Chizniz Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I have a neighbor like that. He has a small farm, and sometimes gives us fresh vegetables, or left over meat from his latest slaughter (he has sheep and cows-- both of which are yummy). But he's weird in other ways. For example, I haven't seen him leave his yard in six months...Nice enough though. Somewhere in Alberta, this guy who owned a farm killed a bunch of hookers and ground them up with pigs and froze them. Over the course of a month or two, he gave his neighbors hooker-pig meat which they happily ate. I can't remember what led to it, but a sample of the meat was analyzed and there were several human traces from numerous people found within it. That, and the fact that some human remains were unearthed on his farm pretty much confirmed he was the hooker killer that the cops were looking for. Moral of the story: It's good to be paranoid. At least that way you wont end up with some ho's toxic coochie mixed in with your family dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Wolf Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 It's good to be paranoid. At least that way you wont end up with some ho's toxic coochie mixed in with your family dinner. Sigged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Damned Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I have a neighbor like that. He has a small farm, and sometimes gives us fresh vegetables, or left over meat from his latest slaughter (he has sheep and cows-- both of which are yummy). But he's weird in other ways. For example, I haven't seen him leave his yard in six months...Nice enough though. Somewhere in Alberta, this guy who owned a farm killed a bunch of hookers and ground them up with pigs and froze them. Over the course of a month or two, he gave his neighbors hooker-pig meat which they happily ate. I can't remember what led to it, but a sample of the meat was analyzed and there were several human traces from numerous people found within it. That, and the fact that some human remains were unearthed on his farm pretty much confirmed he was the hooker killer that the cops were looking for. Moral of the story: It's good to be paranoid. At least that way you wont end up with some ho's toxic coochie mixed in with your family dinner. Wasn't that BC? No, wait, that was the giant pig farm where they found those hundred or so dead hookers. What the fuck is with this country and dead hookers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin-01 Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 ... ... That was an awful lot of bratwurst now that I think about it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chizniz Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I have a neighbor like that. He has a small farm, and sometimes gives us fresh vegetables, or left over meat from his latest slaughter (he has sheep and cows-- both of which are yummy). But he's weird in other ways. For example, I haven't seen him leave his yard in six months...Nice enough though. Somewhere in Alberta, this guy who owned a farm killed a bunch of hookers and ground them up with pigs and froze them. Over the course of a month or two, he gave his neighbors hooker-pig meat which they happily ate. I can't remember what led to it, but a sample of the meat was analyzed and there were several human traces from numerous people found within it. That, and the fact that some human remains were unearthed on his farm pretty much confirmed he was the hooker killer that the cops were looking for. Moral of the story: It's good to be paranoid. At least that way you wont end up with some ho's toxic coochie mixed in with your family dinner. Wasn't that BC? No, wait, that was the giant pig farm where they found those hundred or so dead hookers. What the fuck is with this country and dead hookers? Pancakes, flannel, and dead hookers. That about sums us up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Wolf Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Pancakes, flannel, and dead hookers. That about sums us up. Can I just sig everything you've ever written? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The wingless Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Pancakes, flannel, and dead hookers. That about sums us up. Can I just sig everything you've ever written? you used to sig me, you cocksneeze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drakonis GTR Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I'll sig you wingless, just give me something "witty" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Wolf Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 I sigged you when you called me things like cocksneeze, anyways. It never would have worked between us, Wingless. I'm too white and nerdy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trenthian Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 You should give him random boxes of food as well. BOXOFF!!! just dont give him the food after you are done using, thats what we at the precinct call assault with a biological agent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberbox Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 Perhaps someone is bringing him a bunch of food...?Either that, or, we could take the poison theory one step further and say he's actually building up your immunity to the poison. That, and he's secretly part of the food mafia, and soon you're gonna have to pay him back for all the food favours he's been giving. If you say "I didn't eat any of it!", he'll pull the ol' midaeval witch test: take some poison - if you're immune you were lying, if it kills you, you were telling the truth. Oh, the possibilities! ... you are sick, you know that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin-01 Posted December 29, 2006 Author Share Posted December 29, 2006 Finally got ahold of him and talked to him. He's with a Catholic foodbank thing, and whenever they get too many donations for their space, they have to give it out or throw it out. Still no idea why he singles us out. Boxes and boxes of meat and crap. Anyone for some lunch meat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friendlyHunter Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 Perhaps someone is bringing him a bunch of food...?Either that, or, we could take the poison theory one step further and say he's actually building up your immunity to the poison. That, and he's secretly part of the food mafia, and soon you're gonna have to pay him back for all the food favours he's been giving. If you say "I didn't eat any of it!", he'll pull the ol' midaeval witch test: take some poison - if you're immune you were lying, if it kills you, you were telling the truth. Oh, the possibilities! ... you are sick, you know that? I hope you're joking, and I hope you know I was joking (yeah, the humour's a little sick if you look at it in a serious way for some reason...). But it doesn't matter to me what you think, because you're far off in -oh my gosh you're RIGHT BEHIND ME!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellcom Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 he's slowly poisoning youI hope you know this No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies. Very clever, and fiendish. Also, not good for your thighs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bummer Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 He probably believes that you're his god embodied in a human body, and is therefore offering you some gifts so that you'll refrain from unleashing your wraith upon his house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnDriLLL Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 omg people in America committing random acts of kindness!!! I dident know such people here existed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Less Ashamed Of Self Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Way to revive a dead thread. What's the latest anyway; still getting boxes? Get any dead animals yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Matt I Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 in before b& Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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