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Forest Interlude


Mordi
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Good Lordy Mordi. That's killer. Really lovin' the drums. Your songs often have this..."fantasy" feel to them that I think is killer.

This will blow people's freakin' tits off with astonishment.

Cool! I've had this breakbeat sample lyring around for ages, and I finally found a suitable tune for it.

Well that was suitably awesome! Really nice instrument choices and great percussion. How about putting some more original parts in though? It feels a lot like a cover at the moment. A very good one, but I don't think it'd pass the judges for that reason.

Thanks! I actually wrote a solo in the part where the girls are singing "aaaah", but I scrapped it as I think it was too much. I am considering adding a synth solo of some sort as an extension to the part at 2:14 to 2:33, though. Thoughts on that, anyone?

Would be nice with some real instruments in there too, but I only play drums. So it'll probably continue to be a synth-fest. :-P

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This is very strong work. Dare I say all it needs is a solo or more interpretive section and your arrangement is golden.

I love the low-fi drums combined with the smooth synths, but you might consider throwing in some more textured synths, either layering with the lead or playing counterpoint. It might not work out with the mellow groove, but it's definitely worth playing with if it doesn't spoil the mood.

Looking forward to the finished product. I have a hard time thinking this won't pass after you bring it home ;)

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Your setup is immaculate, bro. The production is top freakin' notch, here. As much as I'd love to say it's perfect, though (it's pretty close, but... I'm picky as hell), I think it has one or two things about it that could use a little work.

Everyone has mentioned it's conservative nature. Probably no need for me to mention it again :P

The lead at :56 bugs me - it just doesn't belong to this soundscape at all, so next to the rest of the track it's grating. It might be the warm tone to it that gets to me (the rest of the track is warm, so it fights for space), it might be the synth design (it's like an 80's instrument thrown into a modern soft jazz arrangement), or maybe something else (possibly some fuzz, though I'm listening on some crappy headphones right now), but the sound of that instrument doesn't go well with the rest of the track.

Why am I focusing so damn much on a single instrument? Because your track sounds perfect otherwise. When everything sounds perfect one's mind tends to focus on imperfections more intently, like an uncanny valley. So yeah, I love this arrangement, I could easily see it on OCR with the proper attention given to the arrangement. I'd love to hear something so close to perfection hit everything perfectly, so I hope you take a look at the one offending synth.

Yeah, awesome track.

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I updated the track. It now has a sort of solo-ish part near the end, to break up the arrangement. Same link as in first post.

Gario: I really like that instrument, though. I upped the filter modulation a bit and removed some of the mid-low frequencies to avoid it clashing too much with the rest of the track.

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Ok, had to listen to this three times.

I feel like the track on the whole could use some high-end sparkle. Maybe even a bit more prominent delay on those leads (not the solo part though). I dunno, it just feels a bit dry overall, which I'm reluctant to mention since my production knowledge is probably no where near yours, but it's how I feel. I want to say it's a bit conservative? Which is usually a good thing, but I think a track like this shouldn't be afraid to get wet. But don't take my word unless someone more notable agrees (ie don't mess it up because of me).

The section you added is just what the doctor ordered. I actually think you should milk that ending for all it's worth though. In other words, don't start the fade out so soon. I think it would be great to let the atmosphere and ambiance really just sink in for another good loop or two, with the birds and maybe some nice flourish-y things. Although the fade out isn't abrupt, I felt like I wanted just a bit more, to bask in it a little...

Other than that, I think your just about ready to label this finished or mod-review, as the type of advice I'm giving might be more well suited coming from the moderators. It's at that level, I think.

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To your credit, the instrument sounds much better. Personally I'd probably pick something else anyway, but it's pretty tolerable, now.

I agree with Metaphist on the ending. Right now it just seems to end too quickly. It sounds like the track should just be getting ready to kick it into the next gear; instead it has a FO. Give a thought to expanding the arrangement, 'cause right now it just seems a little short.

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I wasn't sure at first what the source was, but when i clicked the link and Donkey Kong Country 2 popped up, i actually smirked. Nostalgia trip and a half.

So anyway, after a 30 second hit i listened to yours, and it's pretty amazing to be fair. I wouldn't have faulted it but then i read Gario's comment about the lead at 0:56, and now it's slightly bugging me :?

That's just personal preference though it all sounds solid.

