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Things Video Games Have Taught Us


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In virtually any world involved with both guns AND swords, swords are always superior.


Despite common belief, Arthur does not have anything to do with the Excalibur. It always just seems to be... there. It is also always the second strongest sword in existence, if it exists (some random, cliche sword that doesn't seem to have any significance seems to be the strongest, like a 'Crystal Sword' or an 'Ultima Sword' or some shit).

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Waving the feather of a mythological creature over your body will return you to life...unless your death helps aggravate a severe mental breakdown of the main character. (Final Fantasy VII)

Regardless of how rare and unexpected your presence on a planet/ship is, even of an alien race with which you are at war, there will always be items and computer networks specifically designed to suit your need to power-up and save. (Metroid series)

Mutes make the best heroes. (Metroid series, Legend of Zelda series, Chrono Trigger, etc.)

Objects that appear as if they are not part of the background are subject to the Law of Inexplicable Motion when in close proximity to the main character. (almost every game ever)

Don't be fooled by that cliff with a ten-foot dropoff...despite surviving countless bullet wounds with no medical assistance, a short fall can kill you. (Uncharted: Drake's Fortune)

Teenage girls in pink dresses are very, very deadly. (Phantasy Star)


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All monsters have deep pockets - deep enough to hold random shit that's only useful to the player, like potions, gold/gil/GP, weapons crafted specifically for the player, etc.

Either pockets, or they stuff them into some orifice on their bodies (which the players diligently search after every single kill they make).

Also, running away is an expensive feat - often costing up to 5% of your wealth. That's like tithing every time you want to avoid a conflict. It's generally a flat tax, too, so you lose no matter what, rich or poor.

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