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Damashii!!

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Everything posted by Damashii!!

  1. (4/4) There isn’t anger with how DiGi treated me for years. There isn’t anger with DiGi resorting to understandable self-preservation and saving face. The anger is coming from the fact that, when judging his ACTIONS and RESULTS (not words and intentions), DiGi very clearly does NOT want me to get better… he does NOT want me to show the properly rebooted and mentally healthy new version of myself. DiGi straight up wants to fuck me over on some Ray Kroc / Thomas Edison type shit. Again, cannot make this clear enough. “The Laws of Human Nature” makes this all brutally apparent what the fuck is going on here. Some of you are reading this unable to swallow this down, and some of you are nodding your head and sadly smiling while thinking “yeeeah, we’ve all been there and we all learn the hard way sooner or later.” Cancel Culture is BULLSHIT. But accountability is IMPERATIVE. Two sides to every story. I don’t want none of the victimhood, deflection, face-saving bullshit for EITHER side. My anger is coming from internal conflict of these two crossroads: 1 To handle this like Mobius giving Loki the benefit of the doubt (because people CAN change) 2 To handle this unapologetically going beastmode while refusing to control my blast radius and caring about collateral damage when getting someone the FUCK up out of my life who has overstayed their welcome. THAT is why I’m bringing this to the community’s attention. I am a RECOVERING fuckboi. I am a RECOVERING attentionwhore. I am a RECOVERING Balan Wonderworld clusterfuck delusional narcissist. I get it now. I get it. We’re all human. But I am RECOVERING. I am not mentally equipped, emotionally patient, or socially intelligent enough to know how to avoid going beastmode if DiGi don’t wanna meet me half way and squash this out in a way that sincerely lets both sides move on. Remember DiGi’s response YEARS ago when he felt insulted with the Sonic Retro vocal Sonic CD incident? I’m tryna understand why the fuck years later DiGi’s walk STILL ain’t matching his talk. I’m tryna REAL hard understand why squashing it out to go our near future separate ways in order to make an opportunity for better FUTURE opportunities is off the table from DiGi’s pov. I’m tryna understand why I shouldn’t just pick up my nuts and go beastmode by handling the FUCK up out of this situation since DiGi would rather scurry away on some BunnyManBounce self-preservation shit instead of look me in the eyes and squash this man to man. So for those of you much more mentally healthier, socially intelligent, and with more emotional stability and successful conflict resolution experience I am humbly requesting yall to explain what you would do in my situation. No dramarama beef shit stirring. Deep down I want to believe there is STILL a way to turn this all around with mutual benefit for DiGi and I both, but I'm not sure anymore if that deep down feeling is stockholm syndrome. Massive apologies for the bitchboi tedtalk. This is not how I wanted to "return" to being active in the community again. I just can't move forward with this weight and I'm struggling to find a healthy way to set the weight down instead of smashing this weight around with a berserker temper tantrum. Peace -J
  2. (3/4) BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAAAAHHH okaaay bruh, fakedeep wannabe philosophic chinstroking aside, what the FUCK this shit gotta do with any of us? DiGi Valentine has been manipulating, strategically undermining and emotionally abusing me (and several others) for years. I kept my fuckin mouth shut because 1) I never even KNEW about the concept of learned helplessness via suffering in silence, and 2) I thought I was picking up my nuts by keeping shit to myself and handling my bidness . For you hip hop heads or urban culture enthusiasts, look at Rory and Mal’s response in trying to de-escalate things with Joe Budden. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBLvOrdDgVE One. Hundred. Fucking. Percent. THIS. to a fucking tee. You don’t realize something is wrong, one-sided, or abusive because sometimes some of us can’t recognize the difference between red and green flags due to social incompetence, naivete, or conflict-avoidance mixed with too many benefit of the doubt instances (you give an inch, they take a mile). The thing is, actions speak louder than words and results speak louder than intentions. When somebody is speaking to you with YEARS of repeated actions and results you have to learn (often-times the hard and painful way) that bitches ain’t muthafuckin stuttering and there’s no fuckin déjà vu. These actions and results are clearly communicating who the person really is and what they actually think of you and the relationship. This was all BEFORE the Pandemic where I was learning how to find inner peace by just moving forward with the least amount of collateral damage and petty grudges, because I simply didn’t wanna come across as a whiny, ungrateful bitchnigga. I’M the village idiot attentionwhore, I’M the socially inept dumbass, I’M the fuckhead. Look at all of DiGi’s “friends” and “connections?” Clearly I’M the problem here. This was my negative feedback loop for years. This friendship sucks simply because I suck, and I'm getting the exact friendship that I deserve. NONE