I need help...

[Mirby]

So I was kicked out by my roommates earlier tonight. They're letting me stay just a little longer to get my shit together, but I no longer really live here.

What happened in a nutshell was this.

I was confronted about not having my share of the rent.

I said I was sorry and that I was screwed and that if they wanted me to, I'd pack all my shit that instant and leave.

They yelled at me. Pointed out that I never do anything, that I blew off the FAFSA, blew off college, blew off that crappy job I had (I got fired from that one, not my fault) and that they had to push me to apply for food stamps (not true, did on my own), to apply for jobs (once or twice), to do everything. And then I freaked out.

Went catatonic for about 20-30 minutes. Took 20-30 minutes after that to recover fully enough to actually function at a somewhat normal pace. I could be wrong about the times, but when you can't move and are locked in your own mind, time is irrelevant. And then I spoke threw tears and choking, saying all kinds of stuff I never thought I'd say.

And then I was told to find another place to live.

So, to make a long story short, I need a place to stay. If any of the Bay Area OCR peeps here wouldn't mind sparing a couch or even floor space so I wouldn't have to sleep in the streets, I'd appreciate it. Bonus if you're in Alameda County, even more if you're in the Tri-City Area. All I ask is that you please help me out. I'll do whatever needs to be done to make up for room and/or board, as long as I'm not out in the elements.

I'll try not to overstay my welcome, if you do choose to help. But please, help me out. That's all I ask. Please.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, everyone.

[Tensei]

Uh, wow...

The way this is written makes me honestly doubt that anyone would want to put up with you.

Nonetheless, I wish you good luck in your endeavours.

[Chris ~ Amaterasu]

Sounds tough Mirby,

I hope things brighten up and you can find a nice place to stay!

[Schwaltzvald]

Not the best answer but...

http://vimeo.com/2495675

also if that's not possible for ya there is this.

http://www.0yenhouse.com/en/A_Solar_Zero_Yen_House/

Gather what you can and do your best.

[BardicKnowledge]

Have you apologized to your roommates since blowing up at them? You might be surprised how far a little good will / maturity on your part will go.

Hope you figure things out soon.

[Ashamee]

I just did a bit of research and found some info for you near where you used to live that I think can help you. Send me a message or find me on IRC and I'll fill you in.

[Nick Hyral]

Have you apologized to your roommates since blowing up at them? You might be surprised how far a little good will / maturity on your part will go.

Hope you figure things out soon.

I agree with this. If you haven't already try sitting down and talking to them, if you can get them to atleast give you a bit more time you could redouble your efforts to get things straightened out to show them you're going the extra mile to get things down. It saddens me to read that such a thing is happening to you. Really hoping things work out for the better.

[Capa Langley]

Help yourself before you can expect help from others. You may think I'm being mean but I'm not.

First of all, fix yourself. Constantly putting yourself down in a manner of begging isn't going to help your cause. If you can't place your own self on a path then nobody will be able to carry you the rest of the way. With your attitude you're not going to get anywhere. You've practically given up and you're showing that to the world. Charity cases are not something anyone can do, or want to do. People have their own issues. That is why organizations often put celebrities in game shows to raise awareness as well as funds. That is why Bill Gates couldn't care less about people in your situation.

What I can give is perfect for you. I am currently writing a short story about a homeless person who is happy despite all he sees around him. Why is he happy? Because he's alive. He doesn't beg. He doesn't show others that he's fallen into a dark alley with no exits. If he can help himself than the ones who are nice enough to give a hand will do so. He understands his situation. He's not going to say he doesn't need money or help. Of course he does. But, he isn't going to show he does either. Acting little to get big. That's what you're missing. You're just flat out asking for the whole ten yards.

I've told you before while you still wanted to go to the Vegas meet-up. I would help you only if you helped yourself halfway. Nobody likes a leech. Even the best of friends. You're the type that would order takeout for a class project while I do all the work writing. What about your parents? If they're showing that even they won't help, can you honestly expect it from strangers?

Then ask yourself: Why are you doing this? You need a motivation. Find one. Even as little as to just get some can of soda.

[-Dan]

CapaLangley wrote everything I was thinking.

I stress what he said. Where are your relatives?

