TRANSLATION REVIEW NEEDED: Japanese, Spanish, French

[djpretzel 🎮]

The following staff translators recently completed translations of several major OCR documents into different languages:

• French - PriZm (Pascal Jetté)
  
• Japanese - CHIPP Damage (Jahan Zoltan Honma)
  
• Spanish - Sir_NutS (Michael Molina)

Before we announce these translations and alert appropriate foreign-language sites to their existence, we'd like feedback from those fluent in the language(s) with regards to the accuracy/clarity of the translated versions.

We're not looking for nitpicky/subjective critiques - translation is almost always a tricky enough task that there are numerous ways of approaching that all have their relative merits. We're specifically looking for feedback/corrections that would:

• Correct significant inaccuracies
  
• Significantly improve clarity
  
• Utilize more commonly accepted terms

... all relative to the official versions of the documents in question, which are in English.

Personally, I'm really excited about this... already we've sent the policy and submission standards to Ryo Lion, who indicated essentially that they made a lot more sense than the automated translation software he was using. Here are links to the official documents and their corresponding translations:

• Content Policy (http://www.ocremix.org/info/Content_Policy)
  • French
    
  • Japanese

  [*]Mission (http://www.ocremix.org/info/Mission)

  • French
    
  • Japanese
    
  • Spanish

  [*]Submission Standards and Instructions (http://www.ocremix.org/info/Submission_Standards_and_Instructions)

  • Japanese
    
  • Spanish

We're still working on a Spanish translation of the Content Policy and a French translation of the Submission Standards, but the work done so far represents a significant time investment from our three translators (awesome job, guys) and myself, and I'm proud of the progress we've made on this task.

Please avoid personal criticism and favor constructive criticism - each of our three translators spent a lot of time on this work, and in some cases it's already been reviewed by others. Nevertheless, your suggestions & corrections are definitely appreciated!

Thanks,

David Lloyd

[anosou]

This is great news! Too bad I can't help you. But I'm really looking forward to OCR getting some more attention worldwide (and, I have to be honest, especially in Japan).

Nice work people!

*insert nice work guy pic here*

[Doulifée]

already sent a pm to Larry a while ago about the mission part.

Cette licence peut être révoquée à tout moment par le consentement...

instead of

Cette licence peut être révoquée à tout moment du consentement...

________________________________________

B.) Si du contenu d’OverClocked ReMix est redistribué, "performé" ou incorporé à d’autres oeuvres

misuse of perform from the english? to perform => to render (music), as by playing or singing.

interprété (aka played ) fit better.

[Brithor]

1-. The first point in the Spanish 'Submission Standards: 2. Ownership' section is missing a verb:

"1. Su material presentado debe ser un arreglo original de su autoría."

[SG3000]

I'm spanish, so I'll try to help with my limited (bad) english. Some things I've noticed:

1.Los Materiales Enviados pueden ser arreglos musicales de cualquier videojuego de consola, computadora (ordenador) o Arcada.

Not sure if it's a typo, but we use the same word as english, "arcade", or if you want to use a more spanish term, "recreativa" or "máquina recreativa". Also, "computadora" is used more in spanish outside from Spain, while in Spain we usually say "ordenador"

Temas de películas como Guerra de las Galaxias o canciones bajo licencia de juegos como Gran Turismo no califican.

Star Wars here is dubbed "La Guerra de las Galaxias" (only needs to add the article), and "no califican" in spanish would be incorrect because it's not reflexive, the correct form would be "no se cualifican". The way it is, it may implie you are using some score system.

Nosotros recomendamos fuertemente arreglar música de videojuegos comerciales para evitar cualquier problema.

Not sure if it's correct, but it's better to change it to "encarecidamente".

2. Envíos de materiales que incorporen más de una fuente son permitidos, pero no se les otorga ninguna consideración o clemencia con respecto a los estándares de envío de materiales.

I'd say it's better to change it to "especial" or "particular", because the way it is sounds more negative than intended.

Mezclas deben sonar como una sola canción, no como múltiples canciones pegadas unas con otras.

Needs the article at the beggining, "Las mezclas".

1.Arreglos musicales de cualquier género de música (ej. techno, jazz, rock, clásica) son aceptables

I think it's reiterative, since it's implied the arrangement is in music, it's better to change it to "arreglos de cualquier género de música".

Líricas o vocales

The correct term would be "letras" since "lírica" is used in poetry, literature, or even musical genres like opera.

