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...WTF? I think I'm missing something.


Paladin-01
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So this neighbor has been coming to our house, lately. Past two-three months, though far more common lately. Every time is the same, walks up, knocks, hands us a box, walks off with a smile.

Boxes of food. First it was cookies. Okay. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Then bananas. Alright. Then more bananas. Then 3 bags of apples. Then a box of assorted cakes. Another box of cookies. All of it storebought, most of it about to reach its sell-by date, and most of it not from local stores. Today? 6 half-pies, 3 boxes of sugar cookies, an entire box(like, 3'x2'x2') of assorted lunchmeat, sausages, and a container of Burrito filling.

8O

Double You Tee Eff. Granted we're not exactly well off, but we've never hurt for food, and he's not exactly that well off himself. Its mind boggling.

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About the only people I have ever had bring me food were members of the local baptist church. Mostly bread, and not nearly that often.

Is the guy kind of large? Maybe he's trying to get food out of his house to lose weight?

Hopefully you're double checking all of this food, the world being what it is and all.

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If they live by themselves, maybe they just figure if it's approaching seel by date, and they're not gonna eat it, why waste it?

Doesn't sound sinister anyway.

Yes. Also, try to get your folks to ask him?

This reminds me of a church we used to go to way far away - they had a shed(very, very cold) full of expired foods - all pastries and breads and sealed.. They were in perfect condition but the stores had to get rid of them for obvious legal purposes. So these people kept it in the fridge-shed and gave it to the local abuse shelter.

There was always lots so we occasionally took some as well. Very delicious.

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No, he lives in a small old house, there's a trailer on the property, there are like 30 ducks, pheasants, peacocks. I'm wondering if he's insane. The food is good, I mean, the only complaints are that we couldn't eat the bananas fast enough. And they're from stores that are maybe 45 minutes and more away.

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Perhaps someone is bringing him a bunch of food...?

Either that, or, we could take the poison theory one step further and say he's actually building up your immunity to the poison. That, and he's secretly part of the food mafia, and soon you're gonna have to pay him back for all the food favours he's been giving. If you say "I didn't eat any of it!", he'll pull the ol' midaeval witch test: take some poison - if you're immune you were lying, if it kills you, you were telling the truth. Oh, the possibilities!

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he's slowly poisoning you

I hope you know this

No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies.

Very clever, and fiendish.

Because I'm a.) bored and b.) a total nerd, I feel compelled to point out that since he hasn't gotten sick from the food, the level of antidote must be enough to completely neutralize the poison. Therefore if he stopped eating the food, the result would be precisely dick, to quote Tommy Lee Jones.

On another note, does the guy say anything when he brings the food over, or does he just smile like a possum eating shit and then leave? Because It'd be creepy if he did that.

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