of my major problems in life are on anybody else or some institutional problems (imho). Again, I’m taking full responsibility and focusing on what I can control with my outlook on life and my actions. So I put my own self in a timeout to work out the bugs. Still working them out, but I’m learning to understand that’s just life. We’re ALL working things out and some are just better than others at making it look effortless and graceful. But there are two sides to every story. I’ve recently brought back my old youtube channel and opened up very briefly why I took a mental breather musical hiatus and how I’m down to squash things properly and in a healthy manner with DiGi. DiGi emailed me last week stating how I’m wrong about this and this and that and such. Before I’ve had the chance to respond to him I’ve already noticed he’s been scrubbing some videos and tweets. Yeah ok, cool. Again. You learn to appreciate and accept human nature, and that includes when other players in this game resort to self-preservation and saving face. I get it. We all have our huge ambitions and goals as well as our insecurities and baggage. There’s no anger in the fact that DiGi is a human. Plus, we all have our careers and reputations to care about. I get it. What I don’t get is when you treat your team like garbage for years then try to repeatedly sweep things under the rug with fakewoke pandering, Ellen DeGeneres-tier lip service, and even going so far as to pull the Sasuke card: “duuuude, I’m a different person now. lol, just trust me. #MentalHealthAwareness and #inclusion and shit. I’m not who I was before.” But for these past few three years of my absence, EVEN IN THE MIDST OF THE PANDEMIC where everybody is already stretched thin and SHOULD be reflecting on themselves instead of stirring up shit, DiGi has CONSISTENTLY blame-shifted and deflected everything towards me. We can all admit I was a loud village idiot, moronic, unhinged fuckboi who clearly was missing some marbles. Instead of being a bitchboi, I tried getting booksmart and applying knowledge to get better at communicating with myself what I actually want in life so I can later communicate in a healthy manner with the world around me. How the FUCK I’m supposed to become a better son, brother, partner, collaborator, coworker, etc. and most importantly, a better FRIEND if I ain’t taking time to actually work on repairing and rebuilding myself? What has DiGi been doing this whole time though? This whole time when ALL yall know I ain’t been getting in your ears on Facebook or discord, I’ve just been keeping to myself. DiGi’s been spending this entire time SHITTING on me and then turning around to save face with “AH HYUK! Black Lives Matter!!! Black people are my friends and my neighbors!!! Duuuude I heckin’ love mental health awareness!!!! Inclusion sure is wholesome! Ah-HYUUKK!!” Basically, duuuude I’m such a heckin good person, but does anybody remember that stupid ass Sir J guy? yeeeahh. https://youtu.be/Y4aKmPQ79r8?t=1680 Wooow, that’s some heckin wholesome shit right there! Definitely sounds like someone who is excited about getting the Zone Runners back together again and moving forward from beef, especially as a grown adult man who is nearly 40 years old! ____________________________________ Again, for those of you familiar with “As A Man Thinketh” and “The Laws of Human Nature” it’s obvious I got exactly what you’d expect from being a naïve bitchass sucker who doesn’t understand how the game is played and how to develop proper self esteem boundaries so you only connect with people that are a healthy positive influence on your life. I get it. There’s no anger there. Once more, I’m trying very hard not to come across too much with attention whore self-indulgent shit, but I’ve literally spent ~8 hours total time painstakingly analyzing and highlighting everything I’ve been learning since I’ve opened my eyes, learned to fall back in love with music, and most importantly learned to embrace and accept this game we are ALL playing. I’ve brutally poked fun and relentlessly laughed at myself, but I’ve tried to spend most of the time showcasing how if you’re not clear on who you are and what you really want in life you will most likely end up as a Balan Wonderworld clusterfuck with your head up your delusional ass. Also, I went into EXTREEEEEMELY thorough detail that my music was never actually some toxic misogyny ligma ballz fuck women bullshit, neither was it shit stirring sneak disses about peers. Literally, my entire UV Sir J vs W!SE the all.E discography was me shitting on and fighting with myself. I’M the “bitch” that I’m harassing and demeaning in my old music. I’M the target that I’m dissing and talking about getting revenge on. My music was about EGO DEATH, but not only was the expression of my music a Balan Wonderworld clusterfuck being poorly communicated, but I myself as a human had way too many court jester unhealthy fuckboi kinks to work out. I get it… nearly 8 hours of some random “WOOOHOOOO I’M CRAAAAZZZYY” fuckboi returning from a longterm absence is not worth everybody’s time. It’s all good. Here’s the part that IS relevant to everybody’s time. There’s two sides of every story. This is what I experienced with DiGi, and this is why even though I STILL want to find a mutually beneficial resolution I have a bad feeling that DiGi currently does not WANT to change nor is he READY to change. https://youtu.be/MJlxC6ea4uU