Tomar el audio original del videojuego y simplemente añadir “Drum loops” o usar un archivo MIDI existente y asignar nuevos instrumentos no califica como un arreglo música substancial u original.

Again, it would be better to change it to "no se cualifica". Also, it would be "arreglo musical", "arreglo de música" or better directly skip it and just leave "arreglo substancial u original" because it's implied it refers to music.

Envíos de Material deben ser lo suficientemente largos

"El material enviado debe ser lo suficientemente largo" would make more sense. Also, I'd sugest changing the parts where it's written "materiales" (plural) to "material" (singular), since the use of the plural form is better used when refering to physical materials and the singular to intellectual works like music (even when there are several works, not just one). Also, I'd say there's no need to repite every time "envíos de material", it's redundant because it's implied in the context. Just "envíos" would do fine.

2. La producción debe mostrar una atención significante a la calidad del sonido

"significativa"

1. Los Materiales Enviados que no llenen los requerimientos de formato, propiedad, y material fuente no serán evaluados.

"cumplan"

1. Envíe solo un material a la vez.

Like I said before, the correct form is the singular, but since you are trying to implie singularity, I'd sugest changing it to "trabajo" (work, more concrete).

Contacte un juez si ha esperado más de tres meses por una evaluación.

"para"

Also, I've pointed some, but there are more instances where there was a missing article at the beggining of the phrase. "(Los) efectos de sonido solamente no son considerados música." ; "(Algunos) juegos que son Shareware, Freeware o proyectos personales pueden o no ser aceptados a nuestra discreción.", etc. Not necessarily incorrect, but sounds weird.

And that's all I found, hope it may be of some help.

[corronchilejano]

The first part of the Submission Standars is missing in the Spanish translation:

This document describes the process for submitting music to OverClocked ReMix and the standards by which submissions will be evaluated. By submitting your music to this site, you are agreeing to our Content Policy; please read it first before proceeding.

Translates to:

Este documento describe el proceso para presentar música a OverClocked ReMix y lo estándares por los cuales tales materiales presentados serán evaluados. Presentando su música al sitio, está aceptando nuestra Política de Contenido; por favor léala antes de proceder.

******************************************************************************

Point 2 of the Format section is missing:

Submissions must be 6MB (6,291,456 bytes) or less.

Translates to:

El material presentado debe ser de 6MB (6,291,456 bytes) o menos.

******************************************************************************

Point 3 of the Format section is written in a rather incorrect way. I may not be savy in the exact technical term, but it refers to the fact that "material" can also be taken as a plural in this case without adding "es" to the end:

Los Materiales Presentados deben tener un título original. No nombre sus materiales enviados como la pista original, el título del juego, o como usted.

Should actually be:

El material presentado debe tener un título original. No nombre su material como la pista original, el título del juego, o como usted.

******************************************************************************

In the Ownership part, point 1 is missing a small part. Also, that "Su" sounds really strange. Although it wouldn't translate directly as well, that should be changed to "El", since it is already obvious that the reader is the one presenting the submission, and thus the one the document is referring to. This makes the phrase sound more correct. The original:

Su material presentado debe un arreglo original de su autoría.

Should be:

El material presentado debe ser un arreglo original de su autoría.

******************************************************************************

In Ownership, point 3, there word "envuelve" should actually be "comprende", which means the people/things actually involved. Also "varios" should be used instead of "múltiples" as it is more common. Again, "el" should be used instead of "su" as it sounds more correct and it's less redundant. In the 3rd subpoint in that same part, there's also a part that doesn't really make sense and can be removed. Thus the first section is:

Si su material presentado envuelve múltiples artistas, asegúrese de que todos los artistas:

With changes should be:

Si el material presentado comprende a varios artistas, asegúrese de que todos los artistas:

And the third subpoint should have all the underlined part removed:

Están siendo acreditados con el nombre y la información de perfil con los cuales desean ser representados en lo adelante en OverClocked ReMix.

******************************************************************************

I reached point 3 but have to occupy myself in the moment. Later in the day I will post about the rest.

[Happy Pyro]

The first part of the Submission Standars is missing in the Spanish translation:

This document describes the process for submitting music to OverClocked ReMix and the standards by which submissions will be evaluated. By submitting your music to this site, you are agreeing to our Content Policy; please read it first before proceeding.

Translates to:

Este documento describe el proceso para presentar música a OverClocked ReMix y lo estándares por los cuales tales materiales presentados serán evaluados. Presentando su música al sitio, está aceptando nuestra Política de Contenido; por favor léala antes de proceder.

That part of the translation seems to be okay, but the bolded article below needs to be pluralised.

