Things Video Games Have Taught Us

[Gario]

In virtually any world involved with both guns AND swords, swords are always superior.

Always.

Despite common belief, Arthur does not have anything to do with the Excalibur. It always just seems to be... there. It is also always the second strongest sword in existence, if it exists (some random, cliche sword that doesn't seem to have any significance seems to be the strongest, like a 'Crystal Sword' or an 'Ultima Sword' or some shit).

[MisterBiggler]

Rather than aiming and firing from a well concealed spot, the best way to use a sniper rifle is to aim and fire whilst jumping up and down, or moving side to side or back and forth in a wide open area with no cover.

(halo, counter-strike, various FPSs)

[Claado Shou]

Waving the feather of a mythological creature over your body will return you to life...unless your death helps aggravate a severe mental breakdown of the main character. (Final Fantasy VII)

Regardless of how rare and unexpected your presence on a planet/ship is, even of an alien race with which you are at war, there will always be items and computer networks specifically designed to suit your need to power-up and save. (Metroid series)

Mutes make the best heroes. (Metroid series, Legend of Zelda series, Chrono Trigger, etc.)

Objects that appear as if they are not part of the background are subject to the Law of Inexplicable Motion when in close proximity to the main character. (almost every game ever)

Don't be fooled by that cliff with a ten-foot dropoff...despite surviving countless bullet wounds with no medical assistance, a short fall can kill you. (Uncharted: Drake's Fortune)

Teenage girls in pink dresses are very, very deadly. (Phantasy Star)

~.C.S.~

[Ferret]

Man, there could be a whole TV Tropes page for this stuff.

[Nabeel Ansari]

You can backstab someone, feign death and become invisible, and run to safety.

Repeat.

[Salluz]

Man, there could be a whole TV Tropes page for this stuff.

It's a thought. It's not patented.

[The Coop]

That no matter how big the threat is that looms over the kingdom/land/world, that cheap fucker the King won't give you more than barely enough to get the shittiest weapons and armor before sending you on your way.

[Jedi QuestMaster]

Speaking of The King, he's one rich mofo & will keep giving you money if you keep running out.

[Esker]

Every game borrowed should be returned in a week or two.

[Gario]

Piaget's Object Permanence is a lie. If you can't see something anymore, it truly falls out of this plane of existence. (Sidescrollers)

I guess we really understand the reality of things better as babies, after all.

[LuckyXIII]

I've already listed this one and other similar statements with a blanket phrase.

And you should write this out as "furniture explodes when shot."

"shooting furniture explodes" sounds like something Metal Gear (NES) taught me:

The state of being asleep is actually an emotion.

[Dissidia]

Fat queens aren't easily impressed by two men fencing to flamenco music.

[Jedi QuestMaster]

Hitler is a 7-foot tall badass & is allowed to swear on NES...

before he unleashes a doomsday "big bird," tries to escape in a helicopter, & his head explods

[Flying_V_Goddess]

Empires are bad. Kingdoms are good.

[Gario]

All monsters have deep pockets - deep enough to hold random shit that's only useful to the player, like potions, gold/gil/GP, weapons crafted specifically for the player, etc.

Either pockets, or they stuff them into some orifice on their bodies (which the players diligently search after every single kill they make).

Also, running away is an expensive feat - often costing up to 5% of your wealth. That's like tithing every time you want to avoid a conflict. It's generally a flat tax, too, so you lose no matter what, rich or poor.