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K.B.

Awesome Nonsensical Lines from Games/VG Music

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I was laughing so fucking hard through this video I couldn't lift my beer to my mouth.

Some first rate hilarity. No doubt.

Also, I played the all of the Double Dragons. So I know what he's talking about.

Funny story.

Double Dragon II was a huge part of my childhood (still play it to this day), so I was estatic when my Grandmother had found me a copy of Double Dragon III at a yard sale. I put it in the NES...and...well, see the video :\

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Everything HK-47 says is amazing.

Indeed.

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds."

Oddly fitting, in a strange sort of way.

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"I pledge my victory.... to this FEATHER!"

"Coach Oleander has taken the brains of all the kids to build brain-powered tanks to take over the world and we're the only ones who can stop him!"

"Oh my GOD! Let's make out!"

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I grow tired of yelling battle cries when fighting this mage! Boo will finish your eyeballs once and for all so he does not rise again!

EVIL, MEET MY SWORD! SWORD, MEET EVIL!!!!

"YES! Lead evil by example, and one day we'll need not put the boot to those who stray from goodness into the muck and bile of villany and track great, bloody footprints across our lily-white tiles! BOO WILL HAVE CLEAN WOODSHAVINGS YOU EVIL BASTARDS!"

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Some BG2 goodness

Here are some of the funnier bits:

Sarevok: I orchestrated a war to slaughter thousands. I have felt the cold embrace of death. I have witnessed the horrors of the abyss. But you, Viconia... you scare me.

Imoen: So... Sarevok. You've had an itty-bitty piece of my soul in there for quite a while now. What's it been like?

Sarevok: Well, other than a slight obsession with my weight and the resurgence of a few pimples, it's been simply grand.

Dradeel: One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the ENDLESS WAVES OF BAD DOGGIE WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOES WHILE YOU SLEEP!

Sarevok: Ranger, turn your rodent's gaze another direction! I will not be scrutinised as though by some ridiculous divining rod!

Minsc: Boo has an uncanny judge of character, but you... you give him trouble.

Sarevok: I'll give him more than that if this continues! I nearly conquered a nation! I will not be judged by a creature that stores nuts in its cheeks!

Jan: Hey! I resemble that remark.

Sarevok: Trust me, gnome, you do not want to partake in my wrath this day.

Minsc: Food storage aside, Boo controls himself far better than you do. Do you see him ranting about mere glances? Let's look.

Sarevok: What?

Minsc: See? No rant. In fact, now he is snuffling about for a comfy place to sleep. Admirable restraint.

Sarevok: I'm still in Hell, aren't I? This is insanity.

Minsc: Ah, finally a calming look comes across your face. Boo's handiwork, no doubt? Doesn't that feel better?

Sarevok: Let's... let's go kill something. Soon.

Keldorn: Imoen! What... are you pawing at me yet again? Do you think I do not notice? You are attempting to pickpocket me, aren't you?

Imoen: Well, no... I just...

Keldorn: Just what? Out with it girl. I won't have a party member stealing from me.

Imoen: No, no, that's not it! I... I was just... I was just trying to find out if you're as muscular under your armour as you look. Oh, I know that you're married and all that Keldorn... but do you have *any* idea how good you look? I... I can't help myself, I just what to touch you all the time!

Keldorn: Imoen! I... I have a daughter that is the same age as you!

Imoen: I don't know what it is Keldorn, maybe it's the Bhaal essence in me. I just want to run my fingers through your hair and nibble on your ears! Oh, Keldorn, you drive me so wild!

Keldorn: By Torm, no! This is terrible! I... I had no idea I had this effect on you...

Imoen: Oh get over yourself already, Keldorn! Sheesh.

[imoen giggles]

Imoen: Here's your ring back. I won't take it again, I promise.

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I was laughing so fucking hard through this video I couldn't lift my beer to my mouth.

Some first rate hilarity. No doubt.

Also, I played the all of the Double Dragons. So I know what he's talking about.

Oh yeah, same here, and it all seemed to be going so well until #3 :<

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Hey look guys I changed the thread title without lifting a finger! 'itt' must have been drawing too many wretched off-toppers.

"Don't look into the death star, or you will die."

"Get a silk bag from the graveyard duck to live longer."

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Final line after the credits for Ninja Gaiden for the NES:

"Thank you for playing.

And see you next."

Every line of dialogue from the CD-i Mario and Zelda games. Especially:

Link: "I can't wait to bomb some dodongos!"

King of Hyrule: "After you've scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy!"

Zelda: "Stop looking at yourself!"

Mario: "You know what they say: all toasters, toast toast!"

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Some BG2 goodness

Here are some of the funnier bits:

Sarevok: I orchestrated a war to slaughter thousands. I have felt the cold embrace of death. I have witnessed the horrors of the abyss. But you, Viconia... you scare me.

Imoen: So... Sarevok. You've had an itty-bitty piece of my soul in there for quite a while now. What's it been like?

Sarevok: Well, other than a slight obsession with my weight and the resurgence of a few pimples, it's been simply grand.

Dradeel: One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the ENDLESS WAVES OF BAD DOGGIE WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOES WHILE YOU SLEEP!

Sarevok: Ranger, turn your rodent's gaze another direction! I will not be scrutinised as though by some ridiculous divining rod!

Minsc: Boo has an uncanny judge of character, but you... you give him trouble.

Sarevok: I'll give him more than that if this continues! I nearly conquered a nation! I will not be judged by a creature that stores nuts in its cheeks!

Jan: Hey! I resemble that remark.

Sarevok: Trust me, gnome, you do not want to partake in my wrath this day.

Minsc: Food storage aside, Boo controls himself far better than you do. Do you see him ranting about mere glances? Let's look.

Sarevok: What?

Minsc: See? No rant. In fact, now he is snuffling about for a comfy place to sleep. Admirable restraint.

Sarevok: I'm still in Hell, aren't I? This is insanity.

Minsc: Ah, finally a calming look comes across your face. Boo's handiwork, no doubt? Doesn't that feel better?

Sarevok: Let's... let's go kill something. Soon.

Keldorn: Imoen! What... are you pawing at me yet again? Do you think I do not notice? You are attempting to pickpocket me, aren't you?

Imoen: Well, no... I just...

Keldorn: Just what? Out with it girl. I won't have a party member stealing from me.

Imoen: No, no, that's not it! I... I was just... I was just trying to find out if you're as muscular under your armour as you look. Oh, I know that you're married and all that Keldorn... but do you have *any* idea how good you look? I... I can't help myself, I just what to touch you all the time!

Keldorn: Imoen! I... I have a daughter that is the same age as you!

Imoen: I don't know what it is Keldorn, maybe it's the Bhaal essence in me. I just want to run my fingers through your hair and nibble on your ears! Oh, Keldorn, you drive me so wild!

Keldorn: By Torm, no! This is terrible! I... I had no idea I had this effect on you...

Imoen: Oh get over yourself already, Keldorn! Sheesh.

[imoen giggles]

Imoen: Here's your ring back. I won't take it again, I promise.

You sir have made my day.

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