Este documento describe el proceso para presentar música a OverClocked ReMix y los estándares por los cuales tales materiales presentados serán evaluados. Presentando su música al sitio, está aceptando nuestra Política de Contenido; por favor léala antes de proceder.

[Martin Penwald]

I just skimmed the first part of the Japanese version of the Content policy. First of all, instead of seisaku, I'd go with hôshin, since seisaku is pretty much exclusive to politics.

1. OCRに資料を提出すると、その資料を配布したり、演奏したり、別の作品に入れたりするための永久的普遍的非排他的な事業許可権を与えたことになります。

永久 is a rather poetic term; pertaining to law, 恒久 is usually used.

3. オリジナルの資料の著作権はあなたのです

This is missing "owner" or something; it says "you're the copyright". I'd suggest to either use 著作権所有者 or change it to　...著作権を持っているのはあなたです。

5. 提出された資料と関係のある広告から　　　歳入を全てサイトの操作と宣伝のために使います

I guess the gap is there on purpose? This is missing something, too. I'd change it to ...ある広告から得た収益は必ずサイトの経営的経費と... I also changed 歳入, which usually means "annual income", to 収益、which is "revenue" in general. Furthermore, I changed 操作 to 経営的経費, since that's the technical term for "running/operating expenses".

8. 普段はOCRはそのよりなリクェストに応じません

常に、OCRはそのようなリクェストに応じません。

[Sir_NutS]

I'm spanish, so I'll try to help with my limited (bad) english. Some things I've noticed:

1.Los Materiales Enviados pueden ser arreglos musicales de cualquier videojuego de consola, computadora (ordenador) o Arcada.

Not sure if it's a typo, but we use the same word as english, "arcade", or if you want to use a more spanish term, "recreativa" or "máquina recreativa". Also, "computadora" is used more in spanish outside from Spain, while in Spain we usually say "ordenador"

I made the translations based on latin american-styled spanish, which has it's small differences from Spain's spanish. Here, Arcada is a common name for arcades (Arcada and arcades are used in many places, but rarely "recreativas"). As you said, in latin america the term "ordenador" is used rarely while "computadora" is common.

Temas de películas como Guerra de las Galaxias o canciones bajo licencia de juegos como Gran Turismo no califican.

Star Wars here is dubbed "La Guerra de las Galaxias" (only needs to add the article), and "no califican" in spanish would be incorrect because it's not reflexive, the correct form would be "no se cualifican". The way it is, it may implie you are using some score system.

You're right about the differences between cualificar and calificar, however in this case it should be "no cualifican" instead of "no se cualifican" because the intent of the paragraph is to say that the songs in itself don't qualify (as in, they don't meet the requirements), not that they are not qualified.

Again this could be a difference between the latin-american and spain's use of the language.

Nosotros recomendamos fuertemente arreglar música de videojuegos comerciales para evitar cualquier problema.

Not sure if it's correct, but it's better to change it to "encarecidamente".

Another regional term which is rarely used. But given the context "encarecidamente" gets more to the point.

2. Envíos de materiales que incorporen más de una fuente son permitidos, pero no se les otorga ninguna consideración o clemencia con respecto a los estándares de envío de materiales.

I'd say it's better to change it to "especial" or "particular", because the way it is sounds more negative than intended.

That could be arguable, the original sounds pretty negative in itself and stresses the point about any special treatment given to these submissions.

Mezclas deben sonar como una sola canción, no como múltiples canciones pegadas unas con otras.

Needs the article at the beggining, "Las mezclas".

Correct.

1.Arreglos musicales de cualquier género de música (ej. techno, jazz, rock, clásica) son aceptables

I think it's reiterative, since it's implied the arrangement is in music, it's better to change it to "arreglos de cualquier género de música".

Or, "Arreglos musicales de cualquier género" could work as well, it is indeed redundant as you say.

Líricas o vocales

The correct term would be "letras" since "lírica" is used in poetry, literature, or even musical genres like opera.

Again this is in my opinion another regional difference. however, "Letras" is a more commonly used name so I think it could be used instead of líricas.

Tomar el audio original del videojuego y simplemente añadir “Drum loops” o usar un archivo MIDI existente y asignar nuevos instrumentos no califica como un arreglo música substancial u original.

Again, it would be better to change it to "no se cualifica". Also, it would be "arreglo musical", "arreglo de música" or better directly skip it and just leave "arreglo substancial u original" because it's implied it refers to music.

