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Cheesy/Horrible/Memorable Quotes In Video Games


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Obey! Conform! Abstain! Ignore! Deny! Refrain! Cease! Appease! Shun! ... Avoid new sensations. Avoid all sensations! Avoid any sensation! Avoid unnecessary pleasantries! Avoid necessary pleasantries! Avoid libation! Avoid fermentation! Avoid all these in combinations. Save often! Floss regularly! Floss meaningfully! Floss athletically! And above all, never forget: who is the Boss of you? Me! I am the Boss of you!

-Grand Inquisitor, Zork Grand Inquisitor

Oh my god, I love you.

My mom is a huge Zork fan, from the text adventures through Nemesis and Inquisitor. At a certain point, she and I would run around the house pointing at each other going, "Who is the boss of you? ME! I AM THE BOSS OF YOU!!"

speaking of Nemesis-

"Speak up Sartorius... I. Can't. Hear. You."

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"So I locked on a heat seeker on him and BOOM! Turned him into kitty litter!"

-Maniac, Wing Commander III

Heh, heh. Totally forgot that one. Shotglass from WCI had some pretty good lines too.

"Now you've done it, Roger Wilco."

-Message that you done fucked up in space quest.

I always felt the "pantload" one was better (I mentioned that one earlier, didn't I... I hope....).

I did just remember another few though:

"How's that? I'm the Satan of Martial Arts."

- Joe Higashi (KOF '98 )

A few from Full Throtte:

"Warning! Do not play in or around dumpster. Do not kick dumpster. Do not sleep in dumpster. Usage of this container for the disposal of human remains, may be in violation of local health ordinances."

- sign by the dumpster in Full Throttle

(looking through the landfill operator's basement window)

"Either someone's doing some welding down there, or we're talking about some very sub-code wiring."

- Ben

(Ben) "I heard you saved my life."

(Miranda) "Yeah, but don't worry. I wasn't trying to. I was just looking for some nice roadside disasters photos, and you helped."

(Ben) "Who'd want a picture of me bleeding?"

(Miranda) "It's not the blood, it's the way you were all twisted up like a pretzel."

- a quick conversion between Ben and Miranda in Melodweed (yes, Melonweed)

And ever better:

(Sam) "My little buddy here needs to use the facilities."

(Max) "Facilities be damned! I need a bathroom!"

- Sam and Max (Sam & Max: Hit the Road)

PS Might think of some more later.

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Fisherman: "Biggest crab I ever caught!"

Link: "It's a Goma!"

Fisherman: "Hey, you're pretty good. Here ya go!"

*sword pops out of nowhere and flies toward Link*

Link: "Wow, thanks!"

- Legend of Zelda: Faces of Evil

Impa: "Oh my! It looks like everyone has been taken to Tykogi Tower!"

Man: "This is illegal, you know..."

- Legend of Zelda: Wand of Gamelon

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Monkey Island 2:

"You fight like a dairy farmer!"

"How appropriate. You fight like a cow."

Monkey Island 3/Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade/Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine/Full Throttle/Sam'n'Max: Hit the Road:

"I'm selling these fine leather jackets.

Zelda/Super Paper Mario:

"I am Error."

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Hard to believe no one's quoted the dragons from the Lunar series yet.

Silver Star Story:

Nall: "I bet this teacher's so evil that her students bring her puppies to eat instead of apples."

Random Meryod resident: (paraphrasing) "Ya sure ya don wanna be mah gurl, miss?"

Jessica: "What, and make your cousin jealous?"

Eternal Blue:

Jean: "Statiscally, this [Taben's Peak] is where most of the robberies take place. Keep your eyes peeled and your hands on your valuables.

Ruby: "Ronfar! Get your hands out of your pants!"

Ronfar: "Just followin' the lady's orders!"

Ruby: "Get with the program already!"

Lucia: "Yes, I'd like to join this program very much. Where do I sign up?"

Nall: "Who are you calling annoying, you little brat?"

Ruby: "Okay, read my lips. YOU!"

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