Jump to content

*NO* NieR 'Pale Moonlight'


Palpable
 Share

Recommended Posts

Link to track: NieR - Pale Moonlight

ReMixer name: sschafi1

Real name: Sean Schafianski

E-mail:

Submission Information

Name of game(s) arranged: NieR

Name of arrangement: Pale Moonlight

Name of individual song(s) arranged: Shadowlord's Castle Roar

Comments: NieR has one of the best soundtracks for a video game I've heard in a while, so for my first ever submission I wanted to pay homage to NieR and my love for Jazz. Here we have a fast, laid back swing tune that goes through the entire musical form of the original track. The accompaniment plays through the changes while a trumpet solo sits on top. An electric piano plays the motive/theme in the A section, replacing the vocal tracks of the original. This arrangement is a little liberal, though with the unique chord progression and the theme played by the E. Piano, I think it's definitely identifiable. I hope you enjoy this easy, breezy track :)

---------------------------------------------------------------

Don't think I've heard from Sean before - this is an extremely impressive debut. The aura of a jazz club is perfectly captured here, with some very controlled soloing and detailed accompaniment. Most of the connection here is in the distinctive chords ala "Shinesparks", though the electric piano here gives a more direct connection to a source melody than that song had. I'd also argue that here the chords are easier to follow than "Shinesparks". I get the sense that djp in particular would love this.

YES

Edit: Guess this is not the first sub of Sean's I have heard: http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=16772

Edited by Liontamer
closed decision
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Wow, definitely would not have considered this direction for the track. The theme is recognizable after a few listens, though the trumpet solo overshadows a lot of the source. The production is solid and feels really nice. I think the source use is obscured a good deal, but the chords come through strongly, and the more familiar i became with the source, the easier it was to hear the connections. I still think it's on the liberal side, but I am convinced there is enough of a connection to give this a Yes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Oh my. Well maybe I'm just not in touch with my jazz roots here... but I can't get behind this one. The trumpet solo shows some skill, but I hear tons of flat trumpet notes throughout the piece. Also there is an awful lot going on in this song, even though it is so low key: there is the stand-up bass, organ, guitar, vibraphone, and trumpet lead, ALL playing a busy line, full-time. Maybe the trumpet sounds flat because it is conflicting with some other thing playing at the time, I can't fully tell (and it seems to happen often). Also, that's a lot of trumpet solo, it would sure be nice if something else took the lead for a bit.

Source obscured, yes, other than the backing chord progression. Mixing is good though, even considering how busy it is.

I get that this is jazz and the rules are a bit different here... but I just can't get into this tune. Maybe I'm just being a grandma? Good luck with the rest of this vote!

NO (resubmit)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Wow, yeah, this is quite a change of pace from the original. Source connections are a bit understated (really held down by the backing elements like the EP).

Super skillfully performed parts here. Very impressive, Sean. The backing elements take an appropriate position in the back seat, letting the trumpet take the stage. I think some listeners could get hung up on the fact that the most prominent instrument isn't really featuring source material, but listening to the two pieces side-by-side really cements the connections for me.

I didn't really hear note choices outside of the bounds of what I'd expect from a jazz piece. I have some limited experience playing in jazz band in high school, so perhaps that helps my perspective a bit. Bottom-line, nothing really felt like it was clashing or out of place IMO so I'm cool there.

Good stuff. Moar plz.

YES

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

This is too liberal based on what I could make out, and I'll be voting NO. I'll come back with a thorough vote and we'll see if my opinion changes by finding more overt A-to-B source connections, not just using chord progressions, which aren't explicit enough connections. Also, Chimpa's NO is grandpa'ing, IMO. :lol:

EDIT (7/3): I liked the track a lot. I saw the comments about the trumpet never letting up with the perpetual soloing, and I'm not inherently against pulling it back during some portions for dynamic contrast. However, I thought that criticism was getting way too subjective over a valid stylistic approach. I also didn't find any meaningful fault with any of the intonation issues as the overall performance was strong. On the performance level and on a conceptual level, I was perfectly cool with this all the way and would love a unique approach like this on OCR.

Unfortunately, where I did feel I have to reject this on is not using the source tune enough within the arrangement.

The track was 4:06-long, so I needed at least 123 seconds of overt source usage for the VGM to be dominant in the arrangement.

The vibes-like stuff, where the source melody was explicitly used were the only areas that I counted as identifiable usage of the source:

:48-1:12, 1:36-2:00, 2:24-3:12 = 96 seconds or 39% (yipes)

You could argue that a portion like 1:12-1:19 was a super liberal/loose reference to 1:13-1:19 of source, but it's just not a strong enough resemblance.