And what have you done to overcome this situation?

[Arcana]

So what's your situation now, do you have a certain amount of time to get out of your place, or are you already out now and jumping from couch to couch in the meantime?

[Mirby]

@Bardic: The fact that one of my roommates is an unstable bitch prevents me from even getting through to her in any way.

I did apologize, profusely, after going catatonic. And then they kicked me out.

@Arcana: I've got some time. A day, two, maybe 3.

@-Dan: I can't get a hold of my uncle, my sister can't help me out, my mom has no room, my brother is too busy doing.. whatever it is he's doing. So my relatives are no help.

As for what I've done, I've put the word out that I'm could use some help. Maybe not the best wording in it, but I'm not really the most eloquent person when it comes to asking for help.

[Arek the Absolute]

What happened in a nutshell was this.

I was confronted about not having my share of the rent.

I said I was sorry and that I was screwed and that if they wanted me to, I'd pack all my shit that instant and leave.

They yelled at me. Pointed out that I never do anything, that I blew off the FAFSA, blew off college, blew off that crappy job I had (I got fired from that one, not my fault) and that they had to push me to apply for food stamps (not true, did on my own), to apply for jobs (once or twice), to do everything. And then I freaked out.

Why did you do the things in bold?

Also, I know the job market is not that great right now, but why did you also not go out applying for jobs. I constantly hear on KGO while driving around that jobs are popping up in the bay at a decent rate.

[Arcana]

You don't have any savings either from the sounds of it. Damn I thought you were in a 40K/year job. Ugh, how'd you get fired? Was it a legitimate firing? Did you receive any severance?

Anyway that sucks Mirby. Sorry, I don't know anyone in that area who can help. Hope things turn up, like Ashamee's connections and so forth.

[Mirby]

@Arcana: They didn't even pay me. Because I didn't fulfill their bs contractual obligations I naively agreed to, because they made it sound so easy.

So I wasted a month and only got 125 bucks from it. And now I only have 78 cents.

It was a scam. And thanks for the well wishes.

@Arek: Because I became depressed at the time, once again, and when I get depressed I get lazy. And by the time I came out of it, it was too late because college had begun the fall semester.

[Arek the Absolute]

Do you have any relatives you can stay with? Have you spoken to your parents and told them what is going on?

[Mirby]

@-Dan: I can't get a hold of my uncle, my sister can't help me out, my mom has no room, my brother is too busy doing.. whatever it is he's doing. So my relatives are no help.

Yeah, I wish they could help, but they can't.

[Arek the Absolute]

To those that you HAVE gotten in contact with, have you honestly told them you are homeless? Have you explained to them the severity of what is going on?

[Darklink42]

@Arek: Because I became depressed at the time, once again, and when I get depressed I get lazy. And by the time I came out of it, it was too late because college had begun the fall semester.

There's one of your major problems right there. Don't take me the wrong way on this, because I don't know that much about your life situation, but you can't let things like that happen. Merely writing off stuff because you were depressed isn't okay, and it's really going to sink you in the real world, as you've discovered. I get depressed a lot too, but the thing I learned is that you can't let it stop you from making decisions and trying your absolute hardest to make forward progress, even if it's baby steps.

Listen, it's a tough world out there, and no one in it is going to be forgiving of you if you stumble. It's cruel as hell, but that's just the way it is. You can't let your personal afflictions hold you back, you need to get up, brush yourself off, and make a dedicated effort never to repeat the mistakes you've just made.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a real bastard, but I've been out on my own for three years now, and it's been a bitch for all three. People hate you when you have no money, no ride, and they will really hate you if you have a tendency to display that you're not as socially or financially well-adjusted as they are. The reason is mostly because they can't fathom the idea of being in your shoes. Prove them wrong, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and work hard to stay in the game, even if it's just for yourself. Don't go for jobs on the internet, find jobs where you live. Don't tell yourself they're too far, or too early, or beneath you. Don't let the fact that the job application process is as degrading as it gets wear on you either. That last one is tough, and I will freely admit that I still struggle with it. But if I'm still fighting and trying not to let it, I think you can too. Since you're not in college studying for something, you've absolutely got to find yourself work wherever you can, even if it's the worst job on the planet (I shoveled dog shit at 6 in the morning every day for 6 months before I got FAFSA and started college.)

