Jump to content

Archaon

Members
  • Posts

    1,081
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Archaon

  1. It's doable, yeah, but it's far from ideal. Ever tried doing a 360 motion with WASD? Unless your opponent's willing to just stand in one place and wait while you jump around like a jackass, forget it.
  2. I'd probably be more pleased if there was any conceivable way to effectively play a game like this using a keyboard. (Yes yes, PC joypads exist, but I'm a cheap bastard.)
  3. 52 dollars, Buy it Now option, actual store, free shipping. Move fast.
  4. Oh no. Could it be? I'M DE HEEROOOOOOOOOOOO EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, Darun Mister from the EX series might fit the bill there. However, to the best of my knowledge, those characters were created by Arika and Capcom doesn't have the rights to them. If they do, I say to hell with Darun; bring back Garuda. And SKULLOMANIAAAAAA.
  5. Archaon

    Bayonetta

    Oh, cool. I'm not the only one who likes to eat dinner while playing videogames.
  6. Archaon

    Bayonetta

    I think that makes sense. "Easy" mode shouldn't mean "slightly less difficult"; it should mean easy. Therefore, if you're going to have an "easier than easy" mode, it should be something that someone with brain damage and no hands could feasibly beat.
  7. Zoodles? EDIT: Apparently Zoodles actually exist. What do you know?
  8. Oh. OH. And I suppose we'll just assume that everyone on the forum is American, shall we? ...and I suppose we'll just assume that Mephisto isn't lying about his location SHUT UP DARKESWORD GOD WHY MUST YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.
  9. Kirby Motherfucking Super Star. Terranigma and Earthbound are supposed to be good, but I've never really had the chance to get into them. Same with Secret of Mana. Contra III. Super Punch-Out. Link to the Past. Not going to recommend Super Metroid because I actually didn't like it much, but I'm sure someone will.
  10. I think it's a bit of a stretch to say that Bambi is pro-hunting. In fact, I think it's a LOT of a stretch. That is stretching on the level of Goatse. There's hunting in the movie, yes, but considering the whole story is told from the perspective of the cute little talking animals, and humans are made out to be shadowy, inscrutable horrors, I wouldn't really call that an advocation. Audiences were not yelling "HELL YES HUNTING" when Bambi's mother got shot. Granted, I suppose you could argue that being portrayed as fear and death incarnate is pretty awesome.
  11. Right. If I'd spent five more seconds watching the video I would have seen that, then I'd have realised something was wrong and not posted the thread. Or I'd have posted it pretending that it was real when I knew it wasn't. EITHER WAY I'D HAVE SAVED MYSELF A LOT OF EMBARRASSMENT REALLY. Still, as far as the first video goes, it's not a bad hoax. EDIT: You know, on second thought, this would have been a lot more entertaining if I'd just rolled with it and continued to act like it was genuine. Remind me not to make any more threads at five in the morning.
  12. OK, never mind. I'd only watched about one and a tenth of the videos when I posted this, but upon further investigation, this is completely fake. MY BAD I GUESS.
  13. I don't know if this is old news to most people or not, but I stumbled across something interesting today. Apparently, there was a rehashed version of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 created for the Sega CD 32X. It was never officially released, but by exploiting some inside connections, one guy was able to get a hold of it and created a Let's Play. First of all, that's pretty awesome. There are various FMV scenes sprinkled throughout the game, and from the looks of it, you can unlock Knuckles and Amy Rose as playable characters. I had no idea this existed. However, while watching the videos, I noticed something else. Here, the LPer goes through the Chemical Plant zone. Listen to the BGM carefully. Sound familiar? Am I completely out of the loop here or have there been some shenanigans going on?
  14. The reason behind it is very simple. Shiggy wanna break your head.
  15. Yeah, but to be fair, she was in the final stages of pregnancy.
  16. Damn it, guys. Couldn't you at least have kept Flash Man vs. Slash Man? That amused me. Flash and Slash. Like, indecent exposure followed by aggravated assault. That is totally the term they'd use for that if it happened regularly enough. "There's been a flash 'n slash on 5th Street, sarge." Luke and Willrock had better end up in the finals.
  17. Derrit. DERRIT. THREADS ABOUT MOVIES GO IN COMMUNITY DERRIT. THEY GO IN COMMUNITY.
  18. Well, yes. Kind of makes you wonder what thought processes lead them to say "Hey, I bet this gruesome story produced by a warped and monstrous mind will make a great basis for a children's classic." Presumably the same kind of thought processes that lead people like me to say "Hey, I bet this children's classic will make a great basis for a gruesome story produced by a warped mind." Except, you know, backwards. As a sidenote, I did consider Googling my original observation to see if anyone else had already written about it, but for the life of me I couldn't think of a search query to use other than "disney snow white gang rape". That would have been asking, nay, begging for trouble. You fool. He never left.
