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Your take on why is OCR so open and trusting


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Rather than contributing anything to the conversation directly, I will just tangentially contribute by posting a list of people from this site whom I have met IRL (in chronological order of meeting and separated by incident, if I can pull it off).

JesustheDarkLord

AlmightyTim

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MythrilNazgul

Shael Riley

Xerol

MithrilNazgul's ex-girlfriend who posted on here a few times I think

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(MeteoX maybe but I honestly don't remember him)

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djpretzel

Pixietricks

GeoffreyTaucer

DrumUltimA

Slut

DjSammyG

(three more people I don't remember but are in a picture from this meetup)

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FlankingLine

Pip

Mad Bastard

DJ Tempora

Oddllama

Orual

Red Omen

Fang

Iron Knuckle

Warmech

Ace!

Apologies if I have met you but don't remember!

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It might depend on the venue you first meet someone at...

This thought occurred to me a while back when someone asked if I felt uncomfortable going to meetups I was organizing at another forum (XKCD's fora, in this case). It actually hadn't occurred to me--after all, the venue was in an open, public area, over half of the folks going posted semi-regularly, and just by virtue of that it didn't feel as if I was meeting up with a bunch of strangers.

I'm not sure how I'd feel about inviting a bunch of them over to my house first thing, though. Level99, Xerol, and others have a lot of trust (not unfounded nor unreasonable trust, mind you) in doing that--incidentally, before Level99 let me in, the only thing he knew about me was my username and the Super Mario 3 reference on my car's license tag. KF

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It might depend on the venue you first meet someone at...

This thought occurred to me a while back when someone asked if I felt uncomfortable going to meetups I was organizing at another forum (XKCD's fora, in this case). It actually hadn't occurred to me--after all, the venue was in an open, public area, over half of the folks going posted semi-regularly, and just by virtue of that it didn't feel as if I was meeting up with a bunch of strangers.

I'm not sure how I'd feel about inviting a bunch of them over to my house first thing, though. Level99, Xerol, and others have a lot of trust (not unfounded nor unreasonable trust, mind you) in doing that--incidentally, before Level99 let me in, the only thing he knew about me was my username and the Super Mario 3 reference on my car's license tag. KF

And yet, the listening party was a blast, everyone had completely acceptable manners and nobody looked left out. That night was the first time I talked to quite a few of the people there, let alone met in person (I had met Jose, Bahamut, LionTamer, Moguta, and a few others previously, but many I was hanging in-person with for the first time). Nobody stole anything, nothing was trashed at all. In fact, the worst thing that happened was the crap that my drunk roommate did when he came home. Now, if the person you live with causes a bigger problem than any of those so-called "strangers", then you know your trust has been put in the right place. I could always be proven wrong eventually, though, but I'd never let one bad apple, if they appeared, spoil the rest.

Nice contribution, Kizyr :-o hope to have you over again soon, too!

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Now, if the person you live with causes a bigger problem than any of those so-called "strangers", then you know your trust has been put in the right place.

Yeah, you know, after what I've heard I think I'd feel a lot more comfortable inviting you to my place than accepting an invitation to your place, what with the drunk naked guys and everything.

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And yet, the listening party was a blast, everyone had completely acceptable manners and nobody looked left out. ... Nice contribution, Kizyr :-o hope to have you over again soon, too!

Man, I know! I really didn't want to leave when I had to (although in retrospect it did save me from... y'know). I hope to be back; I've just gotten incredibly busy in the past month with barely any time to rest (haven't had time to check the forums or IRC at all). I will be at MAGFest though.

I could always be proven wrong eventually, though, but I'd never let one bad apple, if they appeared, spoil the rest.

I think there might be a bit of social pressure mitigating against this, at least with people who are well-known around here. Like, say, if Darke needed a place to crash for MAG and stayed at my place (trying to pick someone well know I haven't met before). If he messed up the place and stole my stuff, it'd just be really weird, like Neil Patrick Harris stealing your car or something.

That make sense at all? KF

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My two cents worth:

It's trusting and it isn't

Remember the Magfest where people thought Ayres was going to bring a gun, and when he showed up and was taking pictures, he was thrown out and they tried to confiscate his camera?

People from OCR tend to be trusting, but are also prone to hype and hysteria. I've been so surprised at the amount of drama, the threats, real life BIG DEALS in the community, etc. etc. A lot of people don't go to meetups because they don't get along with those that do.

But there are always exceptions, and for the most part, people want to be open and friendly. I've found that the people I've met have all around been cool, even if I disagree with some stuff they do online, you CAN separate it.

But honestly it depends. Meetup mentality can be great and trusting and fun, and people become friends at meetups, but it can still be overridden by the online drama (see pixie and atma)

Also there are several instances where lines of trust have been broken in real life and people have been creeped the fuck out basically.

SO YEAH IT DEPENDS ON WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND WHO IS FRIENDS WITH WHO AND HOW THE PEOPLE ATTENDING FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER AND IF PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO LET GO OF THINGS OR IF THEY ARE GOING TO TRANSLATE THIS STUFF FROM ONLINE INTO REAL LIFE, IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON!!!!!!