  3. (2/4) Once more, humbly begging the mods and staff to NOT move this into offtopic or anywhere else. HUGE sincere thanks and gratitude for your time. In regards to inevitable concerns that this is just some bitchass reaction-bait publicity stunt or marketing campaign desperate for a quickbuck “hit it n quit it” of views and follows, I’ll be as transparent as possible with this: I am a recovering fuckboi, self-indulgent attention whore, and delusional narcissist. Furthermore, I believe everyone has a healthy amount of small narcissism that simply explodes into excessive and unhealthy levels when shit ain’t right internally for the individual and is exacerbated even more by dysfunctional social incompetence when failing to connect and communicate externally. Layman’s terms: when someone sucks ass at being clear with their own self from the jump with the man in the mirror, it’s a matter of time before they excessively fail to communicate, connect with, and express themselves with the world around them, because unhealthy fuckboi narcissism is simply screaming and cranking the volume WAAAAY up with already poor communication. Thus, I have been, currently am, and will forever continue to take full responsibility for my behavior, especially since I know damn well no matter how much of an emotional mess, nobody ever took a gun to my head to say “act like an attention whoring dumbass fuckboi.” Yes, we are all our biggest critics, it is impossible to please everybody when finding your voice and the beat of your own drum, and we all mature and grow up at varying speeds with some like myself taking a REEEEEEAAAALL long time. But this isn’t being too hard on myself. This is me stating some important harsh truths I’ve learned from years of taking deep breaths, recovering from self-imposed homelessness, and deeply reflecting these past few years: • People can change if 1) they are shown a better way and 2) they WANT to and are READY to change. Both requirements must be met, but the second usually requires the individual learning to open their own eyes and see for themselves how far their head has been in their own ass. No shame in personally admitting that second requirement took me a very long time. • It’s not personal, and it’s not just business. It’s all about time. The two general people you meet in life are those who want to see your time wasted and those who want to see your time flourished. • Life is a game. It’s not single player but an MMO with PvP elements. Everybody is playing The Game and there are many ways to play The Game whether tearing others down to lift yourself up, playing strictly solo dolo as neutral as possible, or trying to authentically connect with like-minded guild mates for team raids and camaraderie. Some for a season, some for a reason. We’re all learning these universal truths at different stages in our lives and a few of you are probably smiling and thinking “yeah, this dude was a fuckhead, but it’s cool to see Sir J is slowly getting it now.” And the thing about when you ‘get it’ is that usually most anger and frustration goes out the window when you learn to see life as both atrociously cut-throat and beautifully overflowing with opportunities. You learn to accept yourself; the negative weaknesses needing ongoing maintenance AND positive strengths needing fine-tuning. And you learn to accept human nature and the world around you; The things you cannot change (at least, cannot change easily on your own or with one generation of fervent progress) and the things you CAN control and change (your mindset and perspective, how to deal with the cards you’re dealt, working with who you are and focusing on what you’re truly passionate about rather than dreading the rat race). If you’re familiar with books such as “As A Man Thinketh (James Allen)” or “The Laws of Human Nature (Robert Greene)” then I’m definitely saying nothing revolutionary at all to you. Plus, all of this information is generally learned by ALL of us throughout the march of humanity for thousands and thousands of years. As I said, we all learn and mature at different paces and sooner or later we all reach some kind of way to learn to live within the world not as we wish it could/would/should be, but simply as the world is. **NOTE – I am NOT talking about ignoring systemic abuses and genocidal atrocities, etc. I’m simply talking about the ebb and flow of weaving through the rat race and personal self-fulfillment.
  4. (1/4) Hello everybody. New faces, longtime veterans, and everyone in between. Humbly begging the mods and staff to NOT move this into offtopic or anywhere else. This is a community topic about two veteran members very directly related to Gaming circles, and specifically the OCR family. It’s long, but this is coming from years of silence. Convenient TL;DR: I am no longer mentally equipped, emotionally patient, or socially intelligent enough to know how to peacefully handle this issue with @DiGi Valentine . For years, every time we’ve been in this position to waterbend the beef under the bridge, he would simply resort to Agni Kai lightning bend stabbing me in the back or gaslight kicking me into a hole which should have been where we buried the hatchet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJlxC6ea4uU&list=PLXrWyBDPlUz13EWIoa4t_6dxKBD6iE-GQ&index=6 Actions speak louder than words, results speak louder than intentions. When somebody is speaking to you with YEARS of repeated actions and results you have to learn it’s not a stuttering matrix glitch. This is clearly communicating who the person really is and what they actually think of you and the relationship. Some of us can’t recognize the difference between red and green flags due to social incompetence, naivete, or conflict-avoidance mixed with too many benefit of the doubt instances (you give an inch, they take a mile). I have a kneejerk gut feeling on how to handle this, just seeking out side opinions remotely at all there is a better way that I'm not seeing. 61 TUPAC Falling Out.mp4
