Liontamer ⚖️ Posted May 23 Posted May 23 (edited) Artist Name: TheManPF Additional artists: Zach Chapman Randomly felt like submitting something today I originally submitted this to Dwelling of Duels back in November for David Wise month, I wasn't planning on submitting cuz I was out of ideas, and a week before deadline the inspiration hit to make a pop punk banger because I felt like it. Krook's March is my favorite song from one of my favorite soundtracks from one of my favorite games, but if you know me at all, I usually don't like making straight covers, it's just not interesting or fulfilling to me, I have to slap some weird shit on it because I can't help myself, so instead of amplifying the darkness and drama of the original, I went full 180° and turned this into a happy hopeful pop punk anthem, I don't have any particular influences for it but I was listening to a bunch of Blink-182 and Good Charlotte at the time, so that might have done it. I gave Zach a loose concept for the lyrics and he wrote the words over a weekend, the point is that this song plays in "Toxic Tower", a very infamous level, since I took the song in the opposite direction, I figured I would do that with the lyrics as well, this is about detoxifying, cutting out toxic relationships, and practicing self care, the first half is a cliche story about sticking together through hard times, but the second half is about recognizing the red flags and letting go of those relationships that hurt you for your own sake. I arranged this in a rush in like 3 days, had the lyrics done during the weekend, and recorded/mixed it in the remaining 2 days before deadline, I originally was gonna have another person sing it because I'm not great with pop, but naturally couldn't find a singer due to the tight deadline. I'll probably update it at some point, but for now, I think this is good enough. This placed 20th out of 34 tracks, I guess my voice is a little bit divisive, whoops, Wise gave it a like on Bluesky though, I don't know if he actually listened to it, but the acknowledgement is nice Lyrics: I've climbed so long, so high Muscles burned inside Ripped myself apart on this odyssey If I could just Rise above the hate, I could Pull us from this pool of toxicity Left of us We'll do this One last time This could be so different All those times we said the same Promised to not leave you there Let's do this together Through the pain I'll keep my word Keep your heart (This is all I'm worth) Despite my own (Never mind the hurt) Climbed so long, I don't Know what else is left here When you were in my arms When was I submerged in this Pain and blame you flow with Here and now won't stand for more Stop this poison in my soul I deserve so much more For myself or no one at all For my soul I'll break my word Break your heart (Set myself free) For my own (Show love to me) Games & Sources Game: Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest Songs arranged: Krook's March (https://youtu.be/lw7Dv00zaao) Original composer: David Wise System: SNES Year: 1995 Edited Thursday at 11:51 AM by prophetik music
prophetik music ⚖️ Posted June 4 Posted June 4 (edited) notably louder in the right ear until the kit comes in, and that's a pretty sharp tone to be isolated like that. tone overall is super bass heavy and boomy in the lows a lot. the kick and bass in the opening have a ton of presence on the fundamental. vocals are very sharp - formant has been overly boosted and they are more piercing than i'd like. at the prechorus at 0:45, i lose the lead line in the harmonies - that needs to be doubled and separately brought up. there's a bit of a break/transition at 1:10, and then it kicks back up at 1:18. the prosody on the third line "promised to not leave you there" is a bit weird as you sit on 'to' instead of a more important word. we get another chorus section with a too-quiet lead right after, but i like the backing elements a lot here. back to the verse at 1:57, and again the prosody is a bit weird through here as the sustained words are usually not important words. the fast change to 'pain and blame' is confusing too. there's a fast transition to a quick break before we're back to the prechorus section again. the subsequent chorus at 2:48 is again a nice sound, and the lead seems a bit stronger this time around so that's good. there's some solos to play us out, before a big drop at 3:23 quotes some of the opening before a final chord to finish it. this is a neat concept, and you've clearly got a good idea on how to frame and shape a track like this - it flows nicely throughout, there's some fun hooks, and you don't let the backing elements become boring, which is great. i think my main issues are with the mix being very boomy while the vocals are very sharp in some sections (edit: this is the same issue i had with the chorus on your SH remix that recently got posted), and separately the prosody in several sections is not very smooth. i didn't see the original comments from DoD, so i don't have context on why this track placed where it did. i think mostly your singing tone is good (it gets nasally and pointed once and a while, but overall sounds nice), and issues there are more with the EQing of the voice parts. this isn't there yet. i certainly don't think it needs a different singer - just some updates to the mix, and maybe settling some words a bit more. NO Edited June 11 by prophetik music i wasn't as clear as i could be on my critiques about your singing voice, and i don't want to come across as divisive or elitist.
