SMW - Ghost House (August 27th update!)

[Chernabogue]

Everything is in the title!

Link to the well-known source : SMW - Ghost House

Well, it's my first try at "electronic" music (I don't know if I can say it's electro or something else, like techno) so I need some good advises! This is just a first test, the track is far of being finished!

Feedback will be greatly appreciated! =)

V6 (synth change at the end)

V5

Archives

V1

V2

V3

V4

[UmJammerSully]

I'm not super at this whole feedback thing so I doubt anything I say will be too helpful, but there's no harm in trying. I'll just say whatever comes to mind as I'm listening.

Interesting, very different from the source material's start. Much less haunting and more ambient I'd say. I like the gradual transition into the main theme as it gets creepier and creepier, nice touch. Very "alien" sounding by the end, not sure any other way to describe it but it's pretty cool. Can't think of anything particular negative to say, but I am pretty easily pleased.

[Chernabogue]

Okay, I expended a little the track but it is not finished yet!

Feedback will be greatly appreciated!

[hewhoisiam]

Standard disclaimer: These are all my opinions, etc, etc, etc.

I defiantly like the feel of this track.

I could see a few minor tweaks going a long way, volume for one, helping with the transitions. Another thing I like doing (though I may be in the minority here) is to put a pan automation on any kind of creepy pad sound. It feels like it's going left/right/left/right and adds to that eh. Paranoid feel I guess you'd say.

Also all the ambient sounds get sort of muddy in places, some EQ would help. At least I think, I'm not that great at mastering.

The entire track feels like it could do with some low end sounds. Maybe it's just me though, been listening to DnB material to get some ideas recently so

I'm not a huge fan of the buzzing synth lead near the end. Just don't feel the sound meshes very well with the whole ambient thing you've got going on.

[Cerrax]

Well I do have to say I enjoy the atmosphere you have in this piece. Almost sounds like some Dave Wise DKC-ish ambience.

The piano is a good choice, but it is too loud and isn't humanized at all. Also, it sounds out of key and off rhythm.

Good start with the drums, but I feel like you need more drums than what you have right now.

The buzzing synth at the end is cool, but it's too loud.

Honestly though, I'm not hearing enough of the source. It's got some excellent ideas, but if not for the piano playing the melody almost verbatim, I wouldn't even know this was a SMW song.

The beginning is pretty good though. Like I said, great atmosphere, but maybe try to incorporate some of the elements a little earlier in the mix and build it into to something. You're introducing some of the best pieces of the song at the very end!

[Emunator]

You're off to a nice start here, the atmosphere is REALLY cool, like everyone else said. My biggest qualm right now is that you hit a lot of repeat piano notes in a row without any noticeable velocity changes, which makes the piano playing sound really robotic. Humanize that I'll also echo the concern that the drums are simply weak here. I've heard your work before and I know you're capable of more

Good start though, I've got my eye on this one!

[Chernabogue]

New version of the track! I tried to make the instruments more humanized and added a new faster part at the end!

Feedback will be very appreciated! =)

[hewhoisiam]

I like the idea for a quick change up at the end, but some of the ideas at the beginning aren't really suited to the new tempo. One of the things that's going to be fine there is the piano, but some of the ambiance and some of the other things that had such a great sound at the beginning are messed up by the speed at the end.

One thing you can do that may help the sound to not be so muddy at that speed is put an automation on the heavily ambient tracks that turns down the decay and sustain. It'll change the sound of your instruments there and my help them not blend together so much, which is what I'm hearing that I don't like there.

There is that buzzy synth again that I don't like about halfway into this. However, it's a matter of opinion on my part. Before you mess with it, you'll prolly want to get a 2nd and 3rd and 4th opinion.

[Cyril the Wolf]

Okay, production wise, I'm not liking the way the low end is used here. The low end is more muddy than anything else... try using some gating or something becuase the tom(?) I think it is really muddy's everything and reverberates too much.

The faster section is cool, same issues that heiswhoiam said.

You have kick drum, but the kick has no low... GIVE THE KICK LOW PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Or not, your call, but I'm begging you.

I kinda like that buzzy synth, I wish it wasn't completely in my left ear though... ouch.

Cool ideas though.

[jabond23]

I don't know why i didn't notice you did this earlier! lol I'm enjoying it now though.

I can hear the source fairly well, yet this is its own entity. I agree that the kick could really use some low end boost cause it doesn't really stand out right now. I know the drums are supposed to be kinda in the background on this one, but still man. You are a great drummer and you can hear that in this remix. That higher synth that comes in towards the end is enjoyable also. The ending where everything kinda picks up rhythm is an interesting changeup. Doesn't last as long as i'd like though. But the whole point of this source is to be dark and i think you did a decent job on this remix.