Don't be afraid of living and surviving. None of us got prepared for the idea that we may have to live at absolute bare minimums growing up, and it can be frightening. All we have to judge is the filthy homeless guy on the corner, and our parents who have had their whole lives to get adjusted (at whatever level they made it to.) The trick is to keep moving forward. If you're not doing at least (and this is in your case until you've got some form of stability) two or three things to progress your own survival and improve your situation per day, you're just wasting time. After you've gotten yourself to a stable situation, however shitty it seems, don't stop. If you can keep that pace, do it. If not, try to do at least one. Don't spend a single day where you do "nothing". Sleep if you have to, read if you have to, play a video game for an hour if you have to. Rest and sanity are important, but they are no longer you're driving force.

From one Taylor to another, if you've got the tools to know why you were wrong, then you've got the tools to fix them. Don't down yourself if you backslide a little, but don't say to yourself "It's okay, it's just how it is" either. You know how damaging some of your behaviors are, you've acknowledged it yourself. Work on it a piece at a time until you don't do it anymore. And if you're unable to because you're well and truly disabled, then go and find out what you can do about it. Can you file for disability? If you can't, are there free or cheap (but decent) clinics that can help you get help?

tl;dr: We're a great community here, and you're not wrong to ask for help. But as Capa put it, you've got to start helping yourself. The more you're showing that you're honestly and sincerely dedicated to that process, the more people will want to be forgiving and help you.

[Arcana]

@Arcana: They didn't even pay me. Because I didn't fulfill their bs contractual obligations I naively agreed to, because they made it sound so easy.

So I wasted a month and only got 125 bucks from it. And now I only have 78 cents.

It was a scam. And thanks for the well wishes.

I wonder if there's some way you can get reimbursement for this or something. It might not be worth pursing now but perhaps later on when you don't have a dozen other things that are a bit more pressing.

And as Arek said, make sure you emphasize that you are going to be on the street if they don't help you out.

A surprising number of 20 and 30 somethings are moving back in with their parents in this age. It might sound ridiculous, but it's true - house prices and rent prices are simply too high nowadays, and the workforce is not really hiring new people. So where do people go? Back to their parents, who own property and still have jobs.

[Mirby]

Oh, I've been working on it. School started a month and a half ago, and I've not been depressed since then.

The first thing I've done to help myself is look for jobs. As I pointed out in the OP, they were wrong on a lot of their assumptions and memories, having them twisted to make me look like the lazy POS at all times. But I have been looking for a job. Heck, I even managed to get another online writing gig through this from a friend. Sure, only 2 bucks an article, but it's better than nothing.

So I am helping myself. I managed to get myself on hormones, to get to the doctor's office of my own will. For the past month (longer, really) everything I've needed to do I've made myself do. I am strong, but as with anyone, I still have moments of weakness.

Also, keep in mind that one of my former roommates here was an unstable psychotic bitch who once threatened to stab me. And the other just follows everything the first says blindly.

@Arcana: As I said, my parents don't have room for me. The trailer I was living in is now filled to the brim with stuff, and they have a new baby so that's taking up what little space they had in their <500 sq ft cabin.

And I don't even know how to go about doing that.

[Arcana]

Unfortunately, even if she is a psycho bitch, she's a psycho bitch who pays her rent on time.

[Mirby]

No, she hasn't. That's why I've been here, to help. And they may not even be able to. The past 3 months we've paid on the LAST DAY POSSIBLE, the 3rd day of the 3 day pay or quit.

[Arek the Absolute]

So you can't even stay on your parents couch?

Something is amiss here.

[Halt]

There HAS to be someone you could stay with, an old high school buddy or something.

If my ass got kicked to the curb, I know a LOT of people who would let me crash on their couch.

You must know people Mirby.

[Mirby]

They don't have a couch. They've got a wood stove, a bed, a kitchen area, a baby crib, and a bathroom.

Like I said, it's a <500 sq ft cabin. One story. I think it's actually either 460 or 480 sq ft. That's tiny.

And the problem with me moving down here is that I don't know anyone. Everyone I know is up there.