Jump to content

Zero Punctuation (Hilarious) Game Reviews


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most people look at this years E3, and say that Nintendo won.

Yahtzee looks at E3, and criticizes Nintendo for making hundreds of reboots (which isn't altogether true). Okay Yahtzee, we get it. You hate Nintendo, and you want every Nintendrone in the world to know it. It isn't funny, and it never really was. Take your negativity-fueled page views and try to spread the hate schtick a little more evenly. Please?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Really? I just re-watched it. He spent as much time bashing the movie studios than Nintendo. Sony and MS got the majority of the bashing. I'd say he was fairly lean on the Nintendo hate.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Even with Sony trying to hype up the Move, it still had an awesome showing. Think about it.

InFAMOUS 2

Heros on the Move

God of War: Ghost of Sparta

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep

Twisted Metal

Final Fantasy XIV

Socom 4

GT5 (GETS RELEASE DATE!!!)

LittleBigPlanet 2

Killzone 3

Sorcery (meh. All it does is show that Move can be a useful tool in future games)

And that's only the exclusive games. They did pretty good... even though we didn't hear about FFvXIII

Link to post
Share on other sites

He incorrectly jumps from the 3DS' 3D (which is glasses-free) to 3DTV (which is not glasses-free).

This is almost getting sad. I mean, underlying this whole thing is 'motion controls suck and people that use them are ninnies'. Not only is that retardedly untrue, but it's a point back to Nintendo. Maybe it's just me, but the impression I got from this is that this whole motion control thing (which is, for reasons which remain unproven is 'childish' in nature) is Nintendo's fault, and Nintendo killed gaming and probably eats kittens (and its entire staff should get gassed for some reason - I didn't get that either).

This wasn't productive, and it wasn't funny. It's yet another rant against Nintendo. We got it the first time - you think motion control and the DS are dumb. Har har har. Repeating this isn't funny - it's a sign that you're out of ideas.

As a side-note, Yahtzee's 'realistic' games are no more realistic than Luigi's Mansion. The entire story of Modern Warfare 2 comes to mind - you, Mr. Nothing-Can-Kill-Me-Man, will kill tons of people, including innocents. Should you be hurt, you need only tuck yourself under a table until your wounds disappear. It's not any more realistic than a dude hopping on turtles and eating mushrooms to grow bigger.

I'm losing hope in Zero Punctuation. I hope Yahtzee gets back to game reviews and gets off his soapbox soon.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I seem to recall him not bashing Nintendo, but bashing the whole concept of motion controls, then going after all three companies for their apparent zeal in using it. In the games, he went after Nintendo for making more games for their famous franchises, the games for Microsoft's Kinect, Sony's Move, and then a few other titles.

Seems to me the disdain was spread far more evenly.

...

And I do want to see if Team Ninja sneaks in a little fun bag physics.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I seem to recall him not bashing Nintendo, but bashing the whole concept of motion controls, then going after all three companies for their apparent zeal in using it. In the games, he went after Nintendo for making more games for their famous franchises, the games for Microsoft's Kinect, Sony's Move, and then a few other titles.

Seems to me the disdain was spread far more evenly.

Same here...

Link to post
Share on other sites

*sigh*

"A real game being exclusively for Wii is like a Matisse..."

Why, Yahtzee, why? The review is pretty fair, though - he's got my feelings down, save for the seemingly necessary "Nintendo sucks and shouldn't have real games" that seems to get thrown in to every review he does for the Wii.

Link to post
Share on other sites
*sigh*

"A real game being exclusively for Wii is like a Matisse..."

Why, Yahtzee, why? The review is pretty fair, though - he's got my feelings down, save for the seemingly necessary "Nintendo sucks and shouldn't have real games" that seems to get thrown in to every review he does for the Wii.

Why do you care? Yahtzee basically hates everything. Try not to take his opinion too seriously.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Why do you care? Yahtzee basically hates everything. Try not to take his opinion too seriously.

What bothers me is that it's his running theme whenever he reviews anything on the Wii: Monster Hunter, No More Heroes...

It's not a fair game review if the complaint is about the system - it'd be like me saying Halo sucks because it doesn't use PS3 graphics.

