Being likely too familiar with the source tune, I can say first off that this is a great remix. However, there are some things that I think could use some improvement...
- The cymbals feel pretty weak for what's basically a metal remix of this. They lack some of the punch one would expect of them with this kind of song. As such, I believe they could stand being brought forward more than they currently are and being given more presence in the mix.
- There are a few spots where it seems like there should be a cymbal crash, but there isn't. An example is right after the drum roll at roughly 00:00:09, the areas at approximately 00:00:27.10, 00:01:39.21, 00:01:42.00, 00:02:24.29... places where the one set of harmonies and chords ends and others begin. I understand if you're truing not to go apeshit on cymbal crashes, but I think you underplayed them a bit, leaving areas that feel unfinished because there's nothing to punctuate such changes.
The mix itself if very good. You made good use of variations on the short source material, keeping Tecno Soft's synth metal vibe alive and well in the remix. But I feel your cymbals are the weak spot in it, as they aren't matching the intensity of the rest of the song, while also leaving areas that feel oddly empty due to a lack of them. If you give them a boost, I think you'll have a fine remix that you could call finished.
Kudos on the selection by the way. Nice to see I'm not the only one around these parts trying to give the best 16-bit shmup out there some remixing love