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Phoned-in game endings [SPOILERS ABOUND]


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So, what are some games that you've played, no matter how good or how bad, how boring or charming, that when you got to the ending, you asked yourself "Well, why the fuck did I just play this game?"

Because sometimes it's glaringly obvious that video-game writers don't know the first damn thing about telling a story.

I'll post two, and see if anyone gives a damn enough to continue the topic. Your posts don't have to be as long as mine (who would even want to write that much?), but I just feel like ranting, so yeah.

Obviously, this will be spoiler-filled.

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340x_layton_diabolical.jpg

They should have called this game "Professor Layton and the Case of the Huge Fucking Plotholes"

Really, you can buy into the whole story of Dropstone, of the 'vampire', of the mysterious city of Folsense and its interesting history behind it; it's quirky, it's got some sincerity to it, and best of all, it has a whole sense of mystery leading into it. You go into the climax thinking "man, this is going to be great!" and all the cool events inside the castle happen...

And then Layton "solves" the whole mystery.

I swear, in Curious Village it was KINDA weird for all the people to be fake.

But to pull that off a SECOND time? REALLY? Not to mention all the mind-boggling questions it brings up, much more mind-boggling than any puzzle Layton threw at me. So, the people were fake and hallucinations, but they still were able to have memories and were aware of them being fake? And what about the people who WERE real... they just didn't realize that they had aged 50 years? That is some really fucking powerful gas underneath that castle, let me tell you.

Oh yeah, and throwing in Don Paolo was completely pointless. And the whole unsettling "well Paolo left Flora bound and gagged in barn I guess we'll get her later LOL" was funny considering how monstrously ungentlemanly Layton took the situation.

Phoned-in, man. Phoned-in.

And the worst fucking part is is that I'll fucking buy the third game of the trilogy no matter what, most likely to be let down. Again.

Because the people will all be time-traveling hallucinogenic robots or some shit like that.

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little_kings_story_wii.jpg

One of my all time favorite Wii games, it was a game I fell in love with the first time I saw the opening trailer for the mysterious "Project O".

It's really a charming, fun, enjoyable, and inventive game (difficult too!), and it's a blast to play (which makes its poor sales and CiNG's bankruptcy bring a sad- to my -face). It was also one of those rare games that actually made me think about why I was playing, and why I was playing the game the way I was, much like how Contact DS made me examine how I treated the characters in the virtual game world, as opposed to just running along willy-nilly. In short, I cared about the characters, I cared about the little army of soldiers going into battle with me, and actually felt bad each time one of them died, so I tried my hardest to conquer the world with as few deaths as possible.

Then we get to the end. The build-up is great. The big 'reveal' is touching and puts everything into perspective (all the misgivings I had about characters like Howser were erased in an instant), the final boss is very difficult, but appropriately so (who likes an easy final boss? Not me!), and then I get prepared for the ending...

A comment on youtube sums it up well

"LKS:

Great game, terrible ending"

After investing nearly 40 hours into the game, we get nothing. We get no closure. Not even an epilogue that said "and he ruled his kingdom happily ever after."

No. Your wife gets eaten by a fucking rat, and you stand face to face with your maker, and the game ends. The End, thanks for playing.

My goodness that was frustrating, and everyone who has played the game whom I've talked to (so like all 12 of them) basically echoed the same thing.

They could have spent ONE more day just making an actual ENDING to the game, and it would have been perfect. But that mars what SHOULD have been a tour-de-force. Instead, all it is is a really great game.

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So those are my examples.

What are some games whose endings really just sucked.

Also: Don't say something like Resident Evil 1. Don't lie, that's one of the best fucking endings ever and you know it.

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No, Layton says that they're all illusions. Or at the least, that's what HE says and Layton is ALWAYS right apparently.

And even if they WEREN'T (which is plausible), it's pretty damned hard not to NOTICE AGING. Yeah, that 5 year old kid somehow didn't notice THAT HE'S 55 NOW.

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The ending to Metroid always pissed me off. That one screened "Great! You saved everything! But the Other Metroid may be coming..." followed by the "big reveal" that Samus is a woman.

