Nice source choice and good style to do it in
Ok, when I listened to this I found that the drums were the biggest problem here.
First of all i'd say the drums are a little too hard hitting. With the drums you have i'd expect to see alot of crazy distorted synths in there.
Not to say the approach of your drums is bad but I don't think they quite mesh with the rest of the soundscape you have.
Seems to me would would be better off trying to find some drums with less punch.
However if you were to add some distortion elements to your track with the backing I think it would suit the soundscape more.
Also, if you really want to go with the pendulum drum style, turn down the snare and boost the kick. At the moment the snare is cutting through everything and is too upfront compared to the rest of the drum kit.
Mostly, the sound design is pretty impressive. Good leads, and bass However you do have the odd bland poly synth in there
The production seems kind of boxed in... I think you need a to try and mess with reverb and delay a little, improve the dynamic range a little by doing that, and also add a stereo imager.
Source is obvious, I'd need to check with the source more but i'm not sure you'd have quite enough variation for ocr.
Also, i'd remove the metal man section... It doesn't quite fit with the rest of mix... like you ran out of ideas and threw it in as an afterthought.
Overall as this stands, I think you are very close to a potential posted mix, and you certainly have the talent to pull it off, but I think this one still needs that little bit more work to get it to its best potential
Good luck man.
Btw, sorry if others have mentioned the same thing before me, but I haven't read through the thread