Meteo Xavier

Finally, as the fires were put out and most of the gifts were salvagable by Meteo Xavier's accidental shenanigans, the entire guest list was assembled in the Grand Viewing room for where they were to focus all of their birthday intentions on the Lord Chamberlain, the Right Honorable Coop. During the evening, the Good Old Boys had noticed Meteo's pentant for Sparkling Green, the punch. He took 5 glasses in his first visit and 5 more in his second. As per the curriculum, Captain Wacky had secretly sealed off the punchbowl, infiltrated within it a liquid of unknown origins, and secured the last glass for Meteo Xavier. While this was happening, Schwartzvald, the Executive Director under direct supervision for the Lord Chamberlain, was approached by Countess Bleck and made aware of a certain, aristocratic coup d'état and for that Schwartvald agreed. Meteo Xavier was placed in the center seat of the theater where he gorged on his mighty ambrosia of Sparkling Green and waited, as others did, for the Official Address from the Lord Chamberlain. 15 minutes later, Schwartzvald took to the podium and spoke on behalf of the Executive Direction. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that there is a great abundance of ASS in this room... AND IT ALL STEMS FROM A SINGLE SOURCE!!!!" Like the crack of lightening, the entire guest list turned to Meteo Xavier, who was now fat as a Hutt, and entirely circular. The effects of the unknown liquid took their toll on him in record volume. He opened his mouth to speak, but only Sparkling Green come out, like a waterfall, and he farted with the intensity of the end of the world. "Cheezus Christ!" cried Earl OA. "Sweet Heavens!" shouted The Author. "Holy fucking shit!" screamed The Prophet. "My God, someone call an ambulance!" cried The Derrick. "God **** it, Meteo!" discussed Rajah Anso. "What the hell, Meteo!" exasperated Overlord Level 99. "What sort of a pox is this, I ask!" answered Sheriff Nekofrog. "Blasphemy!" defied Sheriff Sammy D. "Rot, what an idiot!" defined Shah Salzman. "Look, he got it all over the floor! The fucking floor!" refined Pope Palpable. "My dress is a fucking mess!" shrieked Duchess BGC. "You're one hell of a dumb fuck, you schmuck!" screamed Transylvania Consulate Diotrans and the entire crowd descended on the pillar of a mess that was once Meteo Xavier. "Please, good people! Hear my words of innocence so that justice may be averted!" But the minute Meteo began his righteous cry for the rights of people everywhere, he sharted like a manure field in a hurricane and the commonwealth removed him from the premises once and for all! Never to return to upper class society ever again! As the crowd regained their seats, a spotlight shown on the Lord Chamberlain Coop, and Count Bleck, Captain Wacky, Emperor Charlemagne and the other guy I can't remember all came out onto the stage and took a bow. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COOP!" And Coop shed a tear in jubilation. It was the greatest birthday gift he had ever gotten...

Meteo Xavier, a man long regarded as the missing piece in mankind's everlong puzzle of why God hates good people, arrives to The Coop's birthday scene, uninvited as usual, and proceeds along a proscenium archway filled with the contemptuous stares of the upper class aerocrats. Meteo had started things off on the wrong foot by parking his car in a VIP section on the Northern terrace (breaking the fountain and exterminating Coop's prized gold rose bushes in the process), failed to present an invitation much to the house staff's eternal chagrin, and entered the building from a fire exit, effectively soaking the entire guest list in their Lux Magnum Tuxedos and expensive Royal Carradine dresses. The stares only grew louder but still beneath the collective hush over the crowd that would have signaled Meteo out as he entered the Grand M'raude. This exquisite hallway was once a segue for Kings and other assorted Royalty to meet for their executive appointments from one pavilion to the other. Now it was a vein to the main royal party room where presents and the cake and catering where all held. "Oh, Saints! What is that fool doing here?" growled Count Bleck from a corner with his largest constituents. "I say!" cried Duke Slut as he swished a glass of L'entouille 1778. "You're right to cry foul, old boy. That wayward clod has trampled into yet another one of our exclusive soirees!" "Damn fool..." whispered to unsweetened terms from the Emperor of Charlemagne. "I wish the disease that strickens him would think to maraud the lower classes once in a fucking while..." From a distance, there was a short series of uptight yelps and cries from the eastern crowd to which Meteo had descended upon. His magic tricks fell on dumb luck as the old Looy's Sooperman, a favorite to very retarded youths in a gutter with no hope of ever being educated beyond the streets of Sussex, somehow covered Constable Halt and his attractive 23-year-old buxom wife in chocolate icing from head to toe, while he stumbled upon the table finishing a sentence the honorable Judge Oji and crushing the ice sculpture of Jon Talbain onto his bodess. Unaffected, Meteo bounced to the other side of the room, where his landing step caught Lady DragonAvenger's dress trail and tore the whole thing right off her and carried off into Meteo's obnoxious hurried footsteps. The poor lady screamed and screamed in humiliation, but her cries were drowned out by the sounds of pictures being taken. "I say, chaps." Bleck started slowly as he puffed his gold-rimmed Saint Augillo XVIII cigar. "I think it's time this Meteo Xavier was educated in the fine art of aristocracy..." "What do you mean, old boy?" "Well, as honorary statesmen representing the people, it is our duty to do what we can for the interests of the commonwealth. With great power comes great responsibility..." and he narrowed his rat-like eyes beneath that impossible afro he likely stole from a passing Nigerian and pointed towards the galavanting Meteo Xavier. "and gentlemen, we have a GREAT responsibility before us..." "Just like in the War!" cried Captain Wacky, former sniper for the King's Royal Rifle Corps of the 7th Armoured Division who often dreamed of driving a Vickers Medium Mark II right up the narrow anal cavity of Meteo Xavier. "Here here! Yes, my fellow colleagues, we shall endeavor ourselves to educating young Master Xavier in how WE do things around here, or I shall scream brassafrax!" and with that Emperor Charlemagne began a game of pocket pool. "Right, lads. So here is what we do..." and he huddled his good friends together and brought his voice soft to a whisper as he detailed the "curriculum vitae" for the poseur pauper. Meteo Xavier, meanwhile, had informed the guests as a whole, very loudly, that he means to step outside for a piss. He found what he thought was the top hedge of a "Melaleuca Howeana" and urinated the entire Strait of Gibraltar on its green flesh. He was mildly embarrassed to find it was, in fact, the right honorable Queen of England.