  5. @djpretzelHey, thanks for the patience. I never got back in touch with @Rexy on my "The Way To The Top" mix. What's the ideal cutoff date to gather and release everything? By Thanksgiving latest I can guarantee salvaging from a dead hard drive (or completely redoing/rebuilding) TWTTTop, but I don't wanna be a diva and halt this project anymore. We've all clearly wanted to get this out for years, and instead of holding up traffic I don't mind releasing my mix as a standalone sub since I’ve already contributed other tracks to the project, rushing isn't my forte. It's not the amount of time needed for the mix, it's the fact I'm fighting an already dead hard drive and racing against a failing PSU. All that aside, thanks a lot to staff for the patience with all us remixers and all the hard work in getting this project completed after so many years. _____________ @begoma slightly offtopic, and this is EXTREMELY late (life happens), but hell yeah I'm down for the group collab if it's still on the table.
  6. If I'm hearing this correctly, you're saying it's cool for folks like me to continue typing those huge ass dissertations with 47 paragraphs about how dat filter sweep had me feelin some type of way, yeah? hoooly shit, the forums are upgraded as fuck.
  7. Sorry. I ninja smoke-bombed into Timaeus' crib and tossed a bunch of new stem grenades everywhere. He might be busy for a little while longer.
  8. end of the year. Got it! Timaeus has been knocking it out of the park while I was gone and I'm not going to let our collab mix go to waste. Gonna be a close call, but I'm gonna have that Vectorman track done.
  9. What's up, everybody? I know it's been a while since I've been bombin up this community with epic novels and "wtf-is-this-mofo-so-excited-for?" posts. I've had a bit of a sketchy year and a lot of my focus went towards the recently released Zone Runners debut album as well as getting my own original material off of the ground. However, behind the scenes I've been cookin up something a little bit special. This is the first (the 'Pilot Episode,' if you will) of a series of volumes called the "Sir J Sessions" focused primarily on the funkiest, grooviest, crazy mofo.... ... est.... of one shots, short riffs, and loops. With this "Volume 0" this is just a large sampler of a variety of sounds and it is basically showcasing what you can expect in future volume releases when I focus more on specific instruments and styles. Here is the Bandcamp page: http://thesirjsessions.bandcamp.com/releases And for you Redditors and Internet detectives out there you'll notice I've already linked to "free" mirror downloads on a few music production subs: http://www.reddit.com/r/makinghiphop/comments/2nz441/samples_a_gold_mine_of_200_funky_sounds/ so hypothetically speaking, yes... you can get all of this for "free" from those Reddit links, but it would mean a lot to me if you could also stop by the Bandcamp page and help a brotha' out. And if you don't mind me breaking out of the politically correct hype promo language I'd just like to bluntly say that I am in a bit of a rough time right now; I won't bore you all with a sob story at this moment, but to be humbly honest and straight-forward any and all support (whether financially or just with Social media shout outs and such) is greatly appreciated. These are 100% free to use for both non-commercial and commercial purposes as long as you're kind enough to give credit and a shout out back to "The Sir J Sessions." And please don't be a dickhead fuckboi about this by doing something like re-hosting/uploading these to another site or some torrents without my permission or even going off to re-sell them... like what the fuck, man... I'm pretty old school and still rough with all this 'Social Media" shiz, but every so often when the moonlight is juuuuust right I spaz out in these places: https://www.facebook.com/Mr.Jordan.Etienne.OFFICIAL https://twitter.com/MrJordanEtienne https://soundcloud.com/mrjordanetienne_uncut/yep peace ~j P.S: A very special shout out to SupX and Garpocalypse since they were the first two who over a year ago really made me consider going HAM and sharing some of my funky samples. >
  10. ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu---------- O_________________o
  11. close call... but for your birfday and mine both I'mma have TWTTop *finally* in your hands, brotha. *smoke bomb teleports into the project thread to see everything I missed*
  12. aaaight brotha, I know I've been gone a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time climbing up and down the gates of Mordor and all dat Space jam shit, but I've been listening to your WIP. you'll be getting my final guitar parts soon and I'll talk with the project directors to apologize for goin ghost so hard this year.