The correct term is "arreglo musical", the lack of the final "s" is a typo. In this case "no cualifica" is the correct term, "no se cualifica" makes no sense within the sentence, unless it's pluralized as "no se cualifican" along with the whole sentence which brings me to the point I exposed before. "Arreglo" has different meanings and although in this song it's implied that the topic is music, the "arreglo" could imply other things.

The sentence after corrections would be:

"Tomar el audio original del videojuego y simplemente añadir “Drum loops” o usar un archivo MIDI existente y asignar nuevos instrumentos no cualifica como un arreglo musical substancial u original."

Envíos de Material deben ser lo suficientemente largos

"El material enviado debe ser lo suficientemente largo" would make more sense. Also, I'd sugest changing the parts where it's written "materiales" (plural) to "material" (singular), since the use of the plural form is better used when refering to physical materials and the singular to intellectual works like music (even when there are several works, not just one). Also, I'd say there's no need to repite every time "envíos de material", it's redundant because it's implied in the context. Just "envíos" would do fine.

"El material enviado debe ser lo suficientemente largo" <= You are correct, this is how it should be. About the emphasis on "envíos de material" it is written this way because "envíos" does not represent the whole idea. There is not a correct or exact translation for the term "submisssion" that comprises the meaning in the context used at OCR, so "Envío de materiales" is the closest and more exact translation.

2. La producción debe mostrar una atención significante a la calidad del sonido

"significativa"

Correct.

1. Los Materiales Enviados que no llenen los requerimientos de formato, propiedad, y material fuente no serán evaluados.

"cumplan"

Both can be used, but "cumplan" indeed sounds more correct.

1. Envíe solo un material a la vez.

Like I said before, the correct form is the singular, but since you are trying to implie singularity, I'd sugest changing it to "trabajo" (work, more concrete).

It says "Solo un", so I think it implies that it is just one, and only one.

Contacte un juez si ha esperado más de tres meses por una evaluación.

"para"

Correct.

Also, I've pointed some, but there are more instances where there was a missing article at the beggining of the phrase. "(Los) efectos de sonido solamente no son considerados música." ; "(Algunos) juegos que son Shareware, Freeware o proyectos personales pueden o no ser aceptados a nuestra discreción.", etc. Not necessarily incorrect, but sounds weird.

Yes that part indeed sounds a little weird, but the translation of that section is pretty hard because of all the "internet terms" that don't have a translation at all. If you can make a better translation we can discuss it.

And that's all I found, hope it may be of some help.

[Sir_NutS]

That part of the translation seems to be okay, but the bolded article below needs to be pluralised.

Este documento describe el proceso para presentar música a OverClocked ReMix y los estándares por los cuales tales materiales presentados serán evaluados. Presentando su música al sitio, está aceptando nuestra Política de Contenido; por favor léala antes de proceder.

Correct, but the bolded word should be: "Al Presentar" o "Al enviar"

[dkb]

I'm Japanese visitor. Thanks for including a Japanese translation in this term.

Those Japanese texts are well good.

Japanese reader will understand enough even it, and it will be completion if it revised the part of Martin said.

However I notice some strange translations.

Ongaku no Seisaku

http://www.ocremix.org/info/Ongaku_no_Seisaku

"Seisaku" (政策:Policy) is a political parlance as also said by Martin.

And "Seisaku" has another same pronunciation Kanji "Seisaku" (制作:Create).

It's likely to be confused.

Though it is difficult to apply an appropriate term to the "Content Policy" of the word in Japanese, these word are maybe suitable

"楽曲の規約" (Gakkyoku no Kiyaku: Rule of music)

In formal write: "楽曲の提出、および二次使用に関する規約" (Gakkyoku no Teishutsu, oyobi Nijishiyou ni kansuru Kiyaku: Music submitting, and rule concerning the second use)

or Just "コンテンツポリシー" (content policy in Japanese Katakana) might be OK.

Mokuhyou

http://www.ocremix.org/info/Mokuhyou

"目的" is read as Mokuteki (Mokuhyou is 目標).

Both meaning are almost same. You can choose one.

[Raziellink]

Where the hell is the Dutch version?

[Choccy]

Mexican here.

Aside from what SG3K already posted, everything is ok to me. Some of his corrections sound funkish, but that is because many terms differ from our Spanish and theirs.

One thing, for example, is the use of "Arcada" referring to Arcade, but in Mexico the machines are referred as "Arcadias".

Anything besides that, I also read Sir_NutS reply on SG3000's translation. I found all his remarks correct.

[Hynnin]

A portuguese version should go well too...

