ad.mixx Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 (edited) I bet you've never heard one of these before! Yeah, so I've been working on this one for a while. It's not done, and since I'm kind of hitting a bit of a roadblock (in terms of writing out a good arrangement) at the moment I'd figure I'd at least post to see what kind of feedback I'll be getting anyways. I really wanted to explore more soundscapes in one song, so this has a lot more variety than my previous mixes. https://www.box.com/s/f8o3ykmicsis7nl96ekj source: Edited March 11, 2013 by urdailywater Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 This source sounds familiar... Aren't there parts of Schala's theme in here as well? Not gonna check, but you should mention that - especially when you sub. I expect you to sub this when it's done. Nice intro, and you find a groove quite quickly. Might wanna make that filtered backing lead a little less filtered, either by opening the filter or by using a lighter filter. You might wanna turn down the key sensitivity on it tho, the higher notes can get a bit loud. It ends up quite far in the background, way behind the bells and clock noises (a really cool idea, and works great here). Transition into the piano part is a bit abrupt. The sax and cello work okay, but you'd have to humanize them. Sound-wise they work well, tho sax+zeal sounds a bit... idunno, retro ocr? Trouble coming up with a next part? You know, remixes don't have to be terribly long. Just start writing a last chorus part and an ending. If it turns into something else, that works too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cortjezter Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 as usual, i don't have any technical critique; the production itself sounds fine to me. it started out really slick; was loving every second of it. the sax kind of lost me; but that's just personal opinion (the 80s kind of ruined that instrument for most practical purposes). perhaps a more mellow/smooth sounding instrument would work (clarinet/oboe/etc) with this kind of delicate piece? http://youtu.be/nzADbmJCL8o otherwise i totally dig it, and hope you keep on with it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinity Dragon Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Okay. Seriously. That's a really nice jazz-oriented piece. I like the intro, with the ticking clock, and then the trance vibe. Your stop-watch effect comes in a little late, I think. and that cello solo is too loud. Need to soften it up a little, same with the piano. But I absolutely love that saxophone! The transition out of the piano solo is really nice too. But unfortunately that's where it ends, and so must my critique end with it. But diggin that saxophone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ad.mixx Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 So this was quite a pain. I didn't give up though, and I think I finally ended it off pretty well. Hopefully. I feel like I lost inspiration for the ending of the track - I kept putting in ideas and throwing stuff away. But yeah, I think the arrangement is done now. May do a few things to it next update, but probably just touches. Still haven't humanized the sax or cello, but that's on my checklist. I rewrote the bass a little bit for the first part with the sax, but it kept the same movement pretty much. Also equalized the whistle to be less irritating, and the cello is softened up. Along with the piano. http://www.box.com/s/57xp66377r2k33tolrjh Any comment on arrangement though? That's the biggest thing I'm concerned about. Also that crystally sounding part is not schala, so that cello section is pretty much entirely original. Except for the harp movement. Yup, think I mentioned everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinity Dragon Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Ah! Much better. Not so hard on the ears as it was. But yeah, the arrangement is awesome. I love the trance-ish jazz style, and the sax. But I think if no one has commented on the arrangement, it might be okay to assume that you did a good job with it, especially if they forgo that to comment on the production issues. Speaking of which, the cello could go a little softer still, and the fade-in intro starts way too soft, methinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nonamer Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'm like the only person in here who has not played or heard the soundtrack to Chrono Trigger (I only know Frog and Robo's theme), but already I feel a nice "time" motif coming from this song. Sax is pretty nice. I would also like to add that you are one of the few people to use choral synths in a way that does not make me want to rip my hair. This better be on OCR soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ad.mixx Posted January 21, 2012 Author Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'm like the only person in here who has not played or heard the soundtrack to Chrono Trigger (I only know Frog and Robo's theme), but already I feel a nice "time" motif coming from this song.Sax is pretty nice. I would also like to add that you are one of the few people to use choral synths in a way that does not make me want to rip my hair. This better be on OCR soon. Nope. I've never played it either. Funny thing though, a friend of mine let me borrow the ds version like just today, so yeah. Thanks for the choral comment, I love choral synths because of metroid. Also might hear that influence ith.n the lead synth. Thanks for all the comments guys, I was actually afraid people wouldn't like it, but I was fortunatley wrong. Typed this from phone and its literally impossible to fix typos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ad.mixx Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 (edited) Ok, finally got another version in - I think this is close to being done (if not already done). Humanized things a bit - especially the cello by sliding the volume up / down on notes. Same with the saxphone. Also equalized the crystal sound a little bit to let some of the instruments have more room to breath, and fixed some of the whistle sounds. The song should be a lot smoother now. Filtered the piano out inside of the volume envelope. Changed up the bass so it's kind of doing it's own little