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It just can't be... IT JUST CAN'T BE!!!


Salluz
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(Moved from offtopic. No, not my fault).

The evening/night before the launch of SSB Brawl, there was a SSB Melee tournament, a way of giving customers something to do. Also, I'm sure that the present owners of Brawl considered that event as their goodbye-kiss to Melee.

So, I was in a group of five who promised one another not to do the others heavy damage unless we were facing one another as the last two standing. This was a good plan, and it may've helped one of us become the winner and enter the national drawing, but no. Was it the competition? What!? Competition!? Hahahahahahahaha! We had our opponents shook! No, my friends, we were prohibited by the demons of irony! So, you ask: who were we? The Impervious Quintet!

So, how did we lose?

Me: (As Sheik) I was whooping some serious ass and taking names. I was the second person to lose a first life, so I went beserk and brought my opponents to one live to my two. I lost my second live as their percentages were as high as the mid 100's. I demolished one person at around 65% on my last live and started chasing the last player (Marth). I stepped on a fucking stray-ass proximity mine! Oh no, my man-pride! A glorious temple reduced to a field of mines! The person who set it completely forgot; he was dead.

T.J: Kirby died to a stupid party ball (bombs).

Reggie: Same character, same attempt to success, same fate; unexpected death from the wrath of the dead; proximity mines.

Judah: Whooped everybody's ass with Samus, remaining on top in the amount of lives and percentage. Performing better than the rest of his quintet, he was belittling someone who was using Link. Samus picked up a wooden box, threw it, and became one with the stars.

Arnelle: Cleared the battlefield (w/ DK) of all but one of the opponents: Pikachu. Arnelle was at a high of 130%, Pikachu @ 160%. I admit, it was a direct KO (rather than a TKO), so it was fair, but still, the demons of irony showed their ugly faces once again. This time, they used their black magic to summon the random appearance of an item. After Pikachu performed a lucky recovery from a massive hit, Arnelle charged his character's punch. An item appeared out of nowhere, which Pikachu threw (not that I blame him/her/it), resulting in the undeserved loss of DK.

Stray mines? Explosive boxes? Random item appearances? Cursed party balls? This is impossible! Considering that I had my opponents afraid to retaliate, I would have been a true champion! This does not line up with strenuous practices I had @ Gamecrazy before their tournament!

My posse will see the light of triumph! Our victims will endure the darkness of vengeance!

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To be fair, it was in Offtop originally, but I moved it.

Thank you for being nice, Bahamut.

Don't we already have a Smash Bros thread/this forum is not your personal blog/Livejournal comment.

Do I look like a fool to you? If you don't like my posts, don't pay them any attention.

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if you dont suck you can still win with items

i beat warriorknight (one of the best brawl bowsers you can possibly play) in a nintendo tournament a few days ago and items were on and he didnt cry about it but you better believe he wants a rematch

also i cant wait for you to get brawl so i can show you how badly you suck

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So, everyone else says topic creator sucks and he's a whiner, but no one calls them on it.

I use a generic post that covers the usual things people would say, as a joke, and I get not only the topic creator, but someone else, telling me I am being mean.

It's because I'm Canadian, isn't it. You all are fucking anti-Canadian! Aren't you? Don't den it, you raci... nationalists? Countyists? What's the word I'm looking for here? Whatever it is, that's what you all are!

Fuck you all, I'm going ice fishing!

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Fuck you all, I'm going ice fishing!

They all live on donuts and moose meat

and they leave the house without packin' heat

never even bring their guns to the mall.

And you know what else is too funny?

Their stupid monopoly money.

Can't take 'em seriously at all..

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot!

It's because I'm Canadian, isn't it.

Yes.

Okay, obviously I'm kidding. Regarding the first post, Ghettoflame, that's some really bad luck; funny, naturally, but really bad all the same. Maybe you should just grab the items and throw them off the side before they can kill you next time you play.

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So, everyone else says topic creator sucks and he's a whiner, but no one calls them on it.

I use a generic post that covers the usual things people would say, as a joke, and I get not only the topic creator, but someone else, telling me I am being mean.

It's because I'm Canadian, isn't it. You all are fucking anti-Canadian! Aren't you? Don't den it, you raci... nationalists? Countyists? What's the word I'm looking for here? Whatever it is, that's what you all are!

Fuck you all, I'm going ice fishing!

I love you just because you're directing the Pokemon Project.

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So, everyone else says topic creator sucks and he's a whiner, but no one calls them on it.

I use a generic post that covers the usual things people would say, as a joke, and I get not only the topic creator, but someone else, telling me I am being mean.

It's because I'm Canadian, isn't it. You all are fucking anti-Canadian! Aren't you? Don't den it, you raci... nationalists? Countyists? What's the word I'm looking for here? Whatever it is, that's what you all are!

Fuck you all, I'm going ice fishing!

IceFishing.jpg

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To Atma: Me? Suck? HA! We'll see, we'll see. I'll keep you in mind, so when I do get Brawl (whic I admit, may be a moment), you'll get mad, start crying and throw your system out of the window.

To the haters: I like to tell stories, have conversations with others, hear what others have to say, etc. I, like many of you, am a human (not to mention cool and insightful). I'm not here to "whine and get attention", as some of you like to try to portray me.

In other words, get off of my sack; I'm not your problem.

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So, everyone else says topic creator sucks and he's a whiner, but no one calls them on it.

I use a generic post that covers the usual things people would say, as a joke, and I get not only the topic creator, but someone else, telling me I am being mean.

It's because I'm Canadian, isn't it. You all are fucking anti-Canadian! Aren't you? Don't den it, you raci... nationalists? Countyists? What's the word I'm looking for here? Whatever it is, that's what you all are!

Fuck you all, I'm going ice fishing!

1196879698148iv1.jpg

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