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I did it once and I'll never do it again


Jax Mandrake
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Do note that most of these games are great classics.

  • The fourth stage in BTDD. I had to save state on the emulator and quick load the last moment of the fight against the Dark Queen's ship soooo many times... but it felt great to clap a childhood challenge (that stage plus the entire game). That was my reward. Never again, especially without save states.
  • Moonwalker. Yes, with Michael Jackson.
  • Star Wars Ep 1: Racer: the Abyss track was so hard. I couldn't beat it; my brother had to do it. My favorite racer was Neva Kee, but the only person that we could ever beat it with was Bullseye Navoir. Smooth turns kept you on the upper track. Nevermore.
  • Mortal Kombat 2 and Shaolin Monks. Beat it, and swore never to respect Shao Kahn for being such a coward. Again? Nope, fuck Shang Tsung, fuck Kintaro, and fuck Shao Kahn.
  • Managed to kill Carnage in Maximum Carnage. I had to get high to do it. Love the music, but I'll never mess with Carnage's bad ass anymore. Too much badass.
  • Never got every emblem in Sonic Adventure 1. Too disappointed with such a broken, chancy PoS of a Sonic game (1 minute, Sky Deck, Knuckles) . As for Sonic Adventure 2, which I liked, I can brag about my geometrically complicated mind and say that I clapped Rouge's Mad Space in minutes, all A-rank, but what in the fuck would I do that to myself for? Craziest shit since Trigonometry.
  • Motherfuck Sonic Heroes. Just fuck that assy game.
  • Rayman 2 was almost one of my favorite games until I saw the ending. That sapped it of replay value completely.
  • JGR and JSRF.
  • Starfox Adventures: friggin' tired of saving Slippy Toad's ass.
  • Spawn Armageddon.
  • MvC3. 2 was better.
  • Final Fight.
  • The final showdown in event mode on SSBM. I could beat it only with Samus.
  • All-Star on very hard in Melee; anything hard in multi-man melee, especially getting a lucky TKO in any SSB Cruel mode with every character.
  • SSBM again: getting that punching bag to fly with Craptain Falcon.
  • Duck Dodgers.
  • Yoshi's Cookie.
  • The level in SMW with the unsteady platforms in the sky that sink if you stand too long, plus the Ghost Ship. Oh, and the Special levels... The last time that I played those was at Taucer's house.
  • Left 4 Dead 2... yeah, I beat it easily but I can still hear that Witch...
  • Any Call of Doodoo or Gears of Bore.
  • Someone mentioned the annoying parts of Jet Force Gemini. Great game though.
  • Capcom vs SNK: last SNK challenge featured a complete asshole.
  • Power Stone 2. Love the extra characters but 1 was better.
  • Brawl.
  • Max Payne.
  • PoP: Sands of Time.
  • Contra. NO. PLEASE GOD, NO!
  • Honest to God, Mario 1 through 3. I'm serious, fuck if I'm skilled.
  • Super Mario Land, on one set of batteries. This was before I knew about emulation. Those gameboys were bricks.
  • Blast Corps for three seconds. That was hard. NEXT!
  • Kirby 64. Disgrace to Kirby.
  • Castlevania 64.
  • Bushido Blade series
  • Crash Bandicoot. Fuck him.
  • Halo.
  • DBZ Hyper Dimension.
  • DBZ Sagas. PoS.
  • The mini-game coaster in Mario Party 2. SO UNFAIR AND SO UNWORTHY WHEN YOU BEAT IT!
  • Turtles in Time. No more of that madness.
  • SoR3 would be worth it if the soundtrack didn't suck so bad.
  • I would play SM64 again, but all I get is a kiss, some cake, 100 lives, a glittery triple jump, and no classic jockey fun with Yoshi! You're an asshole, Yoshi, a complete asshole.

I could name more, but

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FFFFUUUUUUUU!!!

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Final boss of Tekken 5 (some "Pachi") on Ultra Hard mode. That bastard is so OP. Endless chainstun into fireballs.

I never beat that shit and it makes me want to cry just thinking about it. 5 hours and endless retries later with my best character (Yoshimitsu).

..I kinda want to go try it again just to say I did.

Edit: I made it to stage 3. All my tekken skills are gone. Oh well, at least I won't traumatize myself with the boss fight.

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Teaching someone how to play video games, who has absolutely no experience with them whatsoever.

I love my wife, and I'm glad she's learning how so she can relate when I talk about games with her, and so she can enjoy a hobby that has given me plenty of joy, things to think about, and amazing experiences... but once I'm done with her, never again. Never, never again.

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Teaching someone how to play video games, who has absolutely no experience with them whatsoever.

I love my wife, and I'm glad she's learning how so she can relate when I talk about games with her, and so she can enjoy a hobby that has given me plenty of joy, things to think about, and amazing experiences... but once I'm done with her, never again. Never, never again.

I taught my dad how to play Halo with my friends once. He actually managed to get some kills in.

I also introduced my mother to Legend of Dragoon when I was like.. 6. She got through Helena before she decided she didn't have enough time.

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Teaching someone how to play video games, who has absolutely no experience with them whatsoever.

I love my wife, and I'm glad she's learning how so she can relate when I talk about games with her, and so she can enjoy a hobby that has given me plenty of joy, things to think about, and amazing experiences... but once I'm done with her, never again. Never, never again.

Try teaching a guy to play a first person shooter. All I wanted to do was laugh my brains out. And I freaking suck at first person shooters. So to see some other guy not knowing what aiming was or even what throwing a grenade was, I sorta lost it. I'm not even that bad. And I don't mean "what button is aim". I mean "what the heck do you mean by aim". Are you kidding me?

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Insane in the Membrane, a beast of an achievement in World of Warcraft. If the linked article is too long for you, let me break it down for you. You had to simultaneously have exalted reputation with the following factions:

#1 Bloodsail Buccaneers (Time Consumption 5%) - Earn approx 20,000 rep. At 25 rep for each monster killed, that's 800 kills. Try to kill more than one at a time and you'll get slaughtered. High difficulty with a low kill count and no loot rewards.

#2 Steamwheedle Cartel (Time Consumption 40%) - Earn approx 60,000 rep. At 5 rep per kill, that's 12,000 kills. If you cough at one of the enemies they will die. No difficulty with a high kill count. You don't loot the bodies because it more than doubles your time investment for little return. No loot.

#3 Shen'dralar (Time Consumption 25%) - Earn 42,000 rep. Gather 84 books (1% drop, you can only hold 3 books at a time), 84 diamonds (less than 1% drop if you want to find them OR super expensive if you want to buy them), and some other more common stuff (but still pricey) from a place called Dire Maul, home of the ogres. Those damn ogres. Expensive.

#4 Darkmoon Faire (Time Consumption 10%) - Earn 42,000 rep. Collect 960 playing cards (120 decks of 8 cards each) and turn them in to a collector NPC. Common cards are cheap, but each deck has at least one rare card that is about the same price as the diamonds mentioned above. Expensive.

#5 Ravenholdt (Time Consumption 20%) - Earn 42,000 rep. Start off by killing 4,200 mobs (dead if you cough at them but they hide in the shadows and have no loot). Then, play a new character class to almost maximum level if you aren't playing one already. With that character, you head out to an underground jail out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Sneak around undetected in there and pickpocket monsters for 1,400 of an uncommon item. You can only hold about 100 at a time. Then you go back to the main city and mail them to your main character for him to turn in at a collector NPC. Then back to the middle of nowhere. City. Boondocks. City. No man's land. City. Montana. Boring.

All that for a little title above your head.

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