OCR03702 - *YES* Sonic CD (JP) "The Jazzy Cosmos"

[Gario]

Link to ReMix (Attachment is there in case Dropbox acts up): 

Contact Information

ReMixer Name: GCJ

Real Name: Caleb

Email: 

Website: https://soundcloud.com/gcjofficial or https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4gkFBO9_FKEr_GRezitg6w

Forum userid: 34256
 

Submission Information

Games Arranged: Sonic CD

Name of Arrangement: The Jazzy Cosmos

Name of Song Arranged: "Cosmic Eternity - Believe In Yourself"

Link to Original Song Used: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvef7waXCxY

Comments on Mix: I thought some of the chords in this song were really jazzy so I made a jazz remix. It's my first time mixing vocals that aren't super heavily processed, and basically my first time mixing in this genre. It was made in anticipation for Sonic CD's anniversary on September 23, and I hope this is submitted early enough to get it judged by then. If it gets passed, but before September 23, I would appreciate it if it was held to release until then.

 

 

[Gario]

Man, I really think this is a cool track; the performances are pretty solid, and the arrangement is just smooth as hell. I have two issues with it: first, the vocals sound like they were recorded in a different room. They sound like they have a different mastering job than the rest of the arrangement, which comes off strange. The ending also has a rather unsatisfying fade-out ending - I think this would've benefitted from a proper ending.

I can't deny this track otherwise, though. It's not perfect, but what is there is certainly postable in my book. Great work!

YES

Edit (02/19): New update, so some more commentary from me. The vocals have less of an echo effect which does help them blend a bit better, and the track has an end to it now (nothing special, just a crash, really), which while not the BEST ending it's probably the best they can do without a rewrite. It does sound better than the strange two second F/O it had last time, at least. It does have about 9 seconds of silence at the end now, which is odd but not the biggest deal in the world.

I was good with it before, and this doesn't change that. Here's hoping for the best with the rest of the panel!

[MindWanderer]

Can't argue with anything Gario said.  The vocals are a little wetter than the instruments, but it's not a big deal--I hear mics treated like this in live venues all the time.  There are a few flat moments, but not many, and no worse than the original's vocal performances IMHO.  That fade-out ending is a huge bummer; not only was it unsatisfying, but the overall structure of the arrangement didn't make it seem like that was where it was going to end, so it felt more like a sample than a complete track.

That ending is my only significant beef, but man, it's a big one.  I don't think it's quite disastrous enough to keep this off the front page, but it makes this whole thing hard to listen to, knowing it's going to sound like part of the song is just plain missing.  But what's there is good.

Edit 2/16: I was extremely borderline on this anyway; I'll happily tilt this over for the sake of consensus.

Edit 2/19: I don't feel like the new ending is an improvement at all.

YES (conditional on fixing ending)

[DragonAvenger]

Man, before I even get into the track I have to say done of the original vocal lines are so awkward. 

Ok, that's out of my system. This mix is super fun, and I loved the genre change. I agree with the gents here that the vocals do feel like they are in a different space than the rest if the track but I didn't find it to be a big issue and I wasn't bothered by it. The delivery is on point as well and overall the track felt less awkward than the original. 

The fade out is strange but to me the issue isn't so much the face out itself but that the fade happens too quickly and there should be more vamping before the fade happens. I actually think the fade could be fine if the chorus was repeating like the original. I might consider this a conditional if someone else agreed.

For now I'm going to go with a straight YES and see what the next judge thinks of the issue.

YES

Edit: I think the ending is better, though I agree with Nuts that I do think a longer fadeout would have been the better way to go. My vote remains unchanged, though.

[Sir_NutS]

This is fantastic! such energy and feeling of fun and speed, just what a sonic track needs.  The vocals could've used less processing so they fit better with the rest of the track, but it's not bringing the track down for me.  The swing-y feel of the vocals are a great fit for the track though.

Now, about that ending.  What happened there? it's like the track wasn't finished, specially with such a short fade-out time.  I wouldn't have a big issue with this if it was a longer fade-out but man this is way too short.  

This is a very hard decision for me.  I think I would be willing to give this a pass if the ending was changed. It seems the ending didn't stop the other Js for passing it but I'm not completely on that camp.  I would really like if we could reach out to the artist and ask to double the fadeout time, at least.  