Focusing on french, spanish and japanese for now is a good idea, but you should make plans for future translations to make sure we embrace an even larger parcel of population

[Jaybell]

How big is this whole translation project going to be, out of curiosity? Is there going to be a translation of each individual writeup?

[esperz]

French guy here.

Pascal's translation is excellent, almost impeccable. There is and will be minor differences between the two major dialects... but no French speaking person is going to misconstrue anything written here.

Any corrections I have is academic and petty in nature, so it won't even be mentioned. GJ Pascal.

[Magewout]

Where the hell is the Dutch version?

It's harder than you think. I started working on it, but had to stop because of uni exams, and I haven't found the time to continue

[CC Ricers]

I'll give a hand to help fix the Spanish version.

In the Submission Standards and Instructions page:

1. Su material presentado debe un arreglo original de su autoría.

Add the verb "de ser" after "debe" to make must into must be. Right now, "debe" can be mistaken for the word "owes".

[Filodemo]

A portuguese version should go well too...

I''m no brazillian but I heard there are more videogame nerds in Brazil then the entire South America and Spain combined, so this makes sense...

[Vilecat]

Correction for the french version of the mission: "Distribuer de la musique gratuite de qualitée à l'échelle de la planète."

"qualité" doesn't take a e at the end.

If you want to shorten, you could use "à l'échelle mondiale." or "à l'échelle planétaire".

No idea if I'm being picky but "de la musique gratuite" sounds strange. Gonna have to ask Doulifée or some other lolfrench guy ;P

Edit: I think I saw another mistake in the submission standards but it's class time. I'll look it up again later.

[Clairval]

French version of the Content Policy

---

ENTRE : Le(s) artiste(s) qui soumet(tent) du contenu musical (l’ « Artiste ») ET : Le site hébergeant les œuvres musicales et ses entreprises affiliées (« OverClocked ReMix »).

I'm no lawyer, and I know how much the french juridic vocabulary can be codified, but wouldn't it be more limpid to specify (désigné dans le reste de ce document sous le terme d' « Artiste ») and (désigné dans le reste de ce document sous les termes « OverClocked ReMix »).

Edit - I forgot : I claim here and today the opening of a campaign against the "œ" character. Come on, nobody binds that much vowels in calligraphic french, what's more that thing is used in 5 common words, and 95% of the people don't know how it is pronounced when not followed by a "u". You know that it's just some elitist French Academy cerebral mast*******.

---

L’évaluation, l’acceptation et/ou le rejet du contenu soumis sont à l’entière discrétion d’OverClocked ReMix.

Well, my version of that sentence may lead to discussion, since that "and/or" precision is not in the english policy. I know, I'm a freaking perfectionist, but the reason why french is still one of the two official international diplomatic languages is because it's a very precise one : a contract correctly written in french cannot lead to misinterpretation.

---

Again, I have no idea of the juridic standard - what's more I'm a common user of 5-lines sentences, but in :

OverClocked ReMix se réserve le droit de retirer à tout moment tout contenu qui contrevient aux Standards de soumission et instructions ou pour lequel une requête en ce sens est présentée par un tiers détenteur des droits d’auteur.

Would it hurt to add a comma after "instructions" ?

---

L’Artiste est libre de distribuer son contenu ou d’octroyer à un tiers une licence de son contenu à la double condition que ledit contenu ne soit pas attribué à OverClocked Remix et que la distribution et la licence ne contreviennent pas aux termes de cet Accord de soumission de contenu.

Same thing, before "à la double condition".

---

Une requête en ce sens sera évaluée en fonction des meilleurs intérêts de la communauté.

Well, in french "best interests" is just a full pleonasm. I suggest to shift the superlative from the communauty interests to our intention of respecting them :

Une requête en ce sens sera évaluée dans le plus grand respect des intérêts de la communauté.

---

OverClocked ReMix concède à toutes les parties une licence limitée, non-exclusive, non-transférable et universelle pour les droits d’utilisation, de distribution, de représentation publique [...]

---

For the end of the text, I just couldn't survive the comma fest. Sorry.

'hope I helped a bit.

P.S. The reading of this policy made me realize how close from the Creative Commons' one it is. Why not using a version of CC that is already translated into several languages ?

[Vilecat]

French version of the Content Policy

---

ENTRE : Le(s) artiste(s) qui soumet(tent) du contenu musical (l’ « Artiste ») ET : Le site hébergeant les œuvres musicales et ses entreprises affiliées (« OverClocked ReMix »).

