I never heard the first version, so I'm coming in clean. Dunno what it was previously lacking, but it's cohesive enough to me right now.
At :13, the supporting guitar feels so quiet relative to the lead and drums, and the bassline's not cutting through as well as it should. That said, the overall presentation's cool for sure and I'm digging the arrangement. Didn't need the SFX at 1:24, but it's something there to add lil' herbs and spices, so I'll live. From 1:25-1:49, the drums feel like a plodding drag on this and the mallet perc's so quiet that it's effectively not contributing much, really from 1:37-1:49. Anyway, it's a brief thing and not enough to pull this below the line.
To me, this is getting more right than wrong, and it's really just some mixing issues that are undermining this to some extent. Is it anything making me say hold this back though? Naw. The mixing could stand to be tweaked so that the guitars don't sound so distant, and the drums should have been more interesting in places (2:38-3:01 was another plodding area as well, both the drums and also the mallet timing), but the overall instrumentation, energy, and performances are excellent. :-) If this somehow doesn't make it as is, it's still got a spot here waiting for it, so stay in a positive mindset. Nice job, folks!
YES