I'm liking the strings' volume swells at the beginning. One might say they are...swell.
Percussion sounds pretty awkward when it comes in at 0:28; it's like essential parts are missing, leaving the other sounds exposed to limp along on their own. It starts to sound much better at 0:47. The buildup could be more effective with a few changes. The little reversed percussive sounds in the background (they might be reversed snares, not sure) are placed strangely, and I don't think I'd make the regular snare so prominent right from the start of the buildup. More bass drum would be good there.
The synth starting at 1:06 sounds cool, and it's the first part of the remix where I recognize the source, but some of the notes just aren't fitting in well for me. In particular, the long notes at 1:09, 1:13, and 1:18 (hopefully the times translate well across media players).
Overall, this is pretty good for a first attempt. It took me a while to figure out how to make my stuff not boring.
Haha now I'm listening to my early work. AWKWARD NOSTALGIA TIME