    thanks again... you've really made this idea something else from what I originally had in mind. :)

  13. DOPE af. 11/10 will listen to again. and again. forever and ever. amen.
  14. what I submitted.https://soundcloud.com/paperbagfencesitters/whippin-out-my-gay-voice and THIS is the "verdict." obviously flawless execution on dem harps.
  15. *cracks knuckles* I am a VEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY big Shining Fan (specifically the older Camelot era, primarily because a lot of the newer games are JP-only releases unfortunately) and I've made it known to a few close homies that I'm incredibly interested in seeing Katamari, Runescape, and Shining project albums spring forth. Make it in time for the 20th anniversary (of SFII)? heeeeelllll naw. If someone would like to jump on this (Even for an EP or a non-OCR official album) I'd probably help out with one song, so I tip my hat to anybody who takes a stab at directing/coordinating this. As for myself, though, I've been focusing more lately on wrapping up some personal projects and original music and I'd like to avoid taking on too many new stuff since I've admittedly fallen WAAAY behind with current collabs I'm involved with (note to project directors: cut me some slack, aaaayyy... ain't easy being a green lantern dattebayo kage and an aspiring musician at the same time ; I promise I'll be touching base again soon). However, I have indeed been thinking and planning for many years (especially in the past few months) how to direct a Shining Series project album. I'm just not one of those people who are good at balancing several dozens of projects at the same time on top of personal stuff, so I'd really like to clear up my plate so I can be much more committed to this than I could ever possibly be at the moment. Again, anybody else has plans/ideas for directing a SF2 or whatever album? go for it (and hit me up). As for me and my behemoth project plan I'm keeping my lips sealed for a while and looking more at the 25th anniversary deadline, and I can assure you I've been rubbing my hands like Birdman with this album idea. > peace ~j and no, it won't be all vocals. lolololololol. >_>
  16. aayy, in all seriousness, going to be catching up in a bit(Commando, FF, and whatever it is you need help with).