[Chernabogue]

Here comes the 4th version, thank you all for the good feedback! =)

Not a lot of changes, just boosted the low/bass of the drums and changed a synth in the end.

As always, feedback will be greatly appreciated! =)

[No Escape]

Though not my style of music, this comp is impressive. The kick is not where it needs to be. I can't tell if it's phase issues from using too many effects, or if you mistakenly cut everything above 150 Hz. Try adding some 3 Khz to it and removing any delay or reverb. Remember, the low end sits between 40-100 Hz, the tonal quality is between 300-500 Hz, and the beater or "click" sit between 2-4 Khz. If you can fix that, I would say it's close to OCR ready.

[Blackwinged Saron]

I will have to disagree with a lot of what's been said. I like the high end sound. And I think it has a proportionally sound availability of the source material. You've taken a daring excursion with this piece and I think it will be appreciated. My only concern is the last about 30 seconds. It went off on a tangent, in my opinion, and i would suggest bringing it back in a little. Other than that, I can't see any major issues. I'm assuming there will be another couple versions before you submit, I will keep my eye on this one, I'd like to see what happens.

[Chernabogue]

New update, I think this time everything's good =)

What changed:

- re-work on drums (bass boost, etc.)

- SFX in the beginning to make it feel like I wanted

My main goal was to make this song feel haunted, like in a haunted mansion/ghost train in amusement parks. And of course to make it cool, even if it's my very first try at making electronic music!

Please tell me what you're thinking about it, before I put the thread under Mods review.

[Gario]

Never say 'final' - this one needs some touching up before it's a passable mix, imo. I like the arrangement and the atmosphere is great, but the production sounds stifled and hollow.

It's like you cut out the upper mids, which gives it a thin sounds throughout. If you did this on purpose, I'm letting you know it's disconcerting musically. Bring up some of your upper mids on the master track again (and/or turn down the lower mids & highs) so the sound is a bit more even.

The piano sounds pretty heavy in the mix. Lighten up on the bass on the sample's EQ, since it's causing clipping on the lower end (lower mids to the lows) when it comes in.

The panning is relatively well done, but I'd center the synth on the left a bit (perhaps 10-16 notches), since it's distracting to the ear.

I like the chiptunage, in there. Then again, I'm a chiptune sucker, so... um, yeah, always take that with a grain of salt, from me .

I agree with Tarnish that the last 1/6th of the track uses a strange assortment of synths. More importantly, though, those synths don't seem to cut it in the arrangement - you could change them to whatever instrument you want and they'd still sound off. Fix the arrangement at the end, there.

It seems like a lot of harsh criticism, but I see this as a potential winner, here. It's really quite close to OCR's standards, so keep at it (and don't forget about the Mod Review tab in your title ).

[Chernabogue]

Okay, I tried to change the synths at the end, sounds way better IMO.

Now I think I just need to change a little the piano loudness, as Gario said it. Maybe one more update and I'll change this to Mods Review, yay!

Feedback always appreciated! =)

[hewhoisiam]

k, lemme have a looksee at tis.

The atmosphere is really nice in this. I dig.

I can't really speak too much to panning with these broken headphones, but it sounds to me like the drums are all panned right. IMHO too extreme. I like the idea of the dancing around/moving panning thing, just has to be toned down some.

Admittedly, this isn't really my genre, so I'm not sure what else to say. The whole mix is very heavy in the low sounds, but then again, it really gives a creepy vibe if you've got good bass or subs. I don't see it as a problem, others may disagree.

The 'cracking' synths at the end don't work for me. In my mind, they're a repetitive addition. You've pretty much already got the low ends and those frequencies covered in the song. When you add something there, it has to have a new intent. I like the contrast here between the sounds and textures; but I don't know what to tell you to change it too...

Hope that helps

[Nutritious]

Maybe one more update and I'll change this to Mods Review, yay!

Preemptive strike!

It took a while before I heard anything I recognized from the source (though i don't have it in front of me at the moment). Actually, the only overt parts I heard were at 1:16 - 1:35, 2:04 - 2:23, 2:31 - 2:44 = 51 seconds out of a 3:30 track. So arrangement-wise, that's a big issue.

I'm assuming it was intentional (I haven't read the thread), but the treatment of the second half of the OST melody phrase feels awkward when it comes in on the first beat, rather than the second.

Sounded like parts were playing in different keys and/or chord progressions which gave it a jumbled feel. Definitely need to try and bring these parts together to a cohesive whole as they feel pasted on - especially when the melody comes in over the backing parts.

On the production side, many of the synths were generic sounding and the balance needs some work to give the various elements clarity.

I hate to be a downer on any track and I definitely don't want to discourage you. I say just keep working on your mixing skills in all aspects. It may be a good idea to let this track sit for a while and try some new things - learn more about mixing and just get more experience under your belt. Hope this helps.