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Well I've only been to one meet-up, but I think any of the people I did get to spend the afternoon with would totally be allowed to hang at my house. The impression I got from everyone was a certain amount of cautious apprehension, but once we got to talking, it was like we had all been friends all along, even though I had never even talked to several of them here at all.

I thought it was funny that the friends I ended up bringing up along acted worse than anyone at the meetup from the forums. I think the natural assumption is, if your cool enough to hang around the forums for a while, you're probably cool enough to hang out with in person. And so far as the one meetup goes, I don't see that as being false. I suppose there are some people I wouldn't get along with, but that's a risk that comes with any social gathering anyways.

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My two cents worth:

It's trusting and it isn't

Remember the Magfest where people thought Ayres was going to bring a gun, and when he showed up and was taking pictures, he was thrown out and they tried to confiscate his camera?

People from OCR tend to be trusting, but are also prone to hype and hysteria. I've been so surprised at the amount of drama, the threats, real life BIG DEALS in the community, etc. etc. A lot of people don't go to meetups because they don't get along with those that do.

But there are always exceptions, and for the most part, people want to be open and friendly. I've found that the people I've met have all around been cool, even if I disagree with some stuff they do online, you CAN separate it.

But honestly it depends. Meetup mentality can be great and trusting and fun, and people become friends at meetups, but it can still be overridden by the online drama (see pixie and atma)

Also there are several instances where lines of trust have been broken in real life and people have been creeped the fuck out basically.

SO YEAH IT DEPENDS ON WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND WHO IS FRIENDS WITH WHO AND HOW THE PEOPLE ATTENDING FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER AND IF PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO LET GO OF THINGS OR IF THEY ARE GOING TO TRANSLATE THIS STUFF FROM ONLINE INTO REAL LIFE, IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON!!!!!!

I've mentioned this to others, but I'm the one who was the worried one about Ayres - I don't think it was anyone else, but given the situation on the forums at the time, and some of the comments mentioned...it wasn't hard to understand why IMO. I'm the sole one responsible in that instance.

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I'd be fine with meeting a lot of people from online communities, but I wouldn't be so trusting to invite them is with other communities. OCR however is somewhat of an anomaly as far as forums go, it's small enough to be a community, big enough to be active, full of drama, yet everyone gets along and actually has discussions. I don't really know of any other forum like it in this regard. It seems like people who hang out around here are somehow a cut above average. I'd consider inviting people over after an afternoon of hanging out, depending of course on how many of them appear likely to pull a gun, or a knife, on me.

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Really the whole thing behind this "trust" can be summed up simply.

Internet != rl

People can be dicks on the internet and be the coolest people you'll ever meet at a meet-up. I've heard rumors that atmuh is a pretty cool dude.

Also the whole thing about there being more than one of you in a group, so naturally if one dude decides to fuck shit up, the rest of the group would probably decide to a) stop the person from doing that, or B) fuck that person's shit up.

Plus being in a community setting long enough, you tend to understand that no predators and generally fucked up people aren't going to hang out this long for a chance to go to a meet-up and mess with people. If they do, go back to previous point where this would be pretty impossible. Not only that, but I'm sure at some point there's been legitimate contact via IRC or AIM or PM or something where the person sheds their internet and starts talking like a real person, so there's some trust formed there.

Finally, what eula said, I go to meet-ups with cool people, so I'm generally not worried. I've never been to an OCR meet-up, but I have been to the last two "OCR affiliated" chicago meet-ups, and those are seriously the best thing. It could be because we have a lot of chicago locals that know what to do when people come in, or just we are really cool people. I can only assume the latter.

IMG_1284.jpg[IMG_1284.jpg[IMG_1284.jpg

chill dudes bein' chill and shit.

(for this meet-up, we split two hotel room's and supremespleen's dorm room up for all the housing)

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People can be dicks on the internet and be the coolest people you'll ever meet at a meet-up. I've heard rumors that atmuh is a pretty cool dude.

I've heard this rumor too. It would be surprising considering how unpleasant he is on the boards.

Honestly though I'm jealous when I see picks of peeps at their meet-ups. They just look like they would be a riot to attend. I live in Arizona and traveling long distances isn't really an option for me.

It would be fun to run into someone who is familiar with OCR. I don't know about instantly trusting them though.

Ducky how come no one in your pic is holding a drink? That's just wrong.

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Meeting people at OCR is like meeting people at a party. You don't necessarily trust, or even like those people you meet at a party, but the idea is that you each go to the party in good faith and with good intentions.

There's also another kind of accountability, and that is that if you're a total douche to others, people are going to see this and talk about it. So if you value your social standing in the community at all, it is simply in your best interest not to be a douche.

But, I reiterate what Darkesword said, I wouldn't trust most of you in my house either. Meetups happen in public places for a reason - it's not like, "Okay there's a meetup, let's meet at my place for the evening." No no no no no no no no.

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djpretzel

Pixietricks

MythrilNazgul

Xerol

GeoffreyTaucer

DrumUltimA

Slut

DjSammyG

(three more people I don't remember but are in a picture from this meetup)

The DC meetup with these people was at my apartment. Admittedly, I had already met Myf and Xerol before, and a lot of the other people were pretty high-profile members of the site.

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