  19. Well, since The Damned is a big jerk who decided to RUIN THIS for me by pointing out that I'm not the first one to notice it, (to be honest, the movie's been out for over seventy years now so I didn't really think I was, but Christ man why don't you rub it in my face) here's another, decidedly less artistic observation for you. You know when Snow White eats the apple and dies? Totally sounds like she's having an orgasm and trying to keep quiet about it. "Oh, I feel strange..." followed by several seconds of subdued and thoroughly undistressed moaning and gasping? I don't know what a fatal poisoning sounds like, but I'm pretty sure that isn't it.
  20. Well excuse me, The Damned. I don't think I even knew what rape was fifteen years ago, so presumably you are either OLD or had a very troubled childhood. OLDIE.
  21. I was reminiscing about some of the movies I grew up on today, and my wandering thoughts eventually drifted towards Disney's adaptation of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. At first it was just the usual pedantic grumbling about how the movie should obviously have been called "Snow White and the Seven Gnomes." I mean, look at those so-called "dwarves." The resemblance to classic garden gnomes is blatant, but as if that wasn't enough, they don't drink a single drop of ale, none of them have names with "Axe", "Beard", "Iron" or "Hammer" in them, and they're obnoxiously endearing and cheery rather than being surly as shit. Granted, Grumpy is an exception to that last one, but even he is worn down in the end by Snow White's relentless optimism and cute little pecks (seriously, the "dwarves" in that movie get more action than the fucking prince does) and eventually starts to become as twee as the rest of them. Then I recalled the forest scene. You know, after the hunter decides that cutting a little girl's goddamned heart out is just a tad too extreme for him and she goes running into the darkness to hide...although anyone paying attention should notice that it was obviosly morning not two friggin' seconds ago, so we never really know why it got gloomy all of a sudden or what she's so afraid of. In any case, while those sixty seconds of hellish madness were probably pretty shocking at the time, it doesn't really raise any eyebrows now. At this point we're all well aware of Disney's sadistic tendency to throw horrendous, nightmare-inducing scenes into otherwise light-hearted films. (See also; pink elephants, Mufasa's screaming death, etc.) When I thought more about it, though, it began to dawn on me exactly what that scene resembled, whether it was intentional or not. It's a friggin' gang rape. Just look at the parallels. A pure, innocent young lady, without thinking, enters a dark, unfamiliar area, and all of a sudden she's being grabbed, pulled and leered at by everything around her. Branches transform into hands and make a spirited attempt to pull her dress off. She stumbles into a dead tree that tries to forcefully restrain her and, if you look closely, actually cops a feel of her ass. She falls into a pond and gets chased by phallic alligator logs. All this time she's screaming and gasping in sheer terror. Then at the climax of the scene, there are evil-looking faces and hands utterly surrounding her, descending on her from every conceivable angle, and when it's finally over, she collapses to the ground in a broken, whimpering wreck. What the fuck, Disney. Looking at the symbolism of that scene, the film could easily take on a much darker edge. Perhaps Snow White's desire to be swept off her feet by Prince Charming stems not from some childish, romantic fantasy, but a need to feel genuine warmth and affection after such a sudden and savage loss of innocence. Perhaps that's why she's so desperate for love that she immediately jumps the bones of some guy who apparently has no issues with wandering around making out with dead chicks. Also, she's officially fourteen. Jesus, dude. Of course my theory is shot down somewhat by those deus ex machina woodland creatures immediately crawling out of the woodwork to make everything better and participate in a perky musical number, but still. It's always fun to put a dark spin on something that's aimed at kids. Just look at what I've been saying I'd do with the Pokémon franchise if I got my all-corrupting hands on it. Tell me that wouldn't be awesome. (BUT NOT YOU EULOGIC YOU MISERABLE KILLJOY)
  22. Archaon

    S.s.h

    I'm going to go against the grain here and say that I actually don't enjoy his tracks all that much. There are a couple that I do like, but for the most part they're all too noisy and fast-paced and...I don't know, samey for my taste. I listen for more than a couple of minutes and it just devolves in my head to a chaotic mishmash of artificial-sounding guitars. Particularly so with his Guilty Gear remixes. Just...no. I'll stick with the originals, thanks.
×
×
  • Create New...