Yeah i can't really add much to what emunator said, i think one of the fundament issues here is the lack of quantisation. Someimes over quantisation can really make things sound robotic, but i think in this case it would really tidy things up, then you could tweek timings to give it a more human feel.
Also are you playing this in with a metronome, the drums especially sound far too relaxed.
Finally, yeah i reckon there's too much going on here, try stripping away some of the instruments which are just playing the counter melodies and other less important parts for now, so you can just focus on the main melody, then build the other parts gradually and gently around that.
Hope that helps, keep on remixing and try and use any advice you're given and you'll soon improve.