What do they talk about? They reiterate the entire plot! In case you somehow missed it while you WERE PLAYING THE GODDAMN GAME. SEE! Twenty minutes of two old men in the park talking about things you already know!

SEE! Revolver Ocelot make the big reveal that he was never possessed by Liquid at all! He was just PRETENDING. SEE! The revelation that one of the most stupid plot devices in video game history is, in fact, a stupid plot device! But it's all part of the Patriots plot! Ooooo....

SEE! Meryl, one of the strongest female personas in the game, admit that all she's ever wanted out of life is marriage! SEE! Her amazingly intelligent choice to marry a man who has spent the game LITERALLY SHITTING HIMSELF. SEE! Johnny awkwardly propose in between killing endlessly spawning guys!

SEE! A black man talk to his monkey!

SEE! Sunny finally makes eggs!

That ending sucks.

quit bitching that game was awesome and so was the ending

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I think the only ending that comes to mind for me is the ending of Sonic Chronicles. It was the most horrible mix of lazy assed and cliff hanger ever.

It made me mad, most likely because more than halfway through the game I was only playing to get the story done with than anything else, the gameplay sucked. But nooo I don't even get a satisfied ending. Just "The End?" Sonic, And Tails making fun of the lack of an actual end and utter lack of explanation for what has been going on.

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Chrono Cross has the king of all lame endings, wherein if you kill the final boss the normal, non-song-related way, you are treated to a grayscale girl wandering around grayscale tokyo while the credits roll... And that's it. Other endings are serviceable but ultimately depressing or unsatisfying.

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Well, the 'real' ending was alright, I thought... A little on the monologue-y side, but I thought at the least things were wrapped up nicely.

But hey, if you don't arbitrarily fight the last boss in this specific order of attacks, then fuck you here's your shit ending.

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Bram Stoker's Dracula (SNES & Sega Genesis) had a terribly bad ending when beat on Hard Mode, since it was the same ending that get on the other modes minus the animation of the castle collapsing.

That was one hard game and to be given the same

as the training mode. That's a cop-out.
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Never played it, but Ghostbusters for the NES.

http://sydlexia.com/imagesandstuff/nes_quotes_you_should_know/ghostbusters_end.png

If you're gonna do a one-screen pile-o-poop ending, at least make it legible.

you can see that screen in the Fire House in the last game on ps3. likely the other console versions as well I assume

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I know its controversial amongst Halo fans, but I've never seen or played to the end of Halo 2's ending. One friend told me it's awesome and that it sets everything up for Halo 3; the other told me that it's preachy and corny as all hell.

Thoughts?

No, it's not awesome.

It is the DEFINITION of phoned-in.

You know how Pirates of the Caribbean 2 ended on that really stupid cliff-hanger, meant ONLY to serve as a bridge to Pirates 3? halo 2's ending is like that.

The ending just.. happens.

After you beat that one ape dude (who's pretty tough), you're like, "Ok, Arbiter's story is done. Let's get back to Master Chief!"

Then it shows Master Chief in space, and he says something like "Don't worry guys... I'm coming home to finish the fight" or something like that.

So you're thinking "All right, MC! Let's do this! I can't wait to kick so-"

THE END

It (the game AND the ending) was short, felt rushed, and dammit it sure as hell was phoned-in.

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you can see that screen in the Fire House in the last game on ps3. likely the other console versions as well I assume

Oh man. Now why would anyone nostalgia that?

No, it's not awesome.

It is the DEFINITION of phoned-in.

...

So you're thinking "All right, MC! Let's do this! I can't wait to kick so-"

THE END

If it ended like that (i.e: Master Chief says 'are you ready? Then let's kick so-' and then THE END appeared just like that, it would kick infinities of asses.

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Braid

The gameplay was awesome but wth was up with the story. It was just a bunch of cryptic rhetoric with no attachment to what was happening. I was hoping the ending would at least reveal if the princess was real or wtf was going but no it just ends.

Assassin's Creed

The first one just ended with no warning whatsoever and a bunch of crap on the wall. The second one did something similar but with extra aliens as if that would satisfy anyone. Balls crazy.

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Braid

The gameplay was awesome but wth was up with the story. It was just a bunch of cryptic rhetoric with no attachment to what was happening. I was hoping the ending would at least reveal if the princess was real or wtf was going but no it just ends.

Assassin's Creed

SPOILER ALERT posted again because these are fairly recent games. Highlight my Braid paragraph to see it all.

The first one just ended with no warning whatsoever and a bunch of crap on the wall. The second one did something similar but with extra aliens as if that would satisfy anyone. Balls crazy.

I thought that Braid's story was awesome -- you are the villain not the hero, but you're so obsessed with this girl that you don't realize it. If you're talking about the alternative ending with all the stars, I have heard that it was included as a warning against being obsessed...but I don't know if I buy into that as much.

Totally agreed about AC though...except that the final statement from the "alien" is sweet and makes me want to know what happens in AC3 really bad. :P

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Braid

The gameplay was awesome but wth was up with the story. It was just a bunch of cryptic rhetoric with no attachment to what was happening. I was hoping the ending would at least reveal if the princess was real or wtf was going but no it just ends.

fuck braid's ending, it was super pretentious and didn't adequately explain anything. i don't need stuff spelled out for me, but almost everything about the ending has to be implied or assumed for it to make any sense. lame.

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fuck braid's ending, it was super pretentious and didn't adequately explain anything. i don't need stuff spelled out for me, but almost everything about the ending has to be implied or assumed for it to make any sense. lame.

I do agree that they could have done a better job of explaining what they were getting at, but I liked that they framed it around the invention of the nuclear bomb. (The quote in part of the ending "Now we're all sons of bitches" is supposed to be a clue I guess.) The stars, and what happens when you reach the princess are supposed to be the result of achieving what the character was aiming for in the first place.

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Though personally I think Braid thought a bit TOO highly of itself.

Though I don't wanna start a flame war about a dead topic, I think Roger Ebert didn't hit too far off the mark when he called Braid's story "an overly prosaic fortune cookie."

This is to say nothing about Braid the game. But Braid's story is what I feel happens when a studio gets the whole "INDIE" idea into its head a little TOO much.

@Sir Snooze:

You know what, you're right. That version would have been incredibly badass.

Too bad what we got was a shitty cliffhanger.

-------

Again, not REALLY a phoned-in ending, but Order of Ecclesia's "And you left, and people forgot everything of your accomplishments" shtick... Really, I really hate when game stories do that. I want SOME acknowledgment that I went and beat a fairly difficult game and brought things to a fairly good resolution.

Not "Good job, but it didn't really matter."

I get enough of that in real life, geez!

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That entire game was a mistake. I do not recognize its existence.

You're supposed to make sequels for stories that need more explaining or ended openly. FFX ended completely and decisively. And if you insist on still making a new story for the characters, don't shit on them while you do it. Yuna was a summoner not a friggin pop star, wtf was that?

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That entire game was a mistake. I do not recognize its existence.

You're supposed to make sequels for stories that need more explaining or ended openly. FFX ended completely and decisively. And if you insist on still making a new story for the characters, don't shit on them while you do it. Yuna was a summoner not a friggin pop star, wtf was that?

seriously its like the exact opposite. she's supposed to get killed as everyone ignores the atrocity not be popular

It's the personal belief of several of my older friends that Square has not made a good game since its merge with Enix.

your friends are fickle

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