Polo

1st paragraph is solid. I don't recommend any changes to it. 2nd paragraph: - I'm not keen on the paragraph starting with "however." The sentence would work fine without it. - "there are a few songs he keeps secret except to those in the know" --> "K.K. Slider has a few secret songs in his setlist" (this is to avoid singling out who can and cannot request these songs and to avoid implying that he owns every song ever without the word "setlist" in there) - "Be warned, though" sounds like you're maintaining the second person "you" in the bio. You can either remove it or substitute it with something like "Additionally" to continue covering the "request" aspect of his musicianship. - "he'll play a random background song and say he doesn't know that song" --> Is it the background song he claims not to know or the requested song he doesn't know? - I feel the third sentence (the parenthetical aside at least) only raises more questions, like: Why are requests for Free Bird turned down in real life? Does this have to do with copyrights or something? I'm no expert on popular music and I haven't played a single Animal Crossing game, but I feel a workable solution would be simply to equate the in-game experience of requesting a song to an actual concert's result, via "as a nod to certain real life concerts" or something. (bottom line: remove "Free Bird") - You have the word "request" appear 4 times in this paragraph. I know it's tricky, but try to avoid repetition wherever you can. 3rd paragraph's just a little bit wordy (a handful of words can be cut to keep the bio more focused), but it's not a dealbreaker. For now, just focus on sprucing up the 2nd paragraph.

Notes for K.K. Slider: - "he'll show up in town" --> The player's town, right? Just make it clear, because it assumes without explicitly stating that Animal Crossing takes place mainly in a town rather than the world at large. - "give a free concert to whoever shows up" --> To the concert, right? The end of the sentence sounds ambiguous, like townsfolk could show up in town or in front of K.K. or at some other place. It's less confusing to say something like: "give a free concert for townsfolk to come to." - You have "show up" twice in the second sentence. If you haven't already done so, change one of them to avoid subtle repetition. - From what you guys are saying, it seems that asking K.K. to play Free Bird is an overly narrow in-joke that would only make sense if someone tried said action in one of the games and/or it's a well-known meme that's documented in videos or images. But I find no mention of the song or that particular "request" action in any of the sources listed. If the joke/reference doesn't work on its own (an uninitiated reader should automatically get it or be given enough explanation in the article to follow along), then leave it out. - "and he'll start playing it for you" --> Does this mean the song can be interrupted before it's done? That K.K. can start a song but not finish it sometimes? If he does always finish his songs, try "and he'll play it" instead. - "provided it's a track from his repertoire" --> This idea feels like it belongs earlier in the sentence, i.e. it should be clear that K.K. has a repertoire of playable songs, out of which the player can select one. - In the first paragraph, replace instances of "you" with "the player," "the main character," or similar so the bio stays objective rather than palsy and informal. - "and can only be played by special request" --> "and they can only be played by special request" (clarity) - "it can be presumed that" --> Try "it's presumed that" so you don't imply that players or Animal Crossing townsfolk have the potential to presume something about K.K. without speaking their thoughts. - "though it is quite likely that" --> Again, don't make the bio sound like a guessing game at what K.K. may or may not do in his non-music-playing time. You already say little is known about his past; don't go overboard. - "his library already consists of" --> Cut "already." You're implying the speed at which he gathered a set number of songs matters for some reason. It's admirable that you're working on this so fast and persistently. Don't burn out now.

Looks good to me. Thanks for patiently improving Teddie's bio, FenixDown. He now joins the ranks of finished works in the OCR Wiki.