This may seem nitpicky and I may be alone on this one but I don't think this leaves me with a feeling of a finished song and I don't think it can be on the front page as it is.

NO (Conditional on ending fix)

[Chimpazilla]

I agree with the other Js that the vocals sound like they aren't nested into the track well, they sound pasted on, perhaps they are just too loud, fx and all.  Other than that, the track is very well crafted.  Drum groove gets repetitive after awhile.  This track is almost good to go for me, but I have to agree with Sir_NutS here, the too-quick fadeout is a dealbreaker.  It would be so easy to end this on the downbeat with a nice crash or something, but the quick fadeout sounds too awkward.  I hope we can get that fixed!

YES (conditional on fixing ending)

[Jivemaster]

Very funky, retro instrumentation melded with a modern soundscape. A lot of nice articulations in the background instruments, which add a professional flavour. The piano solo at 2:17 sounded somewhat robotic, but had a good melody to it. The instruments complement each other well.

I hold the same opinion as Chimpa and NutS, the vocals float above the mix far too much, and the outro fadeout is insanely short - I know tracks on the game did this but I don't think it needs to be done as aggressively, it didn't suit in this case IMO. I would appreciate a revision of the outro to fade things out over a slightly longer timeframe, and have those vocals descended into the mix more, so they feel a part of the presentation.

I'm not sure how rapidly this can be achieved. I'll NO for this moment but happy to Yes if I can hear the improvements.

NO (conditional on vocal mix and ending)

Vote updated on 180224, based on new mix: I like the vocals more now than before, especially, during the chorus portions. I do feel they have become too dry during the verse sections, but overall a solid improvement - they no longer feel like they've been dropped on top of everything and no longer overpower other portions of the mix anymore. I can also make out a lot more of your vocal articulations in this mix, which make your vocals easier to appreciate. You have a great voice, one which doesn't need to be buried in effects to be appreciated, which is trait many would kill for. The outro was serviceable. Of course this could be pushed even further, but this passes for me. Good job.

YES

[Gario]

Seems like we're pretty much in unison about the ending and vocals being an issue, even if whether it's passable or not is in debate, so I sent the artist a request to fix that ending specifically while mentioning the issue with the vocals. Here's hoping for a fix.

[Gario]

Alright, we got an update - check first post.

Additional comments on update:

Comments on Mix: I changed up the vocals to make them sound more natural within the mix, added some more variation to the drumbeat to avoid too much repetition, and extended the ending to make it less jarring. In addition, I re-did the piano solo (not changing the melody, just making it less robotic) and replaced the VST for the vibraphone since I have purchased a much better one since I first made this track. Thanks for the tips on making it better! I hope I addressed all of the issues.

[Sir_NutS]

2 hours ago, Gario said:

Alright, we got an update - check first post.

Additional comments on update:

Comments on Mix: I changed up the vocals to make them sound more natural within the mix, added some more variation to the drumbeat to avoid too much repetition, and extended the ending to make it less jarring. In addition, I re-did the piano solo (not changing the melody, just making it less robotic) and replaced the VST for the vibraphone since I have purchased a much better one since I first made this track. Thanks for the tips on making it better! I hope I addressed all of the issues.

Yeah... the ending isn't a super improvement, but it is an improvement.  The vocals are a bit too dry now, but my main beef was with the ending.  This feels less like a WIP now, but to be honest I would've preferred just a longer fadeout instead of just a cymbal crash (Can't believe I'm saying I'd prefer a fadeout).

I think I can let it pass like this, I still think the arrangement is awesome and just needed tweaking in the ending and vocals, which we got, just not to the degree I would've preferred.

YES

[Liontamer]

I'm only going off of the revised version, just FYI.

I hated the ending; no real resolution and flatter than a fuckin' pancake. To me, this was a mixed bag production-wise. The vocals were too dry, and the chorused ones were mixed in a way where they felt pushed into the background and didn't sound clearly pronounced. That said, this was a creative, interesting, and understated arrangement approach. Some strong vocal production could have lifted this up more, but the overall presentation was solid enough and this gets more right than wrong. I'll go with an unconditional YES to close this out.