Meteo Xavier Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 As birthday-centric as this community has become over the last year, I'd sooner lick Satan's red-hot bedpan than I would allow anyone on this god-forsaken Earth to deny me the pleasure of wishing myself happy birthday on Ocremix. This is my favorite utterly pointless tradition throughout the year, more so even than Perfectly Spherical Friday the week before Halloween, and to really aggravate people like you this year, I'm wishing myself Happy Birthday TWO WEEKS IN ADVANCE. You: Meteo, quit being the world's biggest gobshite and let things progress as nature intended. I'll do no such thing, wanker doodle dandy! I'm turning 43 this year. When I was little, doctors thought I'd either be dead or mentally impaired beyond all course of reckoning. Guess which one I chose. I'm an old man now. I fought for your independence in the Gulf War, I fought for your imprisonment in Vietnam War II, and by now I think I've earned the right to express myself however I want no matter how little it contributes to mankind as a whole. To celebrate yet another year of God's continued failure to hear your prayers and make sure I never have arms, life or internet access anymore, I will post that funny picture of the NICE BIRTHDAY man I stole from Coop. In Excelsius Terminus, bi-yatch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Rex Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Meteo, quit being the world's biggest gobshite and let things progress as nature intended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Legendary Zoltan Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Your gonna be 43? I'm gonna be 34! BOOM I hijacked the entire thread. Now everyone will be talking about me instead of you. Hahaha. Just kidding. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nase Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 :3 Rock on dude! Happy Birthday to me, 3 weeks in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPRTNovice Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 When I was little, doctors thought I'd either be dead or mentally impaired beyond all course of reckoning. Guess which one I chose. This may be my favorite thing you've ever written. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catnip Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Your gonna be 43? I'm gonna be 34! BOOM I hijacked the entire thread. Now everyone will be talking about me instead of you. Hahaha. Just kidding. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Yeah? Well... Well I'M GONNA BE 24 HAHAHA In, like, 6 months. Happy Birthday Sir Person-Whose-Birthday-It-Is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Hey everybody! Today's Meteo's real birthday. Let's annoy him senseless with saccharine birthday wishes!!! Happy birthday, Meteo!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cash Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 We've had a few disagreements/arguments before, but you're not a bad guy! Happy birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crulex Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Happy actual birthday, Meteo! Have a sweet one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Coop Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 .gnorw ti gniod er'uoY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrett Williamson Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I shall now make you feel old by stating that you're almost as old as my father. Happy birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Strader Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I'm turning 43 this year. Holy crap.. this almost blew my mind out of my mind-hole. I don't mean that in an insulting way. I never thought you were immature, maybe I thought you were in your late 20s, maybe early-early 30s, but freaking 43? That's pretty insane.. You certainly don't seem like a boring old man. Happy birthday man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nase Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 got a birfday present! i hand picked a joke for ya: One day, an atheist was walking along a cliff when he slipped and fell over the edge. As he plunged downwards he managed to grab the branch of a small tree that was growing from a crevice in the rock. Hanging there, swaying in the cold wind, he realized how helpless his position was. Far below were jagged boulders and there was no way to climb up. His grip on the branch was weakening every second. "Well," he thought, "only God can save me now. I have never believed in God but I might be wrong. What have I to lose?" So he called out, "God, if you exist, save me, and I will believe in you." There was no answer. He called again, "Please God, I never believed in you, but if you will save me now, I will believe in you from now on!" Suddenly a great voice boomed down from the clouds, "Oh no you won't, I know your kind." The man was so surprised, he almost lost his grip on the branch. "Please God, you are wrong. I really mean it; I will believe." "Oh no you won't. That's what they all say." The man pleaded and argued. Finally God said, "Alright, I will save you. Let go of the branch." "Let go of the branch!" the man exclaimed. "Do you think I am crazy?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 Oh man, and here I thought I'd be the first person in OCR history to have his birthday thread erased. Thank you each and every one of you for your continued support to my being despite my negative and chaotic antics. From this point last year to this point THIS year, I took my arsenic confrontations and devil's advocating to it's logical extremes (though logical would hardly be the word that describes it) out of a major conflict I was having with what I felt society and those circles I'm allowed to run had become. Those of you who put up with my pronounced bullshit over the last year deserve at least some kind of explanation that I can now give. I celebrate my birthday on March 20th. It also happens to be near the date I got married to an awesome Japanese chick I met on Gamefaqs in a 1-1,000,000 chance of getting a working marriage out of it. Somehow, we pulled it off, but it came with a major tradeoff to her "functional" health. For several years now we have been slowly but surely getting her back to where she needs to be. Then, last year, on March 20th, the HOUR I was born, we got a call from her Mom in Hawaii that her dad had a fatal cardiac arrest. The weight and ramifications that event held were 10x the size of any ordinarily sudden death in the family. I won't go into a