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OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!


Dafydd
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  • 3 months later...

Aight, I hope this is good enough. I used the character's name a lot to avoid as much confusion about gender as possible.

NiGHTS

"...have you ever thought about flying?"

ocr_mascot_169.png

Article by: Level 99

Pictured from: NiGHTS into Dreams...

Created by: Sega

First appearance: 1996

Bio

Anything is possible in dreams. NiGHTS is a resident of the dream world Nightopia, where it spends time playfully flying through the air, performing acrobatics, and playing an invisible flute. When some of the children of Twin Seeds go to sleep and slip into nightmares, they escape into the world of Nightopia and find NiGHTS for the first time.

Originally a creation of the ruler of realm of Nightmare, Wizeman, NiGHTS is a 1st Level Nightmaren. NiGHTS rebelled against Wizeman after he tried to take over Nightopia, and was imprisoned inside the Ideya Palace as a result. Upon dualizing with dreamers who come into contact with NiGHTS, it breaks free and regains the ability to fly and perform tricks. With the help of these dreamers, NiGHTS fights against Wizeman and his henchmen for the freedom of Nightopia.

NiGHTS is a genderless being who's appearance and abilities can change depending on a given situation, such as a bobsled in a snow area and a dolphin when underwater. While usually kind and chivalrous, NiGHTS is also a bit of a prankster, playing jokes and scaring people. NiGHTS also has a complicated relationship with the other 1st Level Nightmaren, Reala, who's abilities are nearly identical to NiGHTS. While NiGHTS is curious and playful, Reala is cold and obedient, never questioning Wizeman's orders to imprison NiGHTS and capture Nightopia.

Will NiGHTS be able to stop Wizeman from taking over the dream world?

Selected game appearances

=== Saturn ===

NiGHTS Into Dreams... (1996)

Christmas NiGHTS: Into Dreams... (1996)

=== Game Boy Advance ===

Sonic Pinball Party (2003)

=== Playstation 2 ===

Sega Superstars (2004)

Sonic Riders (2006)

NiGHTS: Into Dreams... (JP) (2008)

Sega Superstars Tennis (2008)

Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity (2008)

Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing (2010)

=== Wii ===

NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams... (2007)

References

Wikipedia - "Nights (character)"

Wikipedia - "Nights into Dreams..."

Wikipedia - "Nights: Journey of Dreams"

NiGHTS: Into Dreams instruction manual

NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams instruction manual

NiGHTSintoDreams.com - "Bio: NiGHTS"

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There's a few issues with genitives/possessives and apostrophes, but my main gripe is with how confusing this was to read.

Originally a creation of the ruler of realm of Nightmare, Wizeman, NiGHTS is a 1st Level Nightmaren.

Nightmare, Wizeman, NiGHTS. :whatevaa: Took me 5 reads to get this sentence. I'm trying to figure out a better one that says the same thing.

NiGHTS is a genderless being who's appearance and abilities can change depending on a given situation, such as a bobsled in a snow area and a dolphin when underwater.
This sentence sounds wrong. How about something like
NiGHTS is a genderless being whose appearance and abilities can change depending on the situation, such as into a bobsled in a snow area or into a dolphin when underwater.
?

And what's "Twin Seeds"? Earth? Some alternate universe?

Finally, the list of "Selected game appearances" looks more like a complete list to me. It would be better to mention somewhere in the bio that besides being the main character of the NiGHTS series, he/she/it is also playable in several other SEGA (party type of game) titles, though I'm not sure how to word that in a good way.

Sorry if I come off as too harsh. I blame the confusion. :wink:

Edited by Dafydd
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NiGHTS into Feedback...

- The mascot image is actually from Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity.

- "some of the children of Twin Seeds" --> This would read better as "some children of the city of Twin Seeds" 1) to clarify what Twin Seeds is and 2) because the first "of the" is kinda unnecessary.

- "find NiGHTS for the first time" --> Find or meet?