thing for the fadeout, which I thought sounded cool. Also changed the automation on bringing the harp in to be a bit smoother like Trinity Dragon suggested (Hope that worked out). I think I mentioned everything. I really liked how this came out in the end. I wasn't really happy that I couldn't think of an ending, but I'm glad I kept working at it because I myself am really digging this song (At least more than I was) from just listening to it now. http://www.box.com/s/57xp66377r2k33tolrjh I'm gonna put this on mod review probably tonight. Maybe. Edited January 22, 2012 by urdailywater Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 Very lush and clear sound. I think you did a great job personalizing this often treaded theme. Nice clock! And nice touch how it turns into fingerclicks! I think you could use more rests in the sax notation. Or to say it another way, the notes could at many points be shorter, for a more "punctuating" sound, like staccato, that would work well with the melody I think. It could probably make the sax more natural too (though it's not bad as it is). The bit where you do have some rests sounds pretty nice, around 1:20. The piano break around the 2:00 minute mark functions well as a breath-gatherer. The bass end of the piano coming in at at 02:13, with the clock coming back at the same time, sounds really, really good. However, the chord writing sounded somewhat random to me. The one at 02:07 seemed to sit a bit badly with the rest of it to me. I think the chords could stand to be rewritten, to contain a musical passage of its own. It's not that bad as it is, but kind of a lost opportunity. The point at 02:13 is a good anchor point! Nice work overall, I thought you got something new out of the old warhorse. I agree with other posters that the crystals and choirs sound very good. --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geryon Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 mod rev: The sax is too loud. Shaker is a little on the loud side too, it might stand out a bit too much when the sax gets softer. 1:23 bells are quite loud too. Some bass notes clash, so check to see that the bass agrees with the rest of the harmony. The sax could be more human, have you humanized it yet? Whether you humanize with grace notes or the expression cc or the stops Eino suggested (or all of them), be careful not to overcomplicate it. Iit might be a good idea to experiment a little with a single part or even a copy of the track before the "real" humanization, just to figure out which method yields the best results for this sax patch and this melody. I'm a little concerned with the source usage, it might be a bit too conservative for ocr. Hard to say. When the other problems are solved, you should still sub it. ARRANGEMENT / INTERPRETATION - Too conservative - possibly PRODUCTION - Too loud - occasional instruments are - Unrealistic sequencing - sax needs humanization PERFORMANCE (live recorded audio/MIDI parts) - Wrong notes, general sloppiness - some bass notes seem to be in a different scale Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ad.mixx Posted December 17, 2012 Author Share Posted December 17, 2012 https://www.box.com/s/57xp66377r2k33tolrjh Right, right, right. So here's this song again. I just couldn't let it go by without trying it out once last time. I really want this arrangement to get passed onto OCR (it was already rejected by the panel), so I completely redid it up to my personal standards, and tried a few new things. It's a lot better, and honestly much, much better than I expected it. Maybe it could be a little louder or something, but right now I'm more focused on getting this saxophone right. I really want to get a saxophonist on this piece, and think I already have one lined up (but not entirely sure if they're still willing at the moment). Tell me what you guys think. I really like this song at the place it's at right now. There may be a few loudness or production issues atm, I haven't done a lot of EQ atm, but once that's done I feel like it'll be good to go (if I can get a good sax by then). Thanks for listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockos Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I didn't hear the first version, but as of right now this song is awesome. I'm not good at electronica so I can't help you. Still I really love the end. Good work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ad.mixx Posted December 17, 2012 Author Share Posted December 17, 2012 I added a youtube link to the first version for those curious to hear it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnWake Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I love how this sounds. The intro sounds pretty clean. The lead is a bit low but I guess that is intentional. The string note at 0:29 (E I believe) sounds a bit off to me. I'd take the classical sus approach there and play a D# after the E. From 0:33 on, the lead feels like it belongs to a completely different song. I can't explain exactly why it feels that way, but it doesn't really fit well with the rest of the instruments. Maybe it is the melody that it's playing. Sax is cool but I think it could use more articulation: vibrato, bending, whatever the hell your sample can handle! Change at 1:25 is cool. I like the flanger or whatever effect you used on the percussion. On the piano section beggining at 2:00 I feel you could make it sound better by changing the lowest note played. For example, at 2:04 the left hand plays a F#m but the lowest note is an A (I think), and it doesn't sound really powerful. I love how the rest of the band enters later. Overall, I really like the feeling of this. In some sections you could look into the tones you're playing more carefully since some melodies or chords are a bit unfitting in my opinion. Production seems pretty clean to me (a few times it is too loud but it doesn't really bother me). