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Things Video Games Have Taught Us


DMaster
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Only white, unshaven thirtysomethings with brown hair can go on adventures and save the world. Women associated with them are either for sexin' or rescuin', the black guy is there to talk smack hilariously, and anyone in their sixties is either their nemesis or their wizened instructor.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

The Blond chick: Ability: Healing - Being Kidnapped - Clumsy

The RedHead Chick: Ability: Martial art or Fire MAgic - Sexy - Loudmouth

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Girls are never truly evil. They are either psychotic, mind-controlled (or otherwise controlled) or have a Very Good Reason for doing what they do. Only guys can be remorselessly evil for no real reason.

Incidentally, if you ever spurn a girl's advances in any way she is allowed to stalk you and openly scream about wanting to end your life constantly. Note that this does not actually prevent her from SAVING you at some point, nor will this desire to kill you be so strong that she won't uselessly die for some other guy late in the story just because the writers apparently got sick of her being around.

Incidentally, anyone else play Arc Rise Fantasia? Adele be a crazy bitch.

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I learnt alot of practical things from Earthbound.

A. If you work through the night, even a tube can become the greatest invention.

B. Even something someone else sees as garbage can keep you going at some point. (This is not always the case in real life.)

C. A call home just to hear your mother's voice always makes you feel better.

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