The effect may have just worn off with time, but those one-screen endings always struck me as super-lazy.

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mass effect 2

the big human-reaper final boss was pretty stupid, and the last few hours of the game essentially made it seem like the entire collector thing was a distraction, but don't worry, you'll learn more about the reapers next time. dumb.

also the last 2 or 3 hours of uncharted were lame. those zombies came out of nowhere. no, thank you.

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The ending to Metroid always pissed me off. That one screened "Great! You saved everything! But the Other Metroid may be coming..." followed by the "big reveal" that Samus is a woman.

The effect may have just worn off with time, but those one-screen endings always struck me as super-lazy.

Reminds me of Fallout 3. I HATE THAT ENDING. Oh, here's a series of still photos with Denzel Washington narrating them. Or was it Morgan Freeman? Whatever. Dumbest ending I've ever seen in a modern-gen game, and I've played BABY games with better endings. like Ben 10 or Cloudy with a chance of meatbulbs.

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Usually I see Mario 2 and Link's Awakening mentioned, which I find hilarious. It's like people invalidate all the fun they had, you know, playing the game, just because it was revealed that the game's setting was a dream.

Yeah, but Link's Awakening is titled, "Link's Awakening". The idea that this is all the dream of the Wind Fish, and you have to wake him up to leave, is actually brought up a couple of times during the game, so it's not as hardcore of a cop-out as Mario 2.

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Besides, I'd think that Link's Awakening is anything BUT a cop-out ending.

Seriously, it's why it remains my favorite amongst even other Zelda games.

Even though the island seems to be a living, breathing place chock full of characters with their own motivations; even though it means the end of all the characters, good and bad; even though he made friends with many of those characters and solved their various problems Link fights on to wake up the Wind Fish. He doesn't fight to save anybody, not even himself, but for the single-minded purpose of waking the Wind Fish.

Because that is what must be done.

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Reminds me of Fallout 3. I HATE THAT ENDING. Oh, here's a series of still photos with Denzel Washington narrating them. Or was it Morgan Freeman? Whatever. Dumbest ending I've ever seen in a modern-gen game, and I've played BABY games with better endings. like Ben 10 or Cloudy with a chance of meatbulbs.

This. What a letdown.

Also, the 'final boss' was ass. What kind of game lets you coerce the final boss to just go away?

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Sorry to go OT in my own topic, but dammit I love Link's Awakening.

Not only that, Gollgagh, but everything is built up right to the right point.

At the beginning, you're just sent exploring the island. Then the owl clues you in after Tail Cave that to leave the island, you'll have to wake the Wind Fish. You don't really know what that means, yet.

So you go about, making friends with the various island inhabitants, helping them out (like Richard, Marin, the animals, the ghost, etc.), but it's only until the Face Shrine you learn the truth of the island, and that's what really sets the quest off. After that point, all the nightmares in the dungeons have the express desire to stop you from making the Wind Fish wake up (the level 8 boss taunts you with that fact: "DID YOU KNOW... IF YOU WAKE THE WIND FISH... EVERYONE ON THIS ISLAND WILL DISAPPEAR! HYEH HYEH HYEH... EVERYONE!"), so going into the Wind Fish's egg, you know EXACTLY what you're getting yourself into. Personally (this is me playing the game), you don't WANT to wake the Wind Fish; you've grown attached to everyone on Koholint. But towards the end, it seems like they've accepted their fate, and urge you to go on, because you're a hero and that's what heroes do.

And of course, you fight the Nightmares/Dethl, who fight their hardest to keep the world from changing (so they can remain on top). But you defeat them, and you have yourself one of the more bittersweet endings in the Zelda franchise.

-sniff- I love that game...

OT:

Borderlands.

Fuck.

Fuck.

It really IS the equivalent of the one-screen NES endings back in the day.

"THANK YOU FOR DEFEATING THE VAULT MONSTER. YOUR QUESTS WON'T GO UNOTISED. NOW THE MONSTERS HAVE BEEN SEALED FOR ANOTHER 200 YEARS. GO TO TANNIS TO COLLECT YOUR PAY.