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majorjazzman Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 First off, awesome job! I really think the overall idea is very nice and mellow. In regards to a live performance I'd really like to give the sax part a go on my trumpet with a harmon in as I feel it would suit the song well and solve the lack of a live instrument. Let me know if you're interested to give it a shot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinity Dragon Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 The only thing I have to gripe about is the cello at the beginning. I think it gets too loud before it fades out again, and drowns out the synth. Otherwise, I'd say it's solid. Best of luck submitting it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I agree on the sax, although it already has vibrato. Perhaps some "hard" playing versus "soft" playing on the sax. i.e. hard/soft blows. I think the strings could be too loud after 1:40, because it's somewhat overpowering the percussion coming in at 1:40. You can still lower the amplitude/mix level and raise the "stacking intensity" (basically the volume knob), and then lower the velocities, and that should work out if done correctly. If you can get a new bass tone, that would be nice too, but that's just personal taste. Right now, it's missing some in the low mids and it has a bit much in the 30-60 Hz range. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skyline Drop Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I'm listening on laptop speakers, so I can't comment much on production, but I really like the arrangement. I think it was suggested earlier that you bring out that filtered lead a bit more at the start, and I feel like it could still stand to come out even more. The higher notes speak much louder than the lower ones, though, so make sure to check that, too. If the harmon-muted trumpet thing doesn't pan out, you might be able to make the sax a bit more believable with a few pitch bends ('scoops' so to speak) and a bit more vibrato on the longer notes. It's pretty good for what I assume is a soundfont, but you know how difficult to emulate solo winds are. I personally found the percussion a little bit lacking in terms of punch, dynamics, and part-writing, but there's enough going on otherwise that you don't really notice unless you're the type of guy who neurotically listens for that stuff. A lot of it seemed like straight-ahead patterns, and I'd like to see a little more development and variation in them - particularly after 2:29, which I feel is the climax of the piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argle Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 I really like this. I guess I could find things to criticize, but I really can't be arsed. Enjoy this tune. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melodious Punk Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I enjoyed this. I really like this tune and I WILL NEVER hear enough of it. The lead up to the piano solo was the only part that seemed meandering, which from my experience is the easiest thing that happens when jamming on this tune. Other than that, you did a great job of keeping momentum in the song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eino Keskitalo Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 My previous compliments apply. The solo piano section seems much more coherent now. It still has a sort of hesitant quality to it, which didn't detract from the piece musically. jnWake had good-sounding comments on improving it though. The only thing I have to gripe about is the cello at the beginning. I think it gets too loud before it fades out again, and drowns out the synth. I agree with this. I personally found the percussion a little bit lacking in terms of punch, dynamics, and part-writing, but there's enough going on otherwise that you don't really notice unless you're the type of guy who neurotically listens for that stuff. A lot of it seemed like straight-ahead patterns, and I'd like to see a little more development and variation in them - particularly after 2:29, which I feel is the climax of the piece. It sounds like a 90s style looped beat thing to me, which I don't have a problem with, but some more activity wouldn't probably hurt. But I have to say I thought the percussion in the quiet section starting at 01:39 was pretty stiff. Giving it a more humanized feel might work, but if you don't want to go that route, perhaps more processing/filtering, fading that stuff in/out would give it more interest. Some bass notes clash, so check to see that the bass agrees with the rest of the harmony. I think this is a serious problem with the arrangement, you have to bring some of those notes in line with the overall harmony of the piece. Fairly easy to fix though. The bassline and the idea you have about it is cool in itself, and I like its overall sound. I hope you can get a live player on this, it'd be cool to hear! Because that is in the possibilities, I didn't much concentrate on the current sax sound so no comments on it now. Oh, and the flanged shaker is <3 --Eino Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativemindframe Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I bet you've never heard one of these before!Yeah, so I've been working on this one for a while. It's not done, and since I'm kind of hitting a bit of a roadblock (in terms of writing out a good arrangement) at the moment I'd figure I'd at least post to see what kind of feedback I'll be getting anyways. I really wanted to explore more soundscapes in one song, so this has a lot more variety than my previous mixes. The cello comes in a bit loud, I'd fix it and reupload but atm my flp is kind of screwed up from me trying to write in a new arrangement so I'm just gonna post what I have. http://www.box.com/s/57xp66377r2k33tolrjh v1: Yeah, hope you like what little I have so far. source: Legit! CT always a plus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyril the Wolf Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Sax sounds a little static: http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR00918/ Good example of sampled sax, I feel like there could be more like dynamics and a little more controlled vibrato for it to REALLY shine. But I'm just nitpicking, up to you it's a lot of effort but hella worth it. Alternatively, ask someone to guest who place Alto or Tenor (it fits in the range for both though you'd have to be hella good at Tenor) I play but I'm busy. That's it, no worries man sounds good as-is but it's still marked WIP so <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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