Self-Help Authors and Change

[Dyne]

I'm curious about this, and thought that maybe the community might be of help with this. I've recently started reading a certain self-help author, and thought that maybe someone might shed light on any opinions they might have. Now, I realize this thread might belong elsewhere, but until the moderators see fit, I'd like to ask that it be left in Community, because I think it's a beneficial topic for everyone to read, and doesn't deserve to be sent to the Help forum.

So, the author in question is Anthony Robbins. He's written such books as "Awaken the Giant Within" and "Unlimited Power" which both outline ways and means to change your life. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I know that what I've been reading so far has been helping, and may just be what I've been looking for to have a profound effect on myself to help me change my life. As it stands, or stood, thus far, I've been running from myself, been depressed, and dissatisfied with life as it is now. But I've come to the belief that I can change, and that I can change my life into something better and beneficial for not only myself, but for others as well.

Therefore, part of this thread is also about how you, as a person, have changed after reading a self-help author's work, such as Anthony Robbins. How has it impacted you professionally, personally, financially? Have you had a better experience in your life? Have your beliefs changed?

I thank you for responding, and hope this generates some interest with all of you.

[djpretzel]

I haven't ready any self-help books, and actually used to make fun of my Dad for doing so. Kudos to being candid about it; admitting you read Anthony Robbins on the Internet is almost like wearing a huge American flag T-shirt while traveling in the Middle East.

I'm still skeptical, and the whole stand-up comedian line of "if you've got enough motivation to read a self-help book, you don't need any help" etc. comes to mind, but for me it's like religion: if you're getting something good out of it, with no short or long-term negative side effects, can't be too awful a thing. I find most of my motivation through other people's ideas - music, movies, mixes, books, etc. - and that to me is more effective, but I sometimes find motivational speakers strangely persuasive. I *want* to be snarky (and am), but there's also a degree of "this may in fact be bullshit, but if it even gets me *thinking* about things in a different way, regardless of how huge Anthony Robbins' chin is, it could still be worth something"...

[Mustin]

Agreeage. djp says how I feel except for "ready any" lulz

[Moseph]

It's not self-help per se, but I've found the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to be helpful in explaining to myself why I behave the way I do.

[Dj Mokram]

The whole stand-up comedian line of "if you've got enough motivation to read a self-help book, you don't need any help" etc. comes to mind

That sounds very much like George Carlin.

As it stands, or stood, thus far, I've been running from myself, been depressed, and dissatisfied with life as it is now.

But I've come to the belief that I can change, and that I can change my life into something better and beneficial for not only myself, but for others as well.

I've been through this not so long ago, so I really understand what you're talking about.

The main thing about changing, is that it involves making efforts.

And as strange as it may sounds, not a lot of people want to make a difference.

The moment you step out for yourself, and set in motion a course of action to put an end to this past part of your life, you're already different from 95% of the people.

The hardest thing to do isn't deciding to change. It's to start making the first step toward a better self.

And as far as I'm concern, you've already did.

This subject is highly interesting, and I would really like to take part in that convo.

As of now I don't have much time, but I'll come back to this thread later.

[IsolinearMoogle]

Apologies if I ramble; this was a great topic and I had a lot to say.

I feel like "self-help" has lost a lot of the negative stigma that it used to carry around not too long ago. I think five, ten years ago, I would have thought of "self-help" books as the loser's last resort... but now I have probably read about a half-dozen books (and subscribed to several blogs) that would have been at one point classified as "self-help" — I think the label is disappearing as well.

From my perspective, the world (and I mean that in a very personal, not global, sense) seems very different than it did when I was born, or what I imagine it was before that. People in this country (USA) commonly struggle with obesity, depression, autism, procrastination, abandonment issues — all of these are very real problems for many people, and the impression I get is that they were barely acknowledged 100 years ago or even more recently.

So, as a result, people have these issues. And let's face it. Public schools aren't perfect, parents aren't perfect, psychiatrists aren't perfect. At the end of the day, it is always up to us to notice the shortcomings in our lives and our actions and improve them. And hey, if reading a book helps any of us do that, great. Education is all about bettering ourselves and the world, right?

Two of my favourite bloggers that I would classify as "self-help" are Steve Pavlina and Scott Ginsberg. I have learned a lot from these two guys and the various books I've read, and have gone from nearly flunking out of high school to supporting myself and my wife in a 3-bedroom house from the income we make doing only things that we are truly passionate about.

Ginsberg is a huge proponent of having a "daily appointment with yourself"; time to reflect on your own personal goals and consider what you can do to make them happen. And this is really what self-help is, in a nutshell — whether it's self-directed or something you read in a book. And this is what so many people are lacking in their lives... I am disappointed by friends or acquaintances of mine who grumble their way through the workday, come home and watch TV for four or five hours, and do it all over again the next day, all the while looking forward to a retirement that is forty years in the future! That's no kind of life.