CONGLATURLATIONS ON PLAYING GREAT GAMES

THE END

...?"

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Did anyone ever play or even heard of Project Eden? An early PS2 co-op shooter game.

You went all the way to the ruined depths of society just for the mysterious mad scientist you've been tracking to put his dead daughters mind into a robot and wave goodbye...

i've never played this game so maybe it's just the fact that i have no context for it but this was hilarious, thank you

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No, Layton says that they're all illusions. Or at the least, that's what HE says and Layton is ALWAYS right apparently.

And even if they WEREN'T (which is plausible), it's pretty damned hard not to NOTICE AGING. Yeah, that 5 year old kid somehow didn't notice THAT HE'S 55 NOW.

Actually, the reason I think everyone was still there was because in the post-game, if you talk to people (like the aforementioned 5-year-old) some of them complain that they've been feeling a lot more tired lately.

I don't remember Layton saying the people were illusions. Just that the entire current appearance of the town was an illusion caused by the hallucinogenic gas.

The real reason the plot is so silly is because it teeters entirely on a bunch of photos at the train station and the idea that the effects of the gas are immediate.

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At the beginning, you're just sent exploring the island. Then the owl clues you in after Tail Cave that to leave the island, you'll have to wake the Wind Fish. You don't really know what that means, yet.

So you go about, making friends with the various island inhabitants, helping them out (like Richard, Marin, the animals, the ghost, etc.), but it's only until the Face Shrine you learn the truth of the island, and that's what really sets the quest off. After that point, all the nightmares in the dungeons have the express desire to stop you from making the Wind Fish wake up (the level 8 boss taunts you with that fact: "DID YOU KNOW... IF YOU WAKE THE WIND FISH... EVERYONE ON THIS ISLAND WILL DISAPPEAR! HYEH HYEH HYEH... EVERYONE!"), so going into the Wind Fish's egg, you know EXACTLY what you're getting yourself into. Personally (this is me playing the game), you don't WANT to wake the Wind Fish; you've grown attached to everyone on Koholint. But towards the end, it seems like they've accepted their fate, and urge you to go on, because you're a hero and that's what heroes do.

And of course, you fight the Nightmares/Dethl, who fight their hardest to keep the world from changing (so they can remain on top). But you defeat them, and you have yourself one of the more bittersweet endings in the Zelda franchise.

yeah that's exactly what I was trying to say

I guess it didn't come out quite so well

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Shmups that give you, in essence, "Congraturation! You are great!" and then credits. RPGs that do the same after playing for 40 hours.

Perhaps I was spoiled with the likes of Thunder Force IV and Phantasy Star IV, where the endings were rather long for their respective genres without being drawn out (like say, Golden Axe's ending on the Genesis). But the ending is part of the reward for beating the game. If you don't get that reward, the experience feels cheapened.

I can remember fighting my ass off against the final bosses of Shinobi and Thunder Blade, only to get a quick picture with "The End" on it. NOT EVEN FUCKING GAME CREDITS! Sure, playing is fun and all, but that last little bit called "the ending" is important. When you leave it out or make it unimaginably short, it just feels wrong.

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Reminds me of Fallout 3. I HATE THAT ENDING. Oh, here's a series of still photos with Denzel Washington narrating them. Or was it Morgan Freeman? Whatever. Dumbest ending I've ever seen in a modern-gen game, and I've played BABY games with better endings. like Ben 10 or Cloudy with a chance of meatbulbs.

While i agree with the fact that Fallout 3's ending sucked copious amounts of balls, it was Ron Perlman who narrated it; even better than Morgan Freeman...

I also second the Borderlands ending: that was the first game i was ever just dumbfounded by the ending... No twist, no "it was all just a hoax to keep you away from the real vault" or "you helped kill the keeper of the vault and now we're all fucked" endings which would lend some sort of credence to the second playthrough. No, just some 'YAY! you win' bullshit. ARGLE BARGLES!

I'm surprised that the infamously shit Halo 2 ending has gone unmentioned so far.