Liontamer ⚖️ Posted June 9 Author Posted June 9 Rocks out at :13. Hate the piano at :19, which sounds super fake and blocky, but it's well-produced enough (and doubled by the belltones) to take the uncanny valley stink off of them; kudos for making good use of the sample. :-) The vocal delivery at :27 sounds awesome to me; when I look at the lyrics, then you notice some ESL tendencies in the delivery. That said, the overall pronunciation is done well. I had no inherent problem with the prosody and felt the timing and inflections of the lyrics sound nicely stylized. From :45-1:02 & 1:35-1:52, I wish the vocals didn't get as pushed down, but they definitely sound like they're surrounded by the music, so I'll have to live with it. At 1:46 & 1:50 though, the vocal parts of "(This is all I'm worth)"/"(Never mind the hurt)" and at 2:58 & 3:02 "(Set myself free)"/"(Show love to me)" all get so, so buried, they might as well not be there, which I'm sure wasn't the intention. If one thing were to be tweaked here, making those lines more audible would be it. That said, it's not a dealbreaker. Really, really enjoyed the stereo panning of the chorused vocals from 1:10-1:18, as well as the clock ticks ping-ponging around the field from 1:52-1:56; small details that sound great and separate the good from the great. All of the musicianship sounds awesome, and the theme treatment is creatively comprehensive. I really dug the countermelodic and rhythm guitar work underneath the second verse from 1:57-2:13. I don't want to miss the forest for the trees. I do understand the comments on the prosody and some mixing nice-to-haves, it just didn't come off as anything dealbreaking with the standards. The source is creatively arranged and the production's solid. The same type of voting dynamic happened with his Silent Hill 4 mix where production/mixing stuff got nitpicked. This is above our bar all day, don't get it twisted. YES
Emunator ⚖️ Posted June 16 Posted June 16 I remember feeling like this track was criminally underrated when it debuted in Dwelling of Duels - could be my own personal punk affinity coloring my first impression, but after many repeat listens, although the production critiques came into focus as the rose colored tinting faded slightly, the arrangement and adaptation of the source material is just stellar. I'll stand by that no matter how this vote swings - the lyrics, guitar performance, and overall arrangement quality shine. Listening back with a critical ear, I feel like this track is very transient. There are a few elements here that feel extremely clicky - the pluck on the bass and the ticking clock all feel sharper than than they should. I think some general transient shaping or gentle compression would stop those from peeking out in the mix as much and help you keep everything more balanced. At certain frequencies, you can REALLY hear the pluck on the bass in an unpleasant way - it feels uneven in the mix, and the ticking clock could probably just come down in volume. I didn't notice the mixing on the vocals as much at first, but when I tried to actually pick out the lyrics, it made me realize that I really couldn't tell what the lyrics are simply because they're not cutting through the mix. It's hard to say whether this is caused by improper EQ/compression on the vocals, or if the rest of the instruments are too loud and masking the fundamental frequency of the vocal, or a mix of both. Those are my two main mix gripes. Aside from that, I loved this to death, and I feel pretty strongly that this is enough to pass as-is. I do want to share this mixing critique with you even if the song does pass unconditionally, since I think a few improvements would make it much stronger, but I can't make the argument that this doesn't clear the bar as it stands. Good luck either way! YES
XPRTNovice ⚖️ Posted June 19 Posted June 19 Eyy man alright! This is cool stuff. I want to start off by saying how much I really enjoy this track, and how excited I am for you to get the mixing on point so that it shines the way that I think it really can. Right now, it's falling below the production bar for me, but more importantly I think from an artistic perspective it's falling below the POTENTIAL bar for me. I'll give my mixing critiques below. Some of these have already been outlined by judges so I won't belabor the point, but I do find that I am more stuck on them than Larry and Emu so I'll try to dive a bit deeper. Right away, I can tell the guitars are going to be too loud; they're quite heavy on the high frequency and loud, and since it's so right-ear heavy at the start, it sticks out. The vocal performance is good, but I can't understand hardly anything that's being said because it's buried by a lot of what's going on in the mix. At :53, I think I like the harmony and the vocal stuff with the rest of the wall of sound, but I can't really tell. We've got a ton of heavy transients in the bass and the kick drum that are making it hard to hear anything else, and when the crash cymbal comes in the problem compounds. The parts that should be featured - like the vocals and the kickass guitar runs happening - mostly take a backseat to an improperly mixed drum set and a bass guitar that switches between some attacks that are so harsh they almost sound digitally distorted and an improperly carved EQ curve that makes it go woom woom at 400hz or so (to my ear.) The ticking clock is way, way too in front in almost all occurrences. Have to agree with Larry about the harshness of the piano in some spots, but I wouldn't say I hate it - and that's because I'm nice, and