    we still doin this, mane.

  17. weeelp, guess visitors to our profile pages will have fun with that inviting, cordial gif. XDDDD

  18. suuuuper late to the party (been working on some mammoth personal projects. will be dropping in consistently again real soon), but I'm just stopping by to say that I wouldn't mind joining in another Talkback so I can enlighten some of these vocal hating muddafuggas who clearly have an infestation of maggots in their ears. to each their own ( I mean that 100%. Everybody's got their perceived trash and treasure/good shiz/whatever), but in all seriousness I got a really good laugh at those Retro posts. Like, some abdominal workout type laughing. Guess I've been desensitized from other, much harsher forums, but in the end I know when I'm satisfied with my own stuff and when my target audience and homies dig what I've created. Got absolutely nothing against people speaking their mind; but I've got EVERYTHING against people who ramble on the sidelines but don't even try to pitch in---- at all. =/ really wish the "OCR = circle jerk" comments would fuckin die already. LOLOLOL @metaphist handjobs... XD I dunno man, I think too many people shy away pr retaliate with a bunch of seething rage because they think EVERY OCR remix is supposed to be of Hans Zimmer/Skrillex/Mastodon/Rakim/N-SYNC/etc. production "quality" and firmly lying within a specific niche of Lowest Common Denominator genres... (which of course, just by looking at some of the stuff on the front page latest remixes, this couldn't be farther from the truth). There's so much diversity that I truly believe a lot of people just aren't looking hard enough for "new/different" remixes. buuuuuuuuuut I'll save this soapbox speech for another day. Gotta go save the galaxy again and shiz. Cherna's French accent **and yes, Matt, I'm STILL working on an epic novel review of the album. Scout's honor. ;P
  19. oooh shiii---

    was too hyped about voting before it closes, dunno why I'd miss that one. :D

    No BPanther this time =(?

  20. FUKK YOU, MATE! I wuZ gunn@ jam out to some BUTT H!LL but you done tapped out like a lil' NOOO0000ob!

  21. Less is more. ...AKA Less parts to polish/tidy up makes mastering 10000000000000000000000 times easier.
  22. Aww man, is that the absolute earliest we can do it? 6pm is too early/not possible? EDIT: nevermind, it's cool for today. When I become an intergalactic rockstar and can afford a plane ticket for everybody then we can have a time slot that's a little better for everyone.
  23. Several of us are interested in hopping in for an "OverClocked Assembled Talkback special" tomorrow or next Friday (if this upcoming Talkback will be focusing on the Apex14 album as a whole). I know some folks like Ivan Hakstok have that late-night-witching-hours boss status, but is there any chance we can bump up to 8, 7, or 6pm for a slightly earlier chat? thanks anyways. I'll definitely hop in for one of these, I'd just like to try to get the UK bruddas in at a good time, too.
  24. third. and just pm'd you, Darren1986. Actually have a track that is pretty close to already being done, so if it's for an open source (heh) that'd be great.
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