This place is actually very accepting. You're not the first transgendered person to frequent the forums, and you won't be the last.
You chose to make that information about yourself public, and you didn't have to, so now you have to deal with people knowing and possibly reacting to that. People suggested that actor because they know what you are, because you told them what you are.
But what it really comes down to is this: stop harping on it. Stop bringing attention to it and stop getting offended all the time. It's like you look for an excuse to be offended anytime someone makes the mistake of referring to you with masculine pronouns.
You can shout it from the rooftops all you want, but to be perfectly honest, nobody really cares what you are. Gay, lesbian, bi, queer, straight, boy, girl, trans, white, black, brown, blue, French, laser, banana, whatever. Nobody cares.
Oh, and another thing: there's a very strong tradition in certain kinds of theater of men playing women's roles, as well as women playing men's roles. Not that it matters, because as I said before, nobody is actually making an OCR movie, so the entire thing is a moot point.