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Welcome to Darth GourryGN (GN:get naked? see page 334) Gaming Magazine of Terror that Nobody Ordered but Your Money Has Left Your Bank Account Anyway HAHAHAHA issue 3 1/3.

For great justice, some games you should buy:

Brothers in Arms DS is not too shabby. Of course it is short and has no online multiplayer and has a low framerate and stupid AI, but as far as WWII shooters on the DS go, it is the best (not that there is a lot to choose from). If you've played a WWII shooter, you know what to expect. I guess it is different from other Brothers in Arms games in that it is a third person shooter and you don't get to command anyone. If you like shooting stupid Nazis using good Metroid Prime Hunters style controls, and I think that's most sane people, then you'll like this game. Once again, it's very short (5-6 hours) though.

Rating: 3.9 hand grenades (hey put the pin back in that one!) out of 5.

Time Ace is a fun Star Fox 64 style game that professional game reviewers do not seem to like. It seems that like Freedom Wings (another DS budget flight game that I love), they all decided to play it for 15 minutes then review it. It is a budget game, but it is better than most full price DS games, so for $20 you can give professional game reviewers and companies that overcharge for crap the finger and get a fun game. The game throws a lot of enemies at you and has no slowdown at all (but with a relatively short draw distance, like StarFox Command), and I found the writing to be kind of funny. The game is a bit short, but shooters tend to be. Very fun game.

Rating: "I am not a professional so that's why you can totally trust me" out of 7.

Transformers for DS surprised me. From what I can tell I am sober, and it is shockingly not crap. I played the Decepticons version (yup, two versions of the game), and you basically get to run around GTA style, blowing crap up, finding new vehicles to scan and turn into, and picking up Autobyte (lol) grunts and beating them with their own comrades. You gain experience and level up from missions and killing enemies (or civilians). The game really reminds me of Grand Theft Auto III. You even have a meter in the top right hand corner of the screen showing the "threat level" that you pose, and the police have a few funny phrases ("We are under attack by a giant, uh, metal man. Please advise.") that they say. The game is fully voiced and the voice acting is good. Also you can pick up Autobots and use them as a club to beat other 'bots. I guess I already said that. It's fun.

Rating: "I like hitting them with their own guys" out of AllSpark.

I haven't played the online mode for Transformers yet, but there apparently is one, and track will be kept of which side is winning the war, I hear.

I'm playing Zelda, and it looks nice. It's too bad it has to be the overhead viewpoint, because in my opinion it detracts from the visual side of things slightly. However, the stylus-only controls are really nice. Physically slashing at enemies is fun, and it has never been easier to throw rocks at people and chickens. A nice feature is the ability to write on the map. So you can vent frustrations by writing curse words on the locations that give you trouble. And I hope you like having a faerie saying "Hey, hey" at you, because it finds you... just kidding... or am I?

And finally:

This.

Sounds like some nice features buried in some licensed crap.

Why can't I get a nice music making game for my DS without it being in Japanese or completely imasculating or woefully lacking features or asinine or imasculating or exploding in your face and melting your hands or...

*end communication*

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Welcome to Darth GourryGN (GN:get naked? see page 334) Gaming Magazine of Terror that Nobody Ordered but Your Money Has Left Your Bank Account Anyway HAHAHAHA issue 3 1/3.

what

I'm playing Zelda, and it looks nice. It's too bad it has to be the overhead viewpoint, because in my opinion it detracts from the visual side of things slightly. However, the stylus-only controls are really nice. Physically slashing at enemies is fun, and it has never been easier to throw rocks at people and chickens. A nice feature is the ability to write on the map. So you can vent frustrations by writing curse words on the locations that give you trouble. And I hope you like having a faerie saying "Hey, hey" at you, because it finds you... just kidding... or am I?

i knew from the trailer nintendo was going to throw this crap at us

after playing twilight princess all i want to swing the sword is a freaking button

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ok, contra 4 is 4 players at once WTF why did no one tell me this?

This has gone from something I was probably going to get to a must-have title.

FF tactics 2 looks pretty nice as well, though I hope the story is more like the original and not FFTA.

edit: Looks like OCR got a shoutout in the contra 4 interview in nintendo power. GG OCR.

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Zelda: Phantom Hourglass is AWESOME.

But you CANNOT play it without a good knowledge of Japanese. Way too much depends on the text to wing it. It's a good thing I have a fluent friend I can spend weekends with.

Yeah, I'm like under 10 minutes into it and I'm already stuck.

Any idea how to get past that broken bridge thingy? I don't even have a damn sword yet...

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Yeah, I'm like under 10 minutes into it and I'm already stuck.

Any idea how to get past that broken bridge thingy? I don't even have a damn sword yet...

Highlight for the puzzle *The first puzzle is to write down the number of trees on the island.*

Highlight for the solution *Write a 7 with the touch screen.*

But you're gonna need help like that every step of the way if you don't get the text. Forget it until there's at least a minimal fan translation.

If you've got your heart set on going further, highlight for more solutions, but this is all you're gonna get.

*Say hello into the mic in the house. English "Hello" works*

*You need to mark the map with the locations of the fires to open the door.*

I'm sure GameFAQs will have all the spoilers required to get a decent amount into the game by now.

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...

But you're gonna need help like that every step of the way if you don't get the text. Forget it until there's at least a minimal fan translation.

...

I'm sure GameFAQs will have all the spoilers required to get a decent amount into the game by now.

Oh, I see. Standard exploration ain't gonna cut it anymore...

Damn you for being innovative, Nintendo! ;-)

If it's going to be this much trouble, I think I'll just wait for the English version. I never got to play the GBA version of Link to the Past, maybe I'll pick that up while I'm waiting.

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I was talking with some co-workers yesterday, all of whom are about my age (mid-20's) and was astounded that none of them had ever heard of the DS. Is it just the people I know, or is there a general lack of knowledge about the DS?

Huh, weird. All I know is my friends and co-workers of similar age at least know about the DS, if not own one. Even my mom heard of the DS separate from me, since she heard about Brain Age and wanted it for that (she bought it, then my grandparents tried it out and bought one too).

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I was talking with some co-workers yesterday, all of whom are about my age (mid-20's) and was astounded that none of them had ever heard of the DS. Is it just the people I know, or is there a general lack of knowledge about the DS?

Almost everyone I know has at least "heard" of the DS. I think it's the people you know. The DS is huge in America (but we already knew that). That is strange that they haven't even heard of it. Do they know about the Wii?

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