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Are any of my old friends still alive?


Blaster Atoms
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So, I used to be known by a few people on here, back when there was an unmoderated forum, as "Mystico". Before that, so long ago that strong bad emails were relatively new, amazon.com was a book buying website, and dirt was white, I went by "frylok". Recently I've been thinking a lot about the past, good lord, fifteen years or so, feeling a mix of nostalgia and embarrassment, and wondering if anyone I was friends with before I exiled myself from here and unmod.org are still around today.

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Yeah, in it's own way, it is. Just another one of those "feel kinda old now" moments that seem to have become so prevalent over the last few years, and i'm only 32...

 

But at the same time, it's unsurprising. I think I was about 16 when I first wandered in so many years ago...then went pretty much straight to unmod. The effects that might have had on my developing teenage mind might explain a lot, lol.

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Unmod? Hot damn, that was a while ago - I only joined the site shortly before that was nuked, and I wasn't on the forums until after the infamous event happened. Funny that you're asking if people from unmod are still around when off-topic is nearly dead as well - almost no one comments on random silly stuff anymore. Kind of a shame, really; Facebook and other social media outlets really killed the energy on this forum outside of OCR's more specialized focus (music production, games, music production in games).

Oh well, even though I probably don't know you from the forums back then... Hey there! Hope you've been doing well over the last decade! :P 

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It's a shame that hardly anyone from back then is still around. I had a good handful of people I used to talk to a lot, on IM and such. Xenophule, Citris, Mad Bastard, Buttercup, Mahaboo, to name a few... I hope life is treating them ok.

I think the biggest reason I've been feeling nostalgic for old unmod, is that back then, the internet didn't seem to be quite as consistently angry of a place. Yeah, some people on there were angry at the world, thrived on an atmosphere of being edgy, but the concentration of people like that seemed lower back then. I've spent a bit of time on various imageboards, in the past five years or so, and holy fuck, are those some toxic places...they're like all the worst parts of old unmod, with the ratio of just plain assholes to fun weird people flipped around to where it's actually the majority of people making it terrible.

*heavy sigh*...no going backward, though, even when it feels like that would be moving forward.

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heh.

 

so last year, after months of working through it, i came out to my wife as a transgender woman and let her know that it was important for me to transition. she struggled with it for a while, but we've been together since high school and have two kids and are ridiculously co-dependent (and being married to a woman is not a deal-breaker), so we're doing pretty well. after meeting with a therapist, i began hormones last fall, and l, since then, I've come out to most of my friends and family to universal support and acceptance. which has all been great.

 

despite my almost entirely positive experience, the whole process has been an ordeal emotionally. I've been working through a lot of internal issues, relitigating a lot of my past experiences, worrying about the future, struggling with myself, etc. I'm not out at work yet (though I'm planning on coming out in the next few months), so that's been another big, soul-crushing source of stress and anxiety.

 

it's been a big change and more big changes will continue to come, even as much of my life remains stable. I'm so much more anxious and stress-filled, but still relieved and excited not to live dishonestly carrying this burden.

 

how bout with you?

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Hey, good for you. I would say don't let anyone fuck with you, and take no shit from anyone, but I'm glad to hear that the people around you are cool and supportive.

 

Well, my life lately...

I spent a long-ass time in the hospital last year, because I woke up at the end of last January(2017) paralyzed from the waist down, like, out of nowhere. Scared the shit out of me when it happened. I thought I was dying. I had a swelling in my spine, and it damaged the nerves. A little over a month in the hospital, and a month and a half in a nursing rehab home. That one sucked. A lot of sick(some dying) and unhappy old people in there. They discharged me mid April and gave me a walker to use. I learned a shocking lesson about how startlingly fast you lose muscle if you're bed-ridden. It fucking sucks. I lost my calves, and still haven't gotten them back.

Now, I still go to physical therapy but can walk around the house pretty good without a cane, but i bring it with me whenever I go out. While i was in there they diagnosed me with diabetes and high blood pressure. I've been on PILLS(I always refer to them in all caps, to show my dislike for them) for them since then, and fortunately, since I've been behaving myself, and lost some weight(still fat but somewhat less so) they'll hopefully take me off of them soon. I can't really drink while I'm on them, and I miss my occasional bottle of sake on a saturday night.

It's actually kind of funny. I still have some lingering effects from it, like a weird feeling in my legs constantly, and if i put an ice cube on my leg, it feels warm. When I get a cat scratch on my leg, instead of the normal feeling it's sort of spread out, and weird. But even with all that, since I've been watching what I eat, and drink, I'm actually technically healthier than I was before any of the stuff happened.

 

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On 3/13/2018 at 3:56 AM, Blaster Atoms said:

Glad to hear you're still around, Coop. Hopefully it's good stuff keeping you busy nowadays. You were one of the people actually adding some class to unmod back in the day.

Me. Adding class? When did that happen? :lol:

As for what's keeping me occupied, I'm still trying to get a business off of the ground (Dragonwolf Design) and I've put out two albums (The Journey Vol. 1 & 2, and I'm working on Vol. 3). Writing a trio of novels has kept me busy as well. Other than that, just the usual daily grind and trying not to end up on an episode of COPS.

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53 minutes ago, Blaster Atoms said:

What sort of albums? What genre do you work in? Considering, you know, we're having this conversation here, my first guess would be electronica. Also, what name do you use, as an artist?

And novels? That's especially cool. What kind of novels?

**buzzer** Your guess would be wrong, I'm afraid. They're Classical. Piano, Orchestral, Chamber Music... things like that. I use my real name for these and you can check out some of the songs on the albums at my Soundcloud here (it's a mix of my company audio work and my music)... https://soundcloud.com/dragonwolfdesign/sets

As for my novels, they're fantasy/fiction, based on characters I've had in my head since basically High School, and they're a planned trilogy. The music of my albums is actually based on scenes from these books as well.

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That's really bad-ass, Coop. I'm listening to some of those previews right now, and damn, dude, you're really good.

I didn't even know you were a musician. Do you have remixes up on this site?

Also, best of luck to getting those books written and published. That's one of those things I tend to respect, writing books. (bullshit books espousing bigoted religious or political views not included, of course, lol)

 

Also, consider me surprised that your name isn't "Cooper". Unless we were supposed to pronounce it "co op" the whole time?

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1 hour ago, Blaster Atoms said:

That's really bad-ass, Coop. I'm listening to some of those previews right now, and damn, dude, you're really good.

I didn't even know you were a musician. Do you have remixes up on this site?

Also, best of luck to getting those books written and published. That's one of those things I tend to respect, writing books. (bullshit books espousing bigoted religious or political views not included, of course, lol)

 

Also, consider me surprised that your name isn't "Cooper". Unless we were supposed to pronounce it "co op" the whole time?

Thanks, BA :)

I do have remixes here on OCR, but they're all from 2004 and earlier and sound... eh, not so good. My Youtube channel has much newer ones and some updated older ones that sound better thanks to my gaining more experience mixing... https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAVmAVd_3uYXKKN5yYKKoNA?view=

And my screenname is indeed pronounced Coop (like in chicken coop). I got it from an Alice Cooper song (Alma mater) from the line "Remember the coop, huh?" near the end.

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