Thanks for bringing up this topic, Dyne. I am curious to see what others have to say.

[Meteo Xavier]

In my awful days I usually find myself remembering Solomon's prose in Ecclesiastes.

It also helps to know that, hey, you're going to die someday anyway, and you'll reincarnate 100 times before you ever come close to having a human problem ever again, so you have that to look forward to.

[DramaNoMore]

I'm currently reading Against Happiness: In Praise of Melancholy, by Eric G. Wilson, a book that speaks against the "happy-happy-ism" that's going on around the world's bookstores. Wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_Happiness.

I bought this one after every self-help book I read failed miserably...

[Kenobio]

It's not self-help per se, but I've found the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator to be helpful in explaining to myself why I behave the way I do.

Same here. I'm an INFP myself. I think I created a thread about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator a long, long time ago.

[prophetik music]

In my awful days I usually find myself remembering Solomon's prose in Ecclesiastes.

It also helps to know that, hey, you're going to die someday anyway, and you'll reincarnate 100 times before you ever come close to having a human problem ever again, so you have that to look forward to.

i didn't realize you were into that =) i know there's a few people around here that are into christianity, but i didn't associate you with them.

i think that passage in ecc. is excellent, as well.

[Meteo Xavier]

i didn't realize you were into that =) i know there's a few people around here that are into christianity, but i didn't associate you with them.

i think that passage in ecc. is excellent, as well.

I don't understand the sentence "I didn't associate you with them.", but I appreciate the sentiment. I like to mix Eastern and Western religions to sleep at night. Technically, God talks to me through video games, but this isn't the Religion topic, so....

[Dyne]

Thanks for bringing up this topic, Dyne. I am curious to see what others have to say.

You're welcome.

I've been slowly progressing through 'Awaken the Giant Within', and I'm starting to take notice of the things that are holding me back, and I must say, I don't want to believe the kind of hold things have on me. The biggest, most devastating thing is procrastination. I'm horrible at getting off of my butt to do things, but I still do things, so that's positive.

Still, as I analyze myself, my thoughts and beliefs, and my actions daily, I can't help but feel that I should have done this years ago, I feel as though I've lost the time I need to get things done in my life. I mean, here I am, 28 years old, I'm still living at home with my dad. That's no life. Okay, I understand if some people want to live at home, or have to for financial reasons, or because their parents are aging and they're not willing to send them to a nursing/retirement home. I get that, and that's okay. I just feel that I should be doing more with this life, and that by being at home, I'm being held back in what I can and cannot do.

Anyway, I welcome any and all comments in this thread, it's what it's here for. And I want to thank everyone who has commented so far. It honestly took some courage to do this, and I'm glad that those who've responded have done so in a respectful manner. So, thank you!

[Meteo Xavier]

You're welcome.

I've been slowly progressing through 'Awaken the Giant Within', and I'm starting to take notice of the things that are holding me back, and I must say, I don't want to believe the kind of hold things have on me. The biggest, most devastating thing is procrastination. I'm horrible at getting off of my butt to do things, but I still do things, so that's positive.

Still, as I analyze myself, my thoughts and beliefs, and my actions daily, I can't help but feel that I should have done this years ago, I feel as though I've lost the time I need to get things done in my life. I mean, here I am, 28 years old, I'm still living at home with my dad. That's no life. Okay, I understand if some people want to live at home, or have to for financial reasons, or because their parents are aging and they're not willing to send them to a nursing/retirement home. I get that, and that's okay. I just feel that I should be doing more with this life, and that by being at home, I'm being held back in what I can and cannot do.

Anyway, I welcome any and all comments in this thread, it's what it's here for. And I want to thank everyone who has commented so far. It honestly took some courage to do this, and I'm glad that those who've responded have done so in a respectful manner. So, thank you!

Well, you're not going to get anywhere in life on a forum, thats for sure.

Curt though that was, thats exactly the kind of mindset you need to get life "started", whatever that means. The push out is like a band-aid. There's all kinds of building up to it, but it only lasts a fraction of time.

Hell, at least you get to choose when you want to do it. I had to move out as a 21-year-old autistic college student, barely able to function as an adult, because my dad's crazy-ass 22-year-old Buddhist Fatal Attractionist girlfriend HUMILIATED me in front of my dad and threw my shit out on the street and told me to "fucking LEAVE" because I did not approve of their bed union. Hours later, she had the nerve to pretend everything was ok between us. Thats when I left.

Strangely enough, 3 years later pretty much on the DOT, I continue to survive and even thrive, to a point. This is with a series of behavioral and mental disabilities that I function in an apartment, own my own car, drive it, operate as a Church Council Secretary, job, school. I've grown exponentially just by that push. Fuck, man, I even got to save a battered woman, covered in spaghetti, from an abusive boyfriend who microwaves cats because I live in this apartment. How many other people in history get to say that?