You're almost there. - I agree with Dafydd that the present tense works better in the first sentence ("leads" instead of "led"). - "Soon, Teddie meets Yu Narukami (the silent protagonist) and two of his classmates who stumbled across the strange realm..." --> This sounds like Yu's classmates are the only ones who entered the TV World. It could use a little clarity, like: "He meets three humans, Yu Narukami (the silent protagonist) and two of his classmates, who stumble across..." You don't need to keep the word "Soon" because there's no definite past event to compare to in this draft; saying "He" instead of "Teddie" at the start of the second sentence works because the reader already knows the name of the established character; and say "stumble" instead of "stumbled" to maintain the present tense. - "After Teddie accuses them of being responsible for the recent killings..." --> Without a little context, it sounds like Teddie's throwing an instant accusation without even circumstantial evidence. If the bio makes it clear that he at least knows about the deaths in the TV World, he would have a reason to place blame on the Investigation Team. - "The Investigation Team" --> "the Investigation Team" (I don't see why "the" should be capitalized before Investigation Team) - "...strengths and weaknesses, and keeping tabs..." --> "...strengths and weaknesses and by keeping tabs..." (smoother flow) - "After Teddie is confronted by his Shadow" --> "After Teddie confronts his Shadow" (active voice preferred)

Hello, FenixDown. Here's what I have to say about Teddie's bio... - "A mysterious bear..." --> This doesn't match the description you give in the second paragraph (an appearance of a cartoonish bear, not an actual bear). You can instead start with "An inhabitant of the TV World..." or similar and leave Teddie's appearance for the 2nd paragraph. - "carried on with his solitary existence in peace" --> Poetic, but you can write it in fewer words. - In the 1st sentence, you say: "...who inhabits the TV World, Teddie..." and "...into Teddie's world..." You want to keep each subject's mention separated enough to allow proper focus and pacing. For example, you can bring up the TV World first, then Teddie living out his life there, then the people being tossed into said world (or "area" or "space" or similar, not "Teddie's world" or "the TV World") in order to avoid repetition. - I think you should leave out the names Yosuke Hanamura and Chie Satonaka and instead say "Yu Narukami and his Investigation Team" for two reasons: 1) it makes it easier for the reader to concentrate on the mascot and his story without having to worry about so many other names, especially if they don't get mentioned again in the article, and 2) that's not the extent of the Investigation Team (more allies get added later), and the team itself (the cohesion) is what matters. - "who fell into the TV World" --> Again, a touch repetitive. It would flow more smoothly via: "Teddie meets a few of these wayward humans" (or some other way to let the reader know where they come from without spelling it out more often than necessary). - "...and after a series of events, befriends them." --> If you're not describing these "events" for simplicity's sake (or to avoid spoilers), that's fine. The current wording just makes it too generalized, like "the main character appears" or "the story progresses and then this happens" or "after more events, the story ends." It would help if you give readers a flavor of what these events are like or how they started (e.g. did a misunderstanding set things off? This could come out as, say, "after a bit of misunderstanding") to keep your writing lively while avoiding spoilers. - "After awakening to his persona, Kintoki Douji..." --> Persona (capital P), Kintoki-Douji (hyphen) (according to your sources) - The 3rd paragraph (which is just one sentence) looks like it would better fit within the 1st paragraph, which focuses on the main story/background info. - I think somewhere in the 1st paragraph you'll have to mention that it's the events of Persona 4 (maybe before Yu's brought up as the protagonist), since your last paragraph suddenly jumps to a new game. You've made a strong start introducing the character and the mystery surrounding him/it. I'm also intrigued by the setting, even though I'm unfamiliar with the game/series. Please do your best to address the issues above, including avoiding repetition and maintaining focus, to make it stronger.

Meat Boy's bio has been Wiki'ed in full. Now I'll try my hand at PaRappa (the Rapper).