Larry is a jerk. What's fun is that it seems like the background instruments - the stuff that should be the HARDEST to mix in, such as the strings, synth rolls, arps, chorus, tubular bells - seem to be in the right place and the right intensity. It's the front end instruments that are really making this track suffer - again, the drums and bass being the worst culprits. The tambourine steals the show at the end. The tambourine should never steal the show. And its second-in-command of this robbery is the jingle bells. These are garnishes, not the main course, but like the cymbals and other high-freq instruments, they are taking up all my belly space. Overall, this track is mostly plagued by balancing issues between the instruments that make it hard to focus on what is otherwise a REALLY COOL ARRANGEMENT, with, from what I can tell, really great performances. But it's got a lot of mixing issues, both within each instrument, and in how the instruments interact with each other, and that makes it fall short of its potential - which, again, I really want to emphasize, is quite large. This track could be one of the best feel good vocal rock mixes on the site, but it's got some work on the production side to get there. The writing is extremely on-point, the performances are excellent, the arranging is wonderful, the overall je ne sais quiche lorraine that it brings is just delightful. I feel good listening to it. NO (PLEASE RESUBMIT)
Chimpazilla ⚖️ Posted June 26 Posted June 26 Oooo, tough one. This arrangement is great, performances are great, but as the other Js have mentioned, the mixing is a problem. It's odd because the track sounds well enough balanced overall. There are enough lows, mids and highs. But it sounds.... so off. I think what has happened here is that the instruments have been EQd in such a way that all of their low-mids have been removed. This includes the vocal. So the guitar, piano, and vocals all sound unbearably thin and anemic. Any mid-highs and highs on these elements have been hyped, or they sound hyped as a result, causing the overall mix to sound almost painfully bright. The vocal should be the star of this mix, but due to being harshly EQd like this, the vocal melts into the soundscape and becomes lost (among several elements all screaming in the same frequency range), causing me to be unable to understand the lyrics. It's a shame because this really is a well executed arrangement, but the mixing is putting it under the bar for me. I suggest re-balancing and mixing this from the ground up. Start with just the bass and drums, then add in one element at a time, making sure the elements don't compete in frequency, but also not EQing them into oblivion. NO (please address the mixing and resubmit)
pixelseph ⚖️ Posted July 5 Posted July 5 TheManPF 🤝 Me Splitting the panel on every other submission I remember this one from Wise month and was surprised that it wasn't in the upper-third of rankings at the end of the vote. The arrangement is killer - a reharmonized take on a source is one of my favorite remix choices! - though the production is the elephant in the room. While reading the lyrics through and listening, I found I could understand the vocal pretty well - but without the lyric sheet, it was much, much harder to make out the words being sung. The vocals are exactly where one expects them in this kind of mix, with the instrumentation built around them for support, so it's not stereo placement interfering with the legibility, but the mixing itself. Overhead mics on the drumkit are pretty forward and compressed, which is good for the style but could stand to pull back a dB or two. I also would look at any compression you have on your low-end and dial it back by a dB or two as well. I don't think any of these not being fixed is a dealbreaker for my vote, but they would be welcome if you were to revisit the mix should this pass! I'm with Larry and Emu here; it's not perfect, but we don't vote on potential! YES
Hemophiliac ⚖️ Posted July 5 Posted July 5 When you say that Good Charlotte and Blink 182 were possibly influences, I agree they definitely had some factor here. This does sound like that early 2000s semi-emo rock style. I think you nailed that. It's a super fun arrangement that highlights all of the parts from the source at one time or another, and the performances are very solid. I have no issues with them. My problem is with the mix/balance. I can't understand the lyrics without following along with the written word because they are buried by the other parts. Their performance is good, no problems with any accent or enunciation issues. It's strictly balance and maybe some EQ'ing. The other parts are standing more forward to me and they cover up the vocals (except the short bit at the beginning when no guitars are playing). If the vocals were more forward featured in the mix I would likely be able to understand what is being said. Everything else in this is awesome and I wish I could give that a pass, but because the balance on the vocals effects the listening experience the whole way through I can't give it the nod. NO (resubmit)
