Evaluation:
First off, nice track name
I do like that there is an element from the original that you chose to focus on and use throughout the arrangement, the arppegio that starts at 0:09. You use and morph that motif in various ways throughout the track.
Lots of late 90s, early 2000s detuned super-saw type synth leads here. The detuning used to make the super-saw lead is making it less clear than it could be. Some detuning is good, but too much makes it less clear and is taking away from the strength of the lead. If you made the patch I wouldn't go more than +/- 10 cents when fine tuning the pitch on the oscillators. This will also help with clarity and help to declutter.
The sections where you have a lot of drill type effects, while they sound cool; gets very busy and cluttered. Not only is it cluttered in the amount of stuff going on but also the high frequencies. This is especially the case for the sections: 0:55-1:20, 1:49-2:15, and 3:18-4:00.
So my main issue with the track is the amount of repeated sections. Where we do get the source melody in it's full glory they are short, and each one is reused with not much alterations to the previous time we heard them, like a copy + paste. 1:20 - 1:30, 2:14 - 2:24, 4:02 - 4:11 should have some variation to them so they are not a direct copy and paste.
2:24 - 2:59 Long ostinato section where everything drops out and it's only the gated backing synth and drums. It's good to have sections like this that have less going on and allows for a contrast, however; this was too many repeats before the next element is introduced. The gated synth pattern gets old very fast for a section that lasts this long. You could possibly reduce this by about 15 seconds and still have the same effect.
4:12-4:48 (end) A very long fade out ending, you could easily cut at least 15 seconds of fade out so we aren't just being mercilessly pounded by that same pattern. This is also a copy and paste of the 2:24-2:59 section but with more adding one more element to it while it fades out.
In summary, in it's current state I can't see this passing the panel. Add some variations to the repeated sections so they are not identical, shorten the long fade out, and declutter the busy sections. This could be a very strong track with some tinkering, and I enjoyed it.