Michael Jackson to commission 50 foot laser-firing, robot replica of himself

[Nario]

I can't believe I'm reading this... I can't believe a statue is being erected to a man who is still alive... ordered from the man who is still alive. O_O;;

I wanna see the robot.

EDIT: I wonder what kind of lasers would be shot... lasers that destroy!? XD

[bLiNd]

Yea frikn Michael lives in my hometown. My friend works at the airport, and happened to empty the shitter of his plane. His bodygaurds told him to back away at least 30 feet from michael or else (and he is the one carrying the luggage, wut the heck dood). His boss came over and kicked michaels bodygaurds off of the runways permanently...

[Fritz the Cat]

EDIT: I wonder what kind of lasers would be shot... lasers that destroy!? XD

A sex ray.

Duh.

[Armoured Priest]

History repeats itself?

[analoq]

if true, this may just be the greatest achievement in the history of pop music.

seriously, no amount of grammys or quadruple-platinum albums can compete with this.

[Murmeli Walan]

HIStory repeats itself?

fixed.10 char workaround lol

[Antipode]

Holy shit. This is AMAZING.

A 50 foot MJ robot roaming the desert sands and firing lasers everywhere? HELL YES.

[Broken]

History repeats itself?

damn. You beat me to it.

[AMT]

I think the greatest part about this is the fact that he intends it to roam the desert; This thing is far from stationary, it's gonna freaking own the desert landscape. It's like the US's secret boss or something, like Ruby Weapon.

[zircon]

Yeah, that is definitely the best part. Like it'll be built and then just wander around. Personally, I can't wait.

[analoq]

i'm having this post-apocalyptic fantasy where the roaming Jackobot is the only remnant of human civilization after mankind has been wiped out.

and then the next species nature selects to be sentient will worship Jackobot as a fierce god.

[BlueMage]

If I can build a lettuce-harvester which drives itself and picks lettuce at the same time, I think it's possible to create a rule-based Jackbot that operates autonomously.

just include a remote kill switch.

[zircon]

At that size you could probably have solar panels on it providing some degree of power.

[DragonFireKai]

At that size you could probably have solar panels on it providing some degree of power.

Oh, the last thing we'd want is giving it an autonomous power source, when it rises up against us, we'll need to be able to wait it out.

[Introverticon]

and then the next species nature selects to be sentient will worship Jackobot as a fierce god.

"And lo, on the seventh day, Jackobot looked out unto His most glorious creation, and He gripped His crotch most ferociously, for it gladdened Him. And a proclamtion was made unto all the 10-year-old boys, that if they ever snitched to the authorities that they had had their naughty bits fondled, He would incinerate them with His amazing heat-vison"

[Archetype of Sagacity]

This has nothing to do with helping Michael make a comeback. This is, quite clearly, an attempt by atheists to finally prove, once and for all, that there is no benevolent, omnimax deity. I can see the argument already:

1. A benevolent, omnimax deity would not allow a fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot that shoots lasers to come into existence.

2. A fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot that shoots lasers has come into existence (show picture of fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot that shoots lasers)

3. Therefore, a benevolent, omnimax deity does not exist.

The problem of evil, the argument from noncognitivism, the argument from non-belief/divine hiddenness... these pale in comparison to this new atheological argument in the works.

Theists are going to have their work cut out for them refuting this work of logical art.

[Armoured Priest]

This must be stopped...

I guess the T-800 Terminator needs an upgrade...

[TheRedBob]

I foresee a version of the Jackobot becoming a staple in the US military in twenty years.

Now, if only we had some gundanium alloy...

[djpretzel]

This has nothing to do with helping Michael make a comeback. This is, quite clearly, an attempt by atheists to finally prove, once and for all, that there is no benevolent, omnimax deity. I can see the argument already:

1. A benevolent, omnimax deity would not allow a fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot that shoots lasers to come into existence.

2. A fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot that shoots lasers has come into existence (show picture of fifty-foot tall Michael Jackson robot that shoots lasers)

3. Therefore, a benevolent, omnimax deity does not exist.

The problem of evil, the argument from noncognitivism, the argument from non-belief/divine hiddenness... these pale in comparison to this new atheological argument in the works.

Theists are going to have their work cut out for them refuting this work of logical art.

NICE WORK.

[chrono26]

I foresee a version of the Jackobot becoming a staple in the US military in twenty years.

Now, if only we had some gundanium alloy...

sounds like the new metal gear to me

[DragonFireKai]

sounds like the new metal gear to me

MGSV: The King of Pop...

*Cue Remix of MGS Theme*

[Alexis]

Isn't it scary enough to have the real Michael Jackson walking around Las Vegas?

[Mustin]

What crap!

I had this idea years ago when I ran for mayor!

Go touch little boys or something and stop stealing my ideas, MJ. Damnit.

[Brushfire]

This whole thing makes me cry in my pants.

The only 50 foot roboceleb we need is Conan O' Brian. Nuff said.

[Gruntguy]

Heh, sounds like something South Park would do.