Although, confessedly, he is funny. The line gets stale when all it is is another vehicle to bash the Wii with, though. It'd be fine if he left it at 'this is disappointing because stuff is taken out relative to No More Heroes'.

I love the hate Yahtzee's got; I hate that he basically plugs his opinion of the Wii into every Nintendo-based review he does.

Link to post
Share on other sites
What bothers me is that it's his running theme whenever he reviews anything on the Wii: Monster Hunter, No More Heroes...

It's not a fair game review if the complaint is about the system - it'd be like me saying Halo sucks because it doesn't use PS3 graphics.

Although, confessedly, he is funny. The line gets stale when all it is is another vehicle to bash the Wii with, though. It'd be fine if he left it at 'this is disappointing because stuff is taken out relative to No More Heroes'.

I love the hate Yahtzee's got; I hate that he basically plugs his opinion of the Wii into every Nintendo-based review he does.

If I'm understanding him correctly, motion controls are not a big favorite of his. In fact, I'd say they annoy him quite a bit... especially seeing as they're not as accurate compared to traditional controllers. I've always thought the concept was just gimmicky, and I get the impression he's not too far removed from having that same mindset. Nintendo is all about that Wiimote of theirs and making sure it's used, regardless of the type of game. He also seems to not be the biggest fan of numerous sequels, which is something that Nintendo (and others) love to run with regarding their flagship franchises.

So, when you factor those things in, and since he likes to remind his viewers of the things he doesn't like when they crop up, well...

Link to post
Share on other sites
At least they didn't use "pie." Princess Peach asking Mario if he wants some of her pie (cherry?) would have been worth a chuckle back in the day.

Dammit Coop! That'll take like 3 weeks to clear the connotation out of that word now.

Ugh. Now I can't take Galaxy 2 seriously...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Normally, I wouldn't bat an eye at this latest, average bit from Yahtzee. What's caused my brow to be raised this week is yet another gamer (who's more important that you and me) who has somehow come up with the horribly contrite and despicable idea that more of the same automatically = a bad thing. Who in the sam hill is feeding this lie to us? What devious devil is working their unrequited whispers into our subconscious, causing us to become even harder to please than we already are?

For goodness sake, gentleman! Am I the only one who's happy to see Sonic 4? Donkey Kong Country Returns? New Super Mario Bros. Wii? Contra 4? Halo 3: ODST? Mega Man 10? Crackdown 2? Kirby Superstar Ultra? Left 4 Dead 2? Super Mario Galaxy 2?

Yes, innovation is very important. It serves an integral part in gaming. But we don't aaaaaaaaaalways need to renovate! You know that guy that said, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"? More people should listen to him.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Normally, I wouldn't bat an eye at this latest, average bit from Yahtzee. What's caused my brow to be raised this week is yet another gamer (who's more important that you and me) who has somehow come up with the horribly contrite and despicable idea that more of the same automatically = a bad thing. Who in the sam hill is feeding this lie to us? What devious devil is working their unrequited whispers into our subconscious, causing us to become even harder to please than we already are?

For goodness sake, gentleman! Am I the only one who's happy to see Sonic 4? Donkey Kong Country Returns? New Super Mario Bros. Wii? Contra 4? Halo 3: ODST? Mega Man 10? Crackdown 2? Kirby Superstar Ultra? Left 4 Dead 2? Super Mario Galaxy 2?

Yes, innovation is very important. It serves an integral part in gaming. But we don't aaaaaaaaaalways need to renovate! You know that guy that said, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"? More people should listen to him.

This. Epic Yarn has me waaaaay too excited.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Personally, I think that sequels aren't really a bad thing so much as that other companies making sequels is a bad thing.

I don't mind seeing more Mario or Donkey Kong or Halo or Mega Man because those are series that have been, for the most part, phenomenal. What I do tire of is other developers getting away with goddamn Call of Duty or Gears of War or [insert mostly brown game here] sequels that aren't even any bloody different than the first installments, purely because adolescent boys currently wouldn't know what a good game was if it bit them in the ass.

Also Sonic needs to stop getting sequels. People just don't seem to get it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...