I'll add that Bioshock 2's ending, while not terrible, left a lot to be desired. I was surprised at how much better the game was than i was expecting, but it didn't carry much in the way of weight after the little sister sequence.

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Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

I played through Path of Radiance and this game, and had a huge investment in the characters (as you're meant to), only to get to the ending of the game where you have to fight the goddess of the world (Wait, what?).

But the ending was what really pissed me off. After everything I'd been through, the endings for many of the characters seemed extraordinarily phoned in. Especially Ike's, where it just says "Oh Ike just wandered off one day and was never heard from again." Never mind his personality, relationships with many of the characters, his obligations to his father's mercenary business, or anything else. He just wandered off, and died.

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Especially Ike's, where it just says "Oh Ike just wandered off one day and was never heard from again."

I've come to think of that as an unintentional Brawl tie-in. "Actually, Ike was invited to a large-scale tournament from another dimension. He went for it, and is now smacking noobs around until the end of time."

Hardly ideal, but it's a step up from what they gave us.

OT:

Borderlands.

I think it works, in a minimalist sort of way. 4NG3L throws a lot of melodramatic crap at you, which makes the ending itself jarring. But really, you were never supposed to be the hero who saves humanity or whatever. You were a merc, looking for a cache of valuable alien technology. Turns out that doesn't really exist, so you take what Tannis will give you and move on to the next job.

Then there's the caricatures in the intro, and the opening sequence to Zombie Island. It's strongly implied that the events of the game are just a bedtime story for his kids. Also that he's a bad storyteller(first Dr. Ned is actually Zed, then he isn't, it's a huge incoherent mess), but they don't seem to mind.

While I'm thinking about it, Zombie Island handled it much better, albeit with tongue firmly in cheek. "And then Dr. Ned was defeated, roll credOH GOD WHAT IS THAT."

EDIT: I'm suprised no one's mentioned the Obsidian games yet. NWN 2 was so they could whore out expansion packs more easily; that's a dick move, but it's logical at least. KOTOR 2, though...

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I may concede that from a story perspective, the ending to Borderlands may fit, but I think they could have done a LITTLE bit of a better job of making the player feel like he/she actually DID something worthwhile, outside of the high of actually beating the game.

I mean, all of the Half-Life endings are really fucking huge cliff-hangers and shit like that (Good God where is my Ep3?), but by the time of the credits of each game, or even before, towards the end, I always have felt that I really accomplished something. And after fucking taking on all those Striders and Hunters in Episode 2, you're damn right I felt like I did something important!

The real reason the plot is so silly is because it teeters entirely on a bunch of photos at the train station and the idea that the effects of the gas are immediate.

And like I said, not only is the gas's effects IMMEDIATE, they somehow stop people from realizing THAT TIME IS MOVING.

...How?

How does that work?

And then, there was the museum curator! He was from the outside! He knew the town's secret! But he never decided to tell anyone? He didn't mind living in a RUBBLE of a town?

Gah, I'm sorry, for as much as I love the Layton characters, the endings of these games really boil me.

Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

After the entertaining and very compelling Fire Emblem Path of Radiance, I can safely say that the entirety of RD was a huge steaming pile of shit.

The characters now sucked, outside of like 2 of them.

The supports sucked (good Lord, what a way to ruin an FE game).

Zihark, the very adamant Laguz savior, decides to join your fucking mercenary band WHICH SPECIALIZES IN KILLING LAGUZ.

The villains sucked. "Moldy onions!"

The "every character who died last game is still alive!!!!" sucked.

And the ending, as per course, sucked cock.

Oh hey remember that war we were fighting? Yaaaaaawn let's stop.

OK!

Oh by the way Micaiah, you're my long lost sister! K, bye.

Oh by the way Micaiah, you're also a goddess or something! K, bye.

-And Ike was never seen again-

What a fucking let-down.

RPGs that do the same after playing for 40 hours.

It's not reallly a cop-out ending, but something about Final Fantasy I's ending, the whole "And by stopping the time-loop, you erased all records of your own heroic deeds" spiel always made me go "Aw for fuck's sake."

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