I have made another one see the light
Hey! I think you're going in the right direction with something like "Undersea." You still have emptiness issues though, like you probably need a bass part, plus that high synth is kind of annoying.
Hmm... post your stuff in the WIP forums and I [and others] can probably give you more critiques for specific songs. For now, if you give me the .xrns file for Undersea I can take a look at it and show you what you can do with a piece like that. Whenever I get the time anyway, heh.
Also, if you have IRC, feel free to drop by #renoise on irc.esper.net. I'm an op there and there's a lot more people who can help you with Renoise-specific things.