Meat Boy Article by: Polo Pictured from: Super Meat Boy Created by: Edmund McMillen, Jonathan McEntee First appearance: 2008 Bio What began as an original Flash-based platformer on Newgrounds quickly morphed into a cult hit. Like Alien Hominid before it, Meat Boy garnered such positive reception that it got upgraded to a console game and more. The Meat Boy titles are renowned for their many quirks, including a difficulty level reminiscent of classic platformers, a slew of unlockable characters from other indie games, and music composed by Danny Baranowsky. At the meat of it all stands the red, raw hunk himself, Meat Boy. When his lover, Bandage Girl, gets kidnapped by the middle finger-flipping Dr. Fetus, Meat Boy sets off on a chase across several worlds to get her back. He moves through levels mainly by running, jumping, and wall-jumping, all the while leaving a trail of slop on every surface he touches. Being what he is, Meat Boy must avoid instant-murder hazards such as saw blades, fire, homing missiles, lava, and salt. Every time he catches up to Bandage Girl, Dr. Fetus swoops in and carries her farther away, and more of the characters' nonverbal hijinks (and facial expressions) come out in cutscenes. No matter the danger, the sweet and tender Meat Boy risks life and limb to rescue Bandage Girl, for what he lacks in skin, he makes up for in guts. Selected game appearances === Windows === Meat Boy ( 2008 ) === Xbox 360 === Super Meat Boy (2010) ilomilo (2010) Retro City Rampage (2012) === Wii === Bit.Trip Runner (2010) Bit.Trip Fate (2010) References Wikipedia - "Super Meat Boy" Super Meat Boy Wiki - "Meat Boy" TV Tropes - "Meat Boy" Gamasutra - "Features - Postmortem: Team Meat's Super Meat Boy by Edmund McMillen and Tommy Refenes"

We already have Ryu Hayabusa as a mascot. 1) Shantae 2) Vyse (Skies of Arcadia) 3) Marth (Fire Emblem)

All righty. I'll put my Q*bert bio on hold while I take care of Meat Boy. And thanks for listing which game each mascot image is from. This saves us some key legwork. Hi Rexy. Here's some pointers for your Crash Bandicoot bio: - Does British English prefer the singular "videogame" over the two-worded "video game"? Just curious. - "with a team of just 8 people" --> Nitpicky, but I don't think the number of people is important here. Simply saying the company Naughty Dog was "then-unknown" should suffice. - "A reject from Dr Neo Cortex's globe-dominating mutant army, Crash's various game appearances typically consist of..." --> There's some subject disagreement here via the separate clauses - it's like you're saying Crash's game appearances, not Crash himself, were the reject from Neo Cortex's army. It would help if you said, for example, "A reject from [...], Crash typically sets out to stop..." - "there had also been rare instances of them working together" --> In addition to Dafydd suggesting "have" over "had," I'd suggest cutting "also," since the sentence would function fine without a subtle hint of redundancy (you start the sentence with "In spite of," so what follows is intuitively different). A common foe "opposing" both of them? - "into-the-screen game design" --> Meaning what, exactly? Does Crash break the 4th wall and/or "jump" at the player at the intro screen? - I agree that the "technical achievements" of the games don't need as much focus as the character. Unless the a capella score set a precedent in the Crash games or had some other noteworthy, lasting effect on them, I think that detail should be left out. - What exactly inspired the joke character Fake Crash? The Japanese reception to the games? His Japanese following? Your long sentence - broken up by the info between dashes just like this - doesn't make it clear. - Funny YouTube video, but if you want to reference a meme/overseas craze in your reference list, the PDF file explaining the changes for the Japanese games is source enough - we discourage YouTube videos because the comments section and related videos don't guarantee consistency in delivering what you want to share about the mascot. I told Mirby that references stress reading over watching. - "which stemmed his namesake" --> Sounds a little odd; I'd say "solidified" his namesake, personally. - "but eventually learnt new tricks over time" --> "but HE eventually learnt new tricks..." (otherwise it sounds like his jump and a spin attack learned new tricks, not Crash) - "Outside of his adventuring time, he'd spend his time" --> Yeah, present tense sounds better here, like, "Outside of his adventures, he spends his time..." Saying "would" implies what he's inclined to do, but the tense of habitual/ongoing action leaves no doubt that he DOES do other things, rather than leaving it open like with "might" or something. (Also, "time" twice in the same sentence, close together, is a little iffy.) - "or just spending time with" --> Again, redundant iteration. About this - are Crash's escapades wildly different in each game? How does Neo Cortex try to take over the world? How does Coco fit into her brother's adventures? And are all the boxes there only for Crash to, well, crash into them? Just some stuff to consider. Keep going. You seem really fine-tuned to the bandicoot's legacy.