- "the ruler of realm of Nightmare" --> "the ruler of the realm of Nightmare"

- Yeah, the names Nightmare, Wizeman, and NiGHTS should be separated to avoid confusion, like: "NiGHTS is a 1st Level Nightmaren, originally a creation of..." or: "Wizeman, the ruler of the realm of Nightmare, originally created NiGHTS as..."

- "NiGHTS rebelled against Wizeman after he tried to take over Nightopia, and was imprisoned inside the Ideya Palace as a result." --> For better flow, either cut the comma or put "and as a result was imprisoned..." after it.

- It might help if you briefly explained what "dualizing" is to readers left scratching their heads (touching hands and emitting light? That it?).

- "a genderless being who's appearance" --> Dafydd's right that it should be whose, not who's (possessive).

- "NiGHTS also has a complicated relationship" --> You can cut "also" so you don't repeat it so soon after the previous sentence.

- "Reala, who's abilities" --> also should be whose

- If you want to cut the number of times the name NiGHTS appears in the bio (13), try replacing some instances with "the jester" or "the genderless one" or "the Nightopian" or whatever. You can be creative here, especially in the 3rd paragraph.

- Some of the NiGHTS titles in the appearance list and elsewhere threw me off regarding capitalization and punctuation; I thought Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams... didn't need a colon and "into" should be lowercase (that's how OCR lists the two linked NiGHTS titles). And I'm pretty sure Journey of Dreams doesn't include an ellipsis.

- Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing wasn't released for the PS2; you can move it under Wii (and change the "and" in the title to "&").

Good job introducing the character as opposed to trying to say everything there is about him/her/it. That's what mascot bios should do. For now, just keep spraying Windex on those dirty parts and we'll take another look at it.

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Major thing, which i've already noted to Stevo in an email, is the fact there is a big difference between the term 'genderless' and 'androgynous'.

Genderless implies that the character is of neither gender where as Androgynous applies to both. NiGHTS falls under the androgynous title because Sonic Team as well as Yuji Naka have stated many times in the past that they have designed NiGHTS to be androgynous so the player (or dreamer dreaming of NiGHTS) see's NiGHTS in whatever gender they choose. It was a design feature Naka wanted the character to have so it could be accessible from a boy or girls perspective. Genderless would defeat this design feature by saying NiGHTS has NO gender at all, ever. It's a common mistake people usually use when speaking about NiGHTS.

My idea would be to have the aspect surrounding a dreamers choice on NiGHTS' gender to be explained at an earlier point in the bio and then merely refering to NiGHTS as 'he' for the remainder of bio. For such characters with rare design aspects like this, it's extremely hard to find a decent way of explaining things without it becoming cluttered so opting for simply refering to NiGHTS as 'he' i feel should be allowed to slide. Sonic Team themselves and everyone at SEGA refer to NiGHTS as 'he' for the ease of conversation but the fact still remains that the choice belongs to the person viewing NiGHTS.

So, my two main things with this is just changing genderless to androgynous

and then further explaining why NiGHTS has this aspect so people are clued in to the whole gender thing right at the beginning of the bio.

Aside from that, i love the explanation surrounding Reala and i am also pleased to see NiGHTS' abilities of shape shifting and morphing have also been mentioned as they usually tend to get overlooked a bit.

-edit-

Also, whoops! I totally overlooked that the image is actually from Zero Gravity. I hardly played that game so i forgot he had his new costume design in that one. It's definitely his Journey of Dreams outfit though, the gloves are the biggest giveaway as he didn't wear gloves in NiGHTS into Dreams.

Edited by DiGi Valentine
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Who's got my homey, Vault Boy?

I do. I'm working up the final edits to the rough draft right now. Should have it done by tonight or tomorrow and it shall be posted here for review, as usual.

Edit: definitely going to be tomorrow. I've got to find a good quote, and do the formatting, but the main text (rough as it is) is ready to go. I'm mostly debating right now whether I should include more about the Fallout universe proper, or try to dig up some more info on the Vault Boy. I will say though, that the research for this one has been pretty interesting. I've learned quite a bit that I didn't pick up from playing 3 and New Vegas.

Edited by Darklink42
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