I loved the rain by the way, i'm a sucker for weather effects in songs haha

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i think angelcityoutlaw summed it up aptly. the track evokes a sense of serenity and wonder in me, and paints the enchanted forest as this sort of paradisaical destination of one's lifelong spiritual pilgrimage, or something like that! all this imagery is more enhanced by the chirping bird samples that bookend your mix. at any rate i have already listened to this around five times and i just keep finding more and more to like about it.

there are a few areas though that i feel do a disservice to your artistic vision, like specks of dust on an otherwise perfectly specular surface.

- the melody around 0:58 is a bit loud. though i'm on sennheiser hd280s and not studio monitors you might want to look into the levels.

- the disconnected attacks on your melody's pickup notes at 0:58 come off as unwelcome intrusions rather than conscious compositional decisions. that harmonic leitmotif, the cascading arpeggios, shimmering pad, and heavenly choir, all of which are articulated by subdued synths, cohesively lay a harmonic foundation for your piece that is simply celestial. so when 0:58 kicks in, the impression isn't really that of tasteful contrast or phrasing, but of a group of notes that stand in lone opposition. your lead synth sample clearly has the capability to portmanteau consecutive notes, and i definitely think minimizing the presence of distinct attacks wherever your melody is more verbose (for lack of a better word) will serve this song well.

- speaking of, the sample is in desperate need of some presence. whenever your melody finds those beautiful notes to temporarily rest on, there is this homophonic consonance formed with the chords that seems downplayed by a lack of any enduring to the melody's notes. you can definitely reverse that with some nice reverb. in a song like this your lead synth needs to be especially wet man :)

anyway that's just my two cents. take my advice with a grain of salt and whether this gets posted on ocr or not, it has already found a permanent spot in my own library.

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I'm quite familiar with this source, actually.

There's some very nice production going on here. The drums are epic. :3

Yeah, I'm like this too: From 0:58, the lead doesn't seem to match. Try going for an easy-going legato synth on the mid-high end of the EQ.

Since I know the source, I know that there's not much original stuff in here. Try putting some unexpected variations, but don't go overboard. Maybe a solo here and there. It feels jazzy, so maybe a piano solo?

3:18 - Try having some crescendos/decrescendos on the oscillating synth here. That would match better with its surrounding backups.

Very nice so far!

Perhaps this ocremix could be a good reference as to how close you are to reaching the goal of an acceptable remix:

It's of the same source, and it's most similar in style to yours.

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Lots of great feedback here.

Awesome stuff. But the same breakbeat goes for all the song. One or two break-part would help. Otherwise, Amazing and loving it.

Indeed. In the past I've always had a lot of variations in my tunes, so nowadays I guess I am trying to keep it more subdued and "straightforward" with most of my tunes.

[*snip*]

anyway that's just my two cents. take my advice with a grain of salt and whether this gets posted on ocr or not, it has already found a permanent spot in my own library.

Cool. This is great feedback! I see what you mean.

I think I'm going to alter some of the leads and see if I can come up with something that fits the tune better.

Perhaps this ocremix could be a good reference as to how close you are to reaching the goal of an acceptable remix:

It's of the same source, and it's most similar in style to yours.

That tune is really nice. Not too dissimilar, although that one has more of a disco-vibe to it.

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  • 10 months later...

Very cool. Definitely knew this was one to watch from the start, though...I'm surprised nothing more has been said on this one. Best of luck getting it on OCR. On the front page or not, I'll just echo what melody said: "whether this gets posted on ocr or not, it has already found a permanent spot in my own library."

Awesome. :)

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Why am I feeling a Röy~oh, Norway thumbup1.gif

There's a lot of little things I would tweak with this. Like, if the bird chirping and the waterfall are two separate samples, pan the chirping all around the spacial area. Probably shave time a little off the intro and outro, and other little things.

As a whole it isn't bad. Nothing sounds horribly out of place and the synths do blend nicely together. I think the mixing could be a little tighter and sharper. The drums could use a little more love, the snare in particular sounds sad during the offbeat. Beat could use more variations too. The melody during 0:57 to 1:54 could use more variation from the source (tho not as varied as what you did at 2:34).

Oh it's getting there. I'm certain this could easily get accepted if you put in as much, or less effort then I think you should. Looking forward to the next update.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Didn't see your posts until yesterday. Was inspired to do some more work on the track.

Here's an updated version. I'ts not radically changed. I touched up the mixing a bit by redoing a lot of the EQ, and adding a few compressors. I think it sounds a bit clearer.

The part near the end is a bit different. I always thought that was the weakest part, but now it sounds better to me.

I also came up with a name for it.

Forest_Frolic.mp3 (wip)

Also, I never realized how many hits these threads got! That's quite astonishing.

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