My financial situation changed today, probably for the better (for a change), so I'm considering putting some money towards investments in Kontakt. I thought there was a list somewhere of a whole bunch of company websites for people like Impact Soundworks who deal in Kontakt libraries. Mostly, I'm looking for libraries to help me work on more general stuff for instead of wild, experimental ambience and soundscapes and stuff. So more generically applicable electronica or remixing/scoring work. Yeah, I'm having a hard time specifying better than that. I've been looking at the EVOLVE MUTATIONS stuff from NI and the first sound set sounds close to some of the stuff I'm looking to do. I don't need any piano or orchestral stuff since I have the Composers bundle from EW, but I could always use more VOX/CHOIR, ETHNIC, ELECTRONICA kind of stuff. I'm not even sure of a direction I want to take just yet, I just wondered, besides Sound Impacts kinda stuff, what were some other sure-fire stuff to get with my KOMPLETE setup here.

What do you use to do your lettering? I really like your lettering...

No one's going to mention Yasunori Mitsuda's CREID, KIRITE or SAILING TO THE WORLD?

I'd be crazy not to plug my album like the bottom-feeding, one-legged, whore that I am.

I can't figure out why, it might actually sell that way...

How much you want for that FFVII?

When I get this house I'm trying to buy, I will have much more free room outside as well as two walking/running trails to enjoy. I plan to exercise without a gym for the first year. What sort of exercises can I do to lose weight/fat from my torso area? I've been unable to do serious exercise for over a year now and I refuse to get fat before my time. Let me make use of my new area. Thanks.

I was thinking more in terms of something like Atelier Iris or Legend of Mana sound sets - packages that weren't on the AAA side of production but could let me get some decent work done without stressing my computer out too much.

Same thing happened to me back in January

I totally forgot about that, I was wondering why it's so cheap. Are there any licensed versions out there or a different Kontakt GM set you might recommend?

www.typhoonsounds.com They have some cheap sound libraries that are (supposedly) from the Yamaha Motif series, the Phantom-X, a chiptune set and a new sound library that I guess had a wide range of stuff in it. The ones based off the Workstation keyboards are the ones I'm most interested in (they're $39 each), but their demos are quite few for what they offer and I was wondering if anyone worked with these or could vouch for their quality. I've always wanted to work on a Motif and this might be a good way to do so, but I can't seem to find any samples of it.

Why, was "Google it" taken? Don't write things like this to people asking for a little assistance in their stuff. It is a benefit to both parties to actually help someone asking for help instead of passing off the answer in such a way.

Some of Nutritious's mixes make me dizzy trying to imagine actually sitting down and coming up with all that.

I thought we had a decent presence in Australia (considering how many regulars here are over there), but any reason to have another awesome podcast is ok with me. I'll check it a bit later.

My remix (http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR01790/) had so many layers that it about wouldn't process. I'm trying to count them: - Acoustic guitar, like 2-3 different samples - Piano - 3-4 different choirs - Over a dozen SFX and other samples - French Horn - Really terrible violin - Taiko Drum - 6-8 different string sets - Synth bell - Bass guitar (I think) - Synth Pad - Loud Splash Cymbal - Bell Tree - On average about 6-7 other things I know I put in there to fill out the sound structure that I can't remember.

FL Studio itself has a problem if you go above 2GB RAM unless you're using an extended memory version, and even then it might be a problem (I haven't dared to stress those limits myself yet.)

"Peppers" as a game title rolls off the tongue in a strange way... I want to look further into this. Let's have a lil' look. EDIT: Wait, didn't Jill sing for an anime OP or something a couple years ago?

Summer 2010 is going to be a Loooooooong time away...

I remember studying a lot of David Arkenstone about this time last year when I was starting to build ideas of what I wanted to actually do and how popular New Age music sounds. Vangelis I also listened to a lot for this Berlin School style track I was trying to do but cut in favor of Track 7. Thanks man!

Thanks man!

Ugh, those are terrible. Happy Birthday Audio Fidelity!

How did you get Moby? Is he doing original music or contributing one of his album pieces? Last I heard, if you wanted to use some of his existing catalog in a film, it was free.

Well, what does? How else do you determine if something is good? You don't say with a straight face "No, man, it was awesome, it really was... I just didn't like it." That doesn't make any sense.