So instead of djp posting the mascot images first and having us write the bios second, it's the other way around? I think we need some clear guidelines in the first post or the FAQ, like: - Your character cannot be from a game/series that Square-Enix developed or published (or claimed ownership of). - Your character MUST have a clear, high-resolution pic (250x250 or higher) that shows their full body (no cutoff) somewhere on the internet. You must link to it before you can write about your pick. - (For now,) your character image must be official game art that appears in instruction manuals or promotional materials. Fan art is (temporarily) off-limits until we work out a plan for implementing it. (This'll help us with the "Pictured from: [Game]" lines.) In any case, I call Q*bert's bio. I probably won't finish it quickly as I'm kinda swamped with college work right now.

I'll just leave these here: Blue Tap Runner Q*bert: this or this, maybe? You still up for the community nomination + voting rounds like last time? You can upload the mascots you want first (Super Meat Boy and co.) and let others offer their suggestions. Or would you prefer we (or I) choose a set number of nominees (10 or so?) from the last few pages of this thread and post high-res art for you to pick and choose from?

Holy crap the beat in this is infectious. Let's see... You got serious backers like punchy drums, a low shredding guitar, choral/orchestral synths, and what sound like pseudo-gunshots. A number of these swell or are modulated during set spaces, like the latter part of a movement or bar, in order to create emphatic "sit up and take notice" moments, often strung together to bring out the full force of part of the source. Take 0:53-1:15, for example. This chunk, IMO, is what lifts the mix off the ground, sounding suspenseful, Goldeneye-ish, and driving all at once, but still manages to pile on the power and aggression before it's done. You can imagine how I feel about related movements later on (especially 3:38+ with its key change). 2:18+ not only offers a pleasant bell/chime counterbalance to the surrounding potency, but it also eases into TWO MORE attention-grabbing points, one after another: the silent fraction of a second acts as a "wait, wha-" dip in the music, then the Chozo Ruins theme emerges triumphantly with a posse of (aforementioned) hardcore supporters. I can't get enough of this. Well, well played. *claps*

Despite the intro sounding relatively subdued, the vibe packs a feeling of "this is not going to be an easy or straightforward battle." Places like 1:06 and 1:15 sound neat the way the lead plays the first source tune in a higher/more liberal key. Then, after the reverse cymbal at 1:20-1:22, the soundscape encompasses an increasingly chaotic whirlwind battle of PSI powers. For some reason, the background "voices" at 2:18/2:19 make me imagine a schoolyard bully scene, like the victim's having something stolen or is saying something to the effect of "knock it off!" Sweet transition to the afterglow - it's like the Guardian has faded into nothingness in a major way AND the Sanctuary it's guarded can finally show itself in its full glory. (That, of course, is detailed in the emerging bounty of more sound effects and synths.) Not sure what to feel about that "welcome to your sanctuary" sample. I do like how, when it makes its entrance, it livens up the beat like the other synths, and from a narrative viewpoint, its prominence at the end is like Ness becoming fully conscious of the sanctuary's message following a boss fight. But when it's exposed, it sounds unevenly piercing when it pronounces "sanctuary" from the distortion or whatever that's still coating it. I guess I kind of expect it to sound more humanized. Crafty storytelling mix nonetheless.

Those opening synths are... buffed up? static-shaky? brushed with a comb? Whatever. They're kinda goofy-sounding on their own. The titular ROBO voice kinda bleeds and overpowers the synthwork, but the lyrics are, of course, enticing and worth a chuckle. I really crack up at "man" after the "mega" spam - it hurriedly quiets down like the voice is too embarrassed to finish saying "Mega Man." Oh, you. Ending is PERFECT. First, the fanboy lyrics do a total 180 as the singer realizes the blue bomber succumbed to sequelitis. Then, the final words and the fadeout (during a verse, no less) reflect the rage quit mentality. (Or, you know, maybe the fact that Flash Man's stage music has been played twice with pretty much no changeups is a greater contributor to the robo's "I am getting sick of this" tidbit.)

