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Mazedude's having a baby!


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Hey man, congratulations!!! Being a dad is frickin' sweet (including the stinky parts; good diaper-changing is an art to be appreciated and cultivated.) My son is certainly my favorite thing in the whole world. Speaking of, I'm not sure what you guys are hoping for, but I'm hoping you have a boy, as Alexander Wolfgang Getman is a SERIOUSLY sweet name 'dude. Like damn. The world needs more people who sound like they could be SNK bosses.

Three points of advice:

1) Pregnancies and labors vary in the extreme, but my humble opinion was that pregnancy was nine pretty lame months followed by a terrible day and a half followed immediately by the most beautiful, awe-inspiring ten minutes of my life. Well worth it, of course, but hang in there man, it could be a bumpy ride. The absolute worst part for the dude (or Mazedude in that case) is just how damned useless you feel. Horribly frustrating. There's nothing you can do except to do everything you can. You'll understand what I mean soon enough.

2) There's lots of good books out there. Probably you've already got What to Expect When You're Expecting. I don't know how you guys have been using/reading it, but I would suggest treating it more like a reference book than anything else. That is, if you have random questions about stuff you guys are or are not experiencing, What to Expect will probably have a pretty good answer. It also has a bunch of scary stuff in it, so if either of you are the type to become a hypochondriac as soon as you see a medical dictionary, scan, don't pour over the pages.

Also, Fatherhood by Bill Cosby. Awesome.

3) If nobody has told you about meconium yet (and they tend to neglect this bit until you're already having the baby,) do yourself a favor and look it up. It's really not that big a deal in real life, but it's good to be mentally prepared. Others reading this post, look it up at your own peril, because yes, it's nasty.

Enough new father pontificating from me. Once more, congrats and the best of luck to the both of you!!!

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Thanks for the kind words everyone! A few responses back at ya:

Indeed, those names had subtle musical influence, that was intentional. :)

My own birthday's in late October, so I've had a life of knowing that to find my age from the current year I need to think ahead to the end... so I'm sure I can train my kid on how to do that.

I don't fear the kid getting fat or unhealthy via a bad diet; I'm athletic and I eat well, so the little one will be raised in a household of those same values.

Likewise I find the comment that kids are generationally getting smaller an odd thing to say... from what I've seen it's rather the opposite. Kids these days are eating so much genetically modified food with hormones all through it that they're growing much larger and taller, faster than usual as well. So yeah, I'll try to avoid that as much a I can. I prefer to shop organic when I can afford it, and one of my clients is a genius nutritionist who is really good at helping to keep the diet in check, the body detoxed, and the immune system at its peak. He's helping Julia have a super smooth pregnancy - no morning sickness whatsoever.

I just hope that I can find ample time to make music once I'm raising a kid too. I'm sure I'll find time one way or another.

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  • 4 weeks later...

If she were among less than 5% of the girls in her class not to be spoiled and stupid or embrace shallow lewdness, I'd admire you because then gamers would have that much of a better image. If she ever finds out about the Dash clan or the creature from Jersey that wants "Smush Smush" (Episode 1409, "It's a Jersey Thing"), I hope everyone around you can convince her not to act like them! Ever since 2000, raising a girl has been so tough, in particular due to today's TV and music trends. At the beginning of Episode 1605, "Butterballs", even Cartman complains about mainstream music videos over the past year or two!

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