Speaking simply as a layperson, I think you're overthinking it. You have a late start, but so what? You tell people you moved out when you were 28-29. What are they going to do? Beat you up? They'll probably just say, "yeah, I gotta do that soon, too." Adulthood is based on action, so act. Get your shit together, box it up, run some numbers, take a deep breath and

JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPP.

Within 7 months you'll be amazed how well you're doing. I swear it on the one Ocremix I have or will ever have.

[Ray Falling]

I'm curious about this, and thought that maybe the community might be of help with this. I've recently started reading a certain self-help author, and thought that maybe someone might shed light on any opinions they might have. Now, I realize this thread might belong elsewhere, but until the moderators see fit, I'd like to ask that it be left in Community, because I think it's a beneficial topic for everyone to read, and doesn't deserve to be sent to the Help forum.

So, the author in question is Anthony Robbins. He's written such books as "Awaken the Giant Within" and "Unlimited Power" which both outline ways and means to change your life. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I know that what I've been reading so far has been helping, and may just be what I've been looking for to have a profound effect on myself to help me change my life. As it stands, or stood, thus far, I've been running from myself, been depressed, and dissatisfied with life as it is now. But I've come to the belief that I can change, and that I can change my life into something better and beneficial for not only myself, but for others as well.

Therefore, part of this thread is also about how you, as a person, have changed after reading a self-help author's work, such as Anthony Robbins. How has it impacted you professionally, personally, financially? Have you had a better experience in your life? Have your beliefs changed?

I thank you for responding, and hope this generates some interest with all of you.

Interesting Good job for taking action to better yourself. I don't know a lot of people willing to do that.

"But I've come to the belief that I can change, and that I can change my life into something better and beneficial for not only myself, but for others as well."

I'm especially glad to hear you're taking other people into account as well, so it's not a selfish quest for finding personal glory.

I'm a big fan of discovering things about oneself and am all about becoming a better person.

I was personally 'touched' by God before I turned my life around after years of pain, depression, loneliness etc. So uhm, I didn't really read a book first, but I suppose you could say the Bible has been good for pointing out some practical things I didn't know at first.

At the moment I'm reading a book called (roughly translated) 'Rather happily messy, than unhappily perfect'.

It's about how to deal with perfectionism, which is kicking my ass since always and prevents me from doing things I actually enjoy, like writing and art, not to mention it impairs me at work.

I'm also reading a book 'Teaching yourself to think'. I'm not sure what to expect of it yet, but it covers some 5 methods of thinking and I figured that may be of some help with my stress related issues (they often come from me not thinking enough).

[abg]

Although I haven't read any self-help books, I've read books on similar subjects, and have listened to recordings, watched videos, and read articles and blogs on the internet. In everything I've read, I've noticed a recurring message. What it comes down to is that you are what you think you are. We forge our own realities based on how we percieve our world. People who seem to have everything going right for them are in that situation because they believed things would fall into place. On the flipside, people who are stuck in a rut are there because they think the world is out to get them.

A quote that sums this pretty well is actually from a book on negotation. Herb Cohen says, "Power is based upon perception- if you think you've got it then you've got it. If you think you don't have it, even if you've got it, then you don't have it." He's talking about the power to get the upper hand in a deal, but we empower ourselves in our day to day lives in the same way. Which is to say, believing in ourselves.

[SoulinEther]

The biggest, most devastating thing is procrastination. I'm horrible at getting off of my butt to do things, but I still do things, so that's positive.

Do tell: have you found any good books/writings on this particular subject? Does Robbins address this issue head-on in any of the books you've mentioned?

Maybe I should look into self-help, too. It's good that it's having an impact on you and I hope you can make the critical first step into changing yourself (where, in truth, I have constantly failed). Maybe it'll motivate me to get off my ass and take me where I want to be.

(maybe tomorrow. :/)

[The Pezman]

For a while I was looking into the material of David DeAngelo, of Double Your Dating. Not self help per se, but self help along the lines of working with women. Definitely seems to be one of the more popular and reasonable philosophies of its kind. However, I haven't really had success with it, and the female friends I've asked about it have universally shot it down. So while I still get the newsletters, I'm currently not giving it much credence.

In a more general sense, I get the feeling some of these books might be worth at least a read in the coming months and years...

[statas]

I'm still skeptical, and the whole stand-up comedian line of "if you've got enough motivation to read a self-help book, you don't need any help"

it's often more a case of not so much motivation, but re-inforcing positive behaviour patterns.

it's also good for pointing out ways to cope/deal/mitigate/etc with issues that might not have occurred to your natural way of thinking.

it's not everyone's cup of tea, but i have found some books to be helpful for me. you can't really fault anyone for wanting to better themselves, it's just some people have trouble figuring out how. I know that some of the books i have read have struck me as inane and asinine, but i can suppress my gag reflex and still manage to learn something from them.