Assuming the blue Tap Runner is still on djp's to-do list and will be added eventually, I suggest the following to help fill out the X-tinged void... [EDIT] individual: Cave Story - Quote (2 games [on the Wii as well as Windows], 6 mixes [1 listed under both games]) Dizzy series - Dizzy (the egg) (1 game, 1 mix) Duke Nukem (1 game, 1 mix) Fire Emblem - Marth or Roy (2 games, 2 mixes for Marth; 1 game, 1 mix for Roy) Golden Axe - Tyris Flare or Gilius Thunderhead (3 games, 4 mixes [2 listed under 2 games]) Maniac Mansion/Day of the Tentacle - Bernard (2 games, 4 mixes) Mortal Kombat - Liu Kang or Shang Tsung (3 games, 1 mix listed under all 3) Shantae (1 mix, 1 game) Streets of Rage - Axel Stone or Blaze Fielding (3 games, 20 mixes [1 listed under 2 games]) Ys - Adol Christin (1 game, 1 mix) as a group: Banjo-Kazooie - Banjo and Kazooie (1 game, 3 mixes) Battletoads (3 games, 4 mixes) Cheetahmen (1 game, 2 mixes) Double Dragon - Billy and Jimmy Lee (6 games, 9 mixes) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (3 games, 10 mixes) I'm okay with the following from last time: Contra - Bill Rizer (2 games, 5 mixes) Legend of the Mystical Ninja - Goemon (2 games, 5 mixes) Q*bert (1 game, 1 mix) Rygar (1 game, 5 mixes) I would also like to withdraw my nomination for Luna from the Lunar series (I remembered we already have Nall representing those games) and replace her with Master Chief from the Halo series (2 games, 7 mixes). [/EDIT] (also, Dafydd, it's particularly, not particularily. )

Actually, I think it's because it wasn't in the database when I first checked the versions of Fallout 3 to link in VB's bio. But you brought it to my attention, so it's been added. Thanks. If those different-console games are in OCR's database, we add 'em in with a link, but in cases where those game pages list no mixes, we add "no ReMixes in database" at the bottom. Yeah, I admit that little ¹ is kinda hard to spot, but I'm not sure what other punctuation mark would serve as a footnote reminder in the OCRWiki; an asterisk * is out of the question because it marks a bullet point for a game listing, so I used ¹ as an alternative.

Is Metal Monkey from Secret of Monkey Island (the mix page and review thread's 1st post say so) or Escape from Monkey Island (like the review thread's overt title and the file name in the latest torrent)? I see the latter in OCR's database, but no listed mixes.

I remember the first time I listened to this I thoroughly danced in my seat. That alone makes this a legacy mix for me. And it's no wonder... Metal/tin-like percussion is punctuated by drawn-out cymbals/hi-hats - this fires up my imagination with lots of shiny, golden imagery (like Robo's figure ). Fluffy air drums, rubbery punctuators, and 8-bit crunchiness only add to the contagious flood of energy. Best of all, that swishy/watery modulated voice is clear and expressive throughout. Lyrics are a treat. Robo's vulnerability and uncertainty are expressed via "Please don't reprogram me / My memories and thoughts are all I have left; am I malfunctioning?" Love the hilarious "take that" with "Won't you pick me instead of that (F)rog?" And I can FEEL his selflessness and extent of accomplishments with "just look and see this forest I made for you" - I picture him spreading his robotic arms in a visual encompassment, in turn making me awestruck with his 400-year-long dedication. Whew. The eponymous singing robot says his kind can be "for evil or good" - I say they're best at getting one's groove on. Rock on, R-66Y. Rock on.

This mix = "super smooth joyride in the hovercraft in the desert." That is all.

I'm lovin' every second of this. In particular: - the screechy electronica synthwork at 0:11 (I don't care if others hate it - I think it has character that supplements the atmosphere) - the joyfully clashing/crashing drums at 1:17 - 1:27 - that sonic boom-ish "air wave" or whatever at 1:46 - 1:53 (makes me think of an air show) If only this didn't have a cutoff ending. *shrug* Oh well. Replay button ahoy!