There were a lot of sections (including the opening) merely implying the progression of the source's chorus, e.g. :00-:48, 1:11-1:35, 2:00-2:24, 3:35-4:00. Then 3:12-3:35 implied the progression of the main melody. This really needed less implicit similarities and more explicit calls to the source tune.

If you ever wanted to add something explicitly from the source into these sections, that could put it over the top as far as the VGM source material being used for a dominant portion of the song. I greatly enjoyed this one, but as is, it's currently outside of our standards due to the (too) limited source usage.

Edited by Liontamer
added source breakdown and comments
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my. Well maybe I'm just not in touch with my jazz roots here... but I can't get behind this one. The trumpet solo shows some skill, but I hear tons of flat trumpet notes throughout the piece. Also there is an awful lot going on in this song, even though it is so low key: there is the stand-up bass, organ, guitar, vibraphone, and trumpet lead, ALL playing a busy line, full-time. Maybe the trumpet sounds flat because it is conflicting with some other thing playing at the time, I can't fully tell (and it seems to happen often). Also, that's a lot of trumpet solo, it would sure be nice if something else took the lead for a bit.

Source obscured, yes, other than the backing chord progression. Mixing is good though, even considering how busy it is.

I get that this is jazz and the rules are a bit different here... but I just can't get into this tune. Maybe I'm just being a grandma? Good luck with the rest of this vote!

NO (resubmit)

Nah, I think you're right on the money Kris. I love love love jazz and used to listen to a lot of trumpet players back in the day, and I heard what you mean about some flatness. The performance isn't bad but there are some intonation issues.

It's the second time I'm using this word tonight, but that trumpet is just relentless too. Need to add some breaks for variety. Right now it's just the solo trumpet going all the way through. Trade with the e-piano or guitar or something. Also seems like a LOT of rhythm section (piano, guitar, and vibes) with just a lone wind (trumpet). Could do with more of a balance. All that accompaniment is fighting with itself.

Source usage is also iffy. I'm a huge fan of jazz and I know a big part of it is soloing over chords, but this seems pretty liberal. I think having more strongly defined melodic sections to break up the solo sections would be good. Consider adding another wind, like a sax or clarinet or flute, to help the trumpet make stronger statements from the source.

NO (resub)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Yeah, gonna have to agree on the source usage here. I can hear the connection between the chords, but I feel like that's not enough to really keep it cemented as a remix as opposed to an 'inspired by'. I'll also echo the thoughts on more variation. I love trumpet(and we trumpet players loooooove to be in the spotlight 100% of the time), but even my ears get a bit tired of the noodling after a while. Some more change-ups will let the trumpet shine more when it's featured, and give the other instruments a chance, too!

Really good start, and I think it's easily modified to fit into our standards more with some more melodic connection. Hope to hear more from you!

NO (resubmit)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Trumpets aside, this is pretty much auto-fail for me on source use. I don't think anyone would be able to identify that this was anything other than an unrelated smooth jazz trumpet solo even if they knew the original intimately.

Just to be clear, the OCReMix standards say that the source has to be 'identifiable and dominant' which I don't feel was the case here. It doesn't mean that this approach isn't valid or valuable.

For what it's worth I thought the trumpet playing was very strong, a few intonation blips aside.

NO

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah i'm in the too liberal camp. There are points where I can here the source in the vibs. There are some minor tuning issues in the bass I think, but the performances are good imo. I am going to give a bit of credit that the source is clearly in here imo - the chords are there and the source melody is in the vibs - the problem is they are in the background. If the trumpet had any source connections at ALL i'd be much happier, but I'm just not convinced the source is dominant enough. It feels like its a liberal remix being solo'd over.

Sorry, I really like this but I just don't think the connection is quite there.

NO (resub)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

I've added to my original vote up top to close this out. Sorry for the long wait, Sean. It's a cool piece, but at the end of the day, it needs much more clear usage of the original NieR source tune for it to have a chance at being approved. If there is any sort of explicit A-to-B connection from the NieR soundtrack to "Pale Moonlight" that we all missed, please let us know and we can reassess this one.

It sounds like it would be too difficult a piece to resubmit, with it being live, but we'd love to hear a resubmission of this if those stars aligned or a new submission. This decision's definitely not a knock on your abilities. Your talent and skill are very obvious, for sure. :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...