I'm no lawyer, and I know how much the french juridic vocabulary can be codified, but wouldn't it be more limpid to specify (désigné dans le reste de ce document sous le terme d' « Artiste ») and (désigné dans le reste de ce document sous les termes « OverClocked ReMix »).

Edit - I forgot : I claim here and today the opening of a campaign against the "œ" character. Come on, nobody binds that much vowels in calligraphic french, what's more that thing is used in 5 common words, and 95% of the people don't know how it is pronounced when not followed by a "u". You know that it's just some elitist French Academy cerebral mast*******.

---

Actually it's a basic typography rule to have the o and e together this way for specific words. And that notion applies to more than just "elitist French Academy cerebral mast*******" like you put it

If it was written without the ligature, it would be a mistake. It's simply because of the etymology in this case.

Edit: agreed for the whole comma thing

[jonmusician]

also "cualificar" is misued, it should be calificar or in its less literal translation "aplicar"

now aplicar also means apply but also means qualify, it's a semi-false cognate

cualificar means to count volume, to measure.

[PriZm]

French version of the Content Policy

---

ENTRE : Le(s) artiste(s) qui soumet(tent) du contenu musical (l’ « Artiste ») ET : Le site hébergeant les œuvres musicales et ses entreprises affiliées (« OverClocked ReMix »).

I'm no lawyer, and I know how much the french juridic vocabulary can be codified, but wouldn't it be more limpid to specify (désigné dans le reste de ce document sous le terme d' « Artiste ») and (désigné dans le reste de ce document sous les termes « OverClocked ReMix »).

Edit - I forgot : I claim here and today the opening of a campaign against the "œ" character. Come on, nobody binds that much vowels in calligraphic french, what's more that thing is used in 5 common words, and 95% of the people don't know how it is pronounced when not followed by a "u". You know that it's just some elitist French Academy cerebral mast*******.

I don't think the "désigné dans le reste de ce document sour le terme (...)" would be necessary. I don't see how the current form could be misinterpreted and brevity is probably better than juridic mast*******. About the oe, I would not expect the content policy the misspell words because their correct spelling appears pretentious to some.

L’évaluation, l’acceptation et/ou le rejet du contenu soumis sont à l’entière discrétion d’OverClocked ReMix.

Well, my version of that sentence may lead to discussion, since that "and/or" precision is not in the english policy. I know, I'm a freaking perfectionist, but the reason why french is still one of the two official international diplomatic languages is because it's a very precise one : a contract correctly written in french cannot lead to misinterpretation.

I'm not sure whether it is the "and" or the "or" that determines the verb conjugation, but in that case, I agree that "sont" sounds more elegant.

Again, I have no idea of the juridic standard - what's more I'm a common user of 5-lines sentences, but in :

OverClocked ReMix se réserve le droit de retirer à tout moment tout contenu qui contrevient aux Standards de soumission et instructions ou pour lequel une requête en ce sens est présentée par un tiers détenteur des droits d’auteur.

Would it hurt to add a comma after "instructions" ?

Yes it would. A comma is never supposed to precede "ou" unless

1) "ou" is used more than one time in the sentence

2) poetic license.

L’Artiste est libre de distribuer son contenu ou d’octroyer à un tiers une licence de son contenu à la double condition que ledit contenu ne soit pas attribué à OverClocked Remix et que la distribution et la licence ne contreviennent pas aux termes de cet Accord de soumission de contenu.

Agreed, a comma here would be better.

Une requête en ce sens sera évaluée en fonction des meilleurs intérêts de la communauté.

Well, in french "best interests" is just a full pleonasm. I suggest to shift the superlative from the communauty interests to our intention of respecting them :

Une requête en ce sens sera évaluée dans le plus grand respect des intérêts de la communauté.

Agreed, it does sound better.

OverClocked ReMix concède à toutes les parties une licence limitée, non-exclusive, non-transférable et universelle pour les droits d’utilisation, de distribution, de représentation publique [...]

Yes.

For the end of the text, I just couldn't survive the comma fest. Sorry.

'hope I helped a bit.

P.S. The reading of this policy made me realize how close from the Creative Commons' one it is. Why not using a version of CC that is already translated into several languages ?

That seems kinda rude. How would you suggest to present the multiple enumerations if not with a deadly comma-fest ?

Same thing, before "à la double condition".

[Clairval]

I didn't want to be rude (rereading myself, I apologize for my bad-day-cruel-tone). I really understand the need for comas, that was just an unelegant way to describe the lazyness their number inspired to me.