I'm not as big of a fan of this mix as the previous poster, and from an objective standpoint (which is what I try to take when I do mod reviews) I have to come down even harder on this mix. I don't think it's close to being able to pass the panel, unfortunately
Some issues that stand out most to me - the vocal clips come across as pretty gimmicky, especially since they're repeated so often throughout the song. The codec noises toward the end were a much nicer touch.
The synth choice and the arrangement in general is probably the biggest problem bogging this mix down though. I don't mean to be harsh, but it's a textbook example of generic techno and that kind of stuff doesn't generally tend to fly on the OCR panel. There's a few moments where you get some sonic embellishments or glitch effects that really stand out above the rest of the mix, but they're few and far between and the building blocks of your track aren't interesting or unique enough to give this song much of an edge.
My recommendation - chalk this up to a learning experience and keep expanding your abilities in future mixes, taking time to search for more unique sounds, using more processing and effects, and coming up with less repetitive arrangement ideas. I think it would take too much effort to get this up to the OCR bar that you could better apply to making new mixes.
I know I've come across pretty harsh on this mix - it's not that it's necessarily bad, and given the source it's actually a pretty good adaptation, it's just that sonically, your mix is very plain and there's not much to set it apart from all the other techno/dance mixes that go past the panel, aside from the vocal effects which grew stale fast, as well. Hope you're able to see where I'm coming from and why this probably isn't suited for the OCR panel - lemme know if you need anything expanded or clarified!