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New Computer Worm?

Elex Synn

By Elex Synn,
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Meteo Xavier Contributor

Meteo Xavier

Posted
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I think it was interesting when Charles Gibson called it the Conflicker Virus, not Conficker (which is German portmaneau for Configure Fuck or Confucker, Confuckure or whatever).

Anyway, we're fucked. It could be an awesome April Fool's joke, but c'mon, this is reality. I have to buy another computer from Brad now. We all will. Some little Russian 14-year-old fuck is going to claim lots of money and hold a lot of people for blackmail by implanting child porn on our computers, taking pictures of our desktops, demanding millions, and turning us in anyway.

This nation is going to go even further into bankruptcy. Our government systems will fail. Lots and LOTS of people will be international sex offenders and have their penises hacked off or vaginas sewn up with piano wire. We will be completely defenseless when the Taliban see their opportunity to strike us and by the time our corn fields become state-wide conflagrations of blood and rape shrapnel, they will join us in unholy massacre as the Russians, the bastards who got us into this, will finally have the chance to nuke us once and for all.

On the plus side, we'll get a kick-ass Alan Moore graphic novel out of it.

Toadofsky Newbie

Toadofsky

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Good thing I'm running Ubuntu Linux, but I'll probably unhook the computer from the net tonight, just in case.

As far as I know, it's only going after Windows OS.

I wonder why I'm asking this, but why do people get a thrill from making this junk? Why do they even make this crap in the first place? Just to say, yeah, I wrecked thousands of computers across the U.S.

Meteo Xavier Contributor

Meteo Xavier

Posted
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I wonder why I'm asking this, but why do people get a thrill from making this junk? Why do they even make this crap in the first place? Just to say, yeah, I wrecked thousands of computers across the U.S.

THOUSANDS? It could be MILLIONS.

Additionally, you might as well ask anyone why they get a thrill out of mortal sin. Someone does, for some reason, and thats why they do it.

Additionally, when is this virus supposed to activate? I know April 1st but..... its already April 1st in some parts of the world already....

Oh shit, it could be any minute now...

Elex Synn Newbie

Elex Synn

Posted
  • Author
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Good thing I'm running Ubuntu Linux, but I'll probably unhook the computer from the net tonight, just in case.

As far as I know, it's only going after Windows OS.

I'm probably going to follow this route and physically unhook my compy... Such a bother. :?

relyanCe Newbie

relyanCe

Posted
Posted

Just ran virus checks with 3 different programs and got nothin. Guess I might be safe?

I'm gonna laugh when all the virus does is change your desktop screensaver to an "APRIL FOOLS!" graphic.

Meteo Xavier Contributor

Meteo Xavier

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I certainly am not trying to come off Alarmist, I'm just saying, from the $730 new expense I call a computer after a virus ate my other one, that you have every reason in the world to be cautious about virus/hacker shit.

I spent nearly $1,000 to get this computer I bought from The Prophet of Mephisto up and running (which I love, thanks once again) and while I had the money for it, I don't think a lot of other people in this economy will.

Halt Newbie

Halt

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Its said this virus will be released tomorrow April 1st. HAR HAR HAR. Anyways. Just don't be opening anything you shouldn't and downloading stuff you're not too sure about its contents, and all should be good.

DjSammyG Newbie

DjSammyG

Posted
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Its said this virus will be released tomorrow April 1st. HAR HAR HAR. Anyways. Just don't be opening anything you shouldn't and downloading stuff you're not too sure about its contents, and all should be good.

quoted for common sense

The Author Rookie

The Author

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I certainly am not trying to come off Alarmist, I'm just saying, from the $730 new expense I call a computer after a virus ate my other one, that you have every reason in the world to be cautious about virus/hacker shit.

I spent nearly $1,000 to get this computer I bought from The Prophet of Mephisto up and running (which I love, thanks once again) and while I had the money for it, I don't think a lot of other people in this economy will.

... What is this shit?

A "virus" ate your computer to a point where you had to physically replace it?

That is some serious shit you had there...

Archaon Newbie

Archaon

Posted
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Its said this virus will be released tomorrow April 1st. HAR HAR HAR. Anyways. Just don't be opening anything you shouldn't and downloading stuff you're not too sure about its contents, and all should be good.

When you think about it, though, that's a pretty insidious way to design a virus.

Someone says "There's this worm going around that's supposed to activate on April Fools Day!" And then, oops, it's a genuine threat and nobody paid any attention because they assumed it was just a joke.

Arrow Newbie

Arrow

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From what I understand, the easiest way to make sure you're safe is just to check and see if Windows Update has been functional at all within the month of March, since one of the first things the virus does is cut WU out. Of course, running full checks to be safe would be smart, but anyways.

Halt Newbie

Halt

Posted
Posted
When you think about it, though, that's a pretty insidious way to design a virus.

Someone says "There's this worm going around that's supposed to activate on April Fools Day!" And then, oops, it's a genuine threat and nobody paid any attention because they assumed it was just a joke.

Yeah it is. It could get alot of people fucked over in the long run too. Something I hope does not happen to anyone from OC ReMix

Kyle Nin Newbie

Kyle Nin

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No shit.

Well, its April Fools Day, has anything/anyone crashed yet? Is Google still Google?

Google is still Google. At least, the last time I checked.

Also, where I'm at (near Chicago), it's not April 1st yet. So, doesn't that mean that it would do anything yet? Not that the time matters. From what I'm hearing there's not much anyone can do at this point. It's like a tornado ripping through your house. You can't do anything but watch.

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