I can just barely track the melodic similarities between the staccato intro here and the source's equivalent (the Jojo part of Jojo and the God Dragons) - what a devious changeup to the notational placement. There's even a smidge of choir in there, if you listen closely. The faster sections catch me off-guard (the 2nd one moreso) if I focus on those cross-panned square waves (?) that precede them (yes, they do resemble the "dropping a key down a well" sound in FF4). 1:39+ takes on a pensive air thanks to the addition of the bass synth. It's easier to focus on the drums here because they're not as buried, and I can appreciate the 2:02 flourish. Very skybound.

I like how the distinct melodies recur at different times and in different forms, alternating and mixing like they're old friends. To break it down somewhat, they're played by: - the introing crystal-light synth (0:04) - the chewy overhanger at 1:20 that marks every beat niche, then gains a soundalike ally playing fewer notes at 1:57 (and still another at 2:19 and 2:56) - the bass that makes a subtle appearance at 1:49 but hands the reins to the guitar (most prominent at 3:28+) Gotta love the heavy sounds employed, but my personal favorite in-your-face show-offs are the phat bass+percussive slap combos around 0:57 - 1:04 and the percussive hits at 1:55 and 1:56 (seriously, these players mean more business than usual). I also like how the whirly ghost sounds kinda reverberate to the beat (lovely little touch). Definitely delish.

Such gossamer transitions and instruments. Such a measured pace. Such star-studded awesomeness. As for the individual highlights: - When things pick up with the duo additions of the "clapping" drumwork and the Naruto ninja flute (1:02+ and 3:47+), the mix tells me, "you better prepare yourself for a revolution. Sacrifices will be made, etc." Both times follow through, first with its "lightning in a bottle" potency and second with its "we made it through!" trailing vibe. - In the frantic section (1:21+), the volume modulation (general and individual) makes things sound a bit muddled at times, but it also invites/stimulates my imagining of the tension and activity going on here. - After the rapid OMGWTFBBQ panoply at 1:59, its conclusive note is drawn out long enough to evaporate into a conservative, same-key aftermath that would sound abrupt in less skilled hands. - That gentle foray at 2:57 - 3:06 is the cream of recuperation in an atmosphere already populated by silky sounds. <3 <3 <3 And somewhat unrelated, but the vocals make me think of the choir used in the Dancing Mad source tunes, especially when closing out the mix. Cuz y'know - boss music, FF6, grandiloquent presentation... feels natural.

To me, this sounds more like a bonus extension of the intro space + base level than the computer room. It's mostly due to the space warp-ish-ness/rapidity of some of the players, i.e. the chewy, alien, fluctuating bass and those blindingly quick triplets/quadruplets that replace single notes from the source (interspersed throughout). Some supporting synths, though buried at times, offer some fitting countermelodic bridges like the ones at 0:39+ and 1:08+. I would like to hear just those countermelodies by themselves (minus the source usage), or perhaps another detour like 1:33 - 1:46 (or at least the directions it wants to take). The Guardian's in for an acceleratingly bumpy ride with this mix.

Sunny vibe + punchy beat = YES. Love this mood changeup to the delicately holy feel of the source. I can easily picture that angel avatar jammin' with his (its?) own kind, sayin', "screw your petty development hurdles, it's time to ROCK!" The screechy synths at 0:19 and elsewhere (1st and 3rd bars, then 2nd bar) aren't my cup of tea, but their varied placements keep them from getting too irksome. Plus there's that goofy "dope puh-duh-dope" vocal quip, which I guess acts as a buffer/tradeoff to them. The way the melody kinda "slurs" its way up the scale along its route of homage (0:48 - 0:55 and later) feels like it trades finesse for groove. I could go either way on that - sometimes I groove along, sometimes I think it's a bit lazy, but at the end of the day I view it as an integral section that you can't throw away (cuz it works). On the whole, listening to this lifts my spirits. Can't go wrong there.