lot of details, but you better believe me, as far as I was concerned, the Earth had exploded. It was, without hyperbole, for every intent and purpose I have, the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen, and it did. If that wasn't enough, she contracted an infection that almost took her own life in Hawaii as well, on top of everything else. Combining that madness was how I observed the culture of her family and Hawaii itself. Because of our limited means, I never got to meet her family before then (and will now go in this life without her dad meeting me... that I know about for sure), and again I won't mention details, but what I saw were problems greater than anything I see here on the mainland. Real poverty, major structural problems with daily life, power struggles, things human beings in this civilized world should not have to deal with. But more than what struck me what their family had to go through each and every day of their lives was how they cope with it. Not one person I saw in Hawaii complained. They didn't bitch about it on Facebook or anything, they manned up, accepted their lot in life, and tried to make the best of it with whatever positive thoughts they had all the same. Then I come back here to the "Haole" culture, and what I do see? People bitching left and right about everything under the sun. "I just deleted a lot of friends and family from my Facebook for not being liberal enough, aren't I awesome?""Hitler was a Christian. That's all you need to know about organized religion.""Well, I'm still bumming rides from my friends because I'm still too poor to buy a car thanks to the Republicans, but it's been five days since I bought a $60 tattoo of something that will make sure I never get hired anywhere, so I'm gettin' inked tonight!!!!""Based on 3 seconds of something I saw someone do at WalMart that might have a good explanation if I wasn't such an irritable, judgmental asshole to ask about it or, god that doesn't exist forbid, help them out, I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Fuck people. All of them. You too. I only like my dog now, now who wants to bring me a burger and steak from Jasper's Grill? :D" And the two major elements I gained from our impossibly harrowing venture in Hawaii combining with this totally snapped any tolerance I had left for how whiny, arrogant, pretentious and hypocritical everyone was portraying themselves to be. It wasn't enough to simply ignore it anymore, I wanted to wage war against it. I wanted to personally shove corrections for this nonsense, socially acceptable insanity right up their asses until the heat of their anger towards me burned them from the inside to function as SOME sort of punishment for their hubris. I won't lie, I enjoyed it. I paid for it too, as nature rightfully dictates. It reached its peak some time ago, and it's not truly enjoyable in the least. Wasn't then, sure isn't now. The waning of our culture's hubris, plus my own waning interest in self-perpetuating that madness, and the fact that our vacation at Harrah's Cherokee Casino that I just got back from this morning went considerably better than our birthday/anniversary last year* puts me in a much better mood to be spreading more positive and useful content where I can. One way I hoped to do that was with this quasi-secret written project I'm working on for Ocremix that I hope will become a useful guide at the Workshop section. Unfortunately, a lot of things I was talking about in there actually changed WHILE I was working on it, so I have to redo major sections of it, but when and if I ever get that done, you will find it very useful indeed for your own objective music endeavors. I mention that because I felt it was pretty "eh..." to finish this epic birthday thread response with "hey guys, I promise not to be an asshole anymore!" I guess I could've also finished it by thanking you guys again for continuing to support me despite the depths I sunk to over the last year, so I'll truly just end it there as well. Thanks again! *Ending fatigue anyone? I don't want to make it sound like a surprise trip to Honolulu didn't have it's own share of amazing moments with gorgeousity and good memories I'd like to keep with me forever, it's just always better when your original anniversary plans don't end up with someone dying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Strader Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 People never remember that there's a human being on the other end of the words. People need to remember to understand and be compassionate, because while some less considerate people would call you an "asshole", people with more patience and comprehension, and compassion, will recognize that you're a person like us just going through some stuff. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm glad things are looking up for you and that you had a good birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 .gnorw ti gniod er'uoY ˙ooʇ ƃuoɹʍ ʇı ƃuıop ǝɹ,noʎ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 How do you even get text to go upside down like that, Timmae? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 How do you even get text to go upside down like that, Timmae? http://textmechanic.com/Reverse-Text-Generator.html ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyperion5182 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Meteo. You're a bad ass. Enough said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 I am? When and how did I obtain this title? Kinda seriously asking there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Strader Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Meteo. You're a bad ass. Enough said. I am? When and how did I obtain this title?Kinda seriously asking there. When they were grading the meat quality of your hide, it was determined that the rump was bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nase Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Timmae? was that spontaneous? or is it an established nick variant? cause i'll totally be using it whenever i reply to timaeus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyperion5182 Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I am? When and how did I obtain this title?Kinda seriously asking there. Somewhere in 2005. Historians debate the exact date and events. =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteo Xavier Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 When I entered community college? Historians are full of shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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