jnWake ⚖️ Posted July 6 Posted July 6 Definitely remember this one from DoD, "Krook's March" is also one of my favorite tracks from DKC2 although I'd have never expected a cover like this! Begins with a clock ticking and a guitar riff/chords, with a tone that sounds fairly sharp (probably heavy around 2kHz). At 0:08 the source usage and direction becomes clear, it's now on a major key! At 0:10 the classic low strings riff from the originals plays on guitar, it sounds rocking and I dig the tone. At 0:19 we get piano and strings turning this into a very happy mood. Vocals appear at 0:27, they're kind of buried in the mix. 0:44 we move to a second verse, here the bass at times has a clacking sound that's distracting. I love how the changes to the source sound at 0:53. Another riff from the source at 1:01, the calmer mood helps the vocals stand out more but they're still fairly low volume. 1:18 we have a pre-chorus, the bass clacking keeps being distracting and we get a nice build up to the chorus! And what a chorus it is, I absolutely love it. After the chorus we repeat the intro, the first verse and we repeat the 0:53 and 1:01 sections (with some extra elements). There's another pre-chorus and another chorus after. At 3:05 we have a guitar lead/solo and then a repeat of the riff at 0:10 but with only bass and that eventually leads to the outro. On arrangement this is simply top notch, taking such a dramatic and tense source and turning into a happy anthem is just genious. The chorus is simply lovely. There's absolutely no question about source usage either. Production is, as previous judges have noted, the main talking point. Vocals, which should be the highlight of the soundscape, simply aren't standing out enough. As an ESL I'm not often trying to understand what people sing so I don't mind if I can't understand the words at all times but I'd definitely love the vocals being louder. My main other gripe is the bass, there's a weird clacking on its sound that I find extremely distracting. Overall, this is a really great arrangement that has some issues on production. For my vote I'm gonna side with those on the YES side since, while I feel there's definite potential to improve the mix, I also think it's above the "hobbyist" bar. YES
paradiddlesjosh ⚖️ Posted Wednesday at 07:42 PM Posted Wednesday at 07:42 PM "Krook's March" in a major key? Sign me up! Piggybacking off of Hemo for a second, this arrangement is indeed super fun. I'm personally not bothered by the vocal delivery on this track. While I can certainly point out some phrases that stick out oddly as a native English speaker (e.g. "Promised to not leave you there" is usually said by native English speakers as "promised not to leave you there" because it doesn't split the infinitive and for this song, flipping the positions of "to" and "not" improves the prosody), I'm happy to have lyrics and vocals in the one language I can read, write, and kinda sorta speak well. 😄 It seems like we're all in agreement here that the mixdown is far from ideal. The vocals compete for clarity at 0:45-1:01, the chorus at 1:36-1:52, again at 2:14-2:22, and leading into the second chorus starting from "For myself..." at 2:45-3:05. The biggest contributors to the clarity bottleneck are the cymbals (especially those open hi-hats) at 0:45-1:01 and 2:14-2:22 and the synth lead in the left channel in the choruses (1:36-1:52 and 2:45-3:05), with the lead guitar doubling the melody on the last one from 2:45-2:48 also obscuring the vocal line. I think these non-vocal elements can come down 1.5-2dB to make space for the vocals without negatively impacting the rest of the mix. The same can be said for the tick-tock clock. With that being said, I'm siding with the Ys. While there is definitely potential for a cleaner mixdown, this is above our bar. YES
Rexy ⚖️ Posted Thursday at 12:08 AM Posted Thursday at 12:08 AM Echoing what Josh said above, I love the idea of taking an ominous theme and setting it in a major key. The lyrical content evokes a sound reminiscent of Yellowcard, which is the same kind of pop-punk vibe mentioned in your write-up. If it isn't the vocals carrying the bulk of the melodic content, it's either the synth, the lead guitar, or both the vocals and guitar during the bridges. It does transition back to a minor key for the choruses, but it works and effectively showcases the emo-driven desperation in the lyric writing. Now, the mixdown. The recording quality is excellent, as always, and the sum of all parts sounds like they work together as a cohesive whole. Even then, a good handful of the individual instruments have a bright tone - on my first listen, the sleigh bells (?) were so far front that I almost wanted to call it a Christmas song. No problem with that, but it does leave the vocals competing for space with all the mid-high-toned instrumentation (cymbals, bells, lead guitar, synths). With that much conflict in the audio space, the vocals are hard enough to hear, even when reading the lyrics. I've no problem with the ESL quirks either - we've encountered that before in a previous mixpost of yours, and it should still not be an issue now. This submission felt so close to me, but in the end, I'd rather hear another mixdown pass that either brings the vocals further forward or brings every other melodic/non-kick percussion instrument back as a group - anything to make your voice more present. I want to hear that conviction, regardless of the vote decision. :) NO (resubmit)
DarkeSword 🎮 Posted Thursday at 05:41 AM Posted Thursday at 05:41 AM Arrangement is killer, performances are killer. Production is not killer. I feel like the balance is really off here. The whole thing is sizzling, the vocals feel drowned out at points. The NO-voting judges I think are on the mark. This needs another pass on the mix. I feel distracted from enjoying this because of the balance issues. Great track, for sure want this on OCR, but let's get some help with fixing the mix up. Take it to the workshop, maybe some of our Sages or Judges can help. For now, it's a NO.
Recommended Posts