Paladin-01 Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 So this neighbor has been coming to our house, lately. Past two-three months, though far more common lately. Every time is the same, walks up, knocks, hands us a box, walks off with a smile. Boxes of food. First it was cookies. Okay. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Then bananas. Alright. Then more bananas. Then 3 bags of apples. Then a box of assorted cakes. Another box of cookies. All of it storebought, most of it about to reach its sell-by date, and most of it not from local stores. Today? 6 half-pies, 3 boxes of sugar cookies, an entire box(like, 3'x2'x2') of assorted lunchmeat, sausages, and a container of Burrito filling. Double You Tee Eff. Granted we're not exactly well off, but we've never hurt for food, and he's not exactly that well off himself. Its mind boggling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drakonis GTR Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 About the only people I have ever had bring me food were members of the local baptist church. Mostly bread, and not nearly that often. Is the guy kind of large? Maybe he's trying to get food out of his house to lose weight? Hopefully you're double checking all of this food, the world being what it is and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Shadow Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I suggest you ask him rather than us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishy Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 If they live by themselves, maybe they just figure if it's approaching seel by date, and they're not gonna eat it, why waste it? Doesn't sound sinister anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin-01 Posted December 20, 2006 Author Share Posted December 20, 2006 I'm never around when he does it, my parents are the one who gets it. And he's kinda tall and skinny. And yeah, we're making sure, though as I said, most of it is storebought and still sealed. Its weird is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Lime Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I suggest you ask him rather than us. QFE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsuta Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 If they live by themselves, maybe they just figure if it's approaching seel by date, and they're not gonna eat it, why waste it?Doesn't sound sinister anyway. Yes. Also, try to get your folks to ask him? This reminds me of a church we used to go to way far away - they had a shed(very, very cold) full of expired foods - all pastries and breads and sealed.. They were in perfect condition but the stores had to get rid of them for obvious legal purposes. So these people kept it in the fridge-shed and gave it to the local abuse shelter. There was always lots so we occasionally took some as well. Very delicious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linkspast Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 You should give him random boxes of food as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_NutS Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 one advice: it's not rape if you enjoy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The wingless Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 You should give him random boxes of food as well. BOXOFF!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombie Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Your neighbor is obviously some sort of alien, Paladin-01. He is trying to feed you up, get you all fat and meaty, and when the time is right he will kidnap you and take you to the rest of his colony to feast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Less Ashamed Of Self Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 You should give him random boxes of food as well. BOXOFF!!! Oh shit. He's TOTALLY challenging you to a box off. Make the bitch cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linkjing Donuts Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 he's slowly poisoning you I hope you know this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nec5 Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 He gets a subsidy from the government for food rations. If he gives the Federal Bureau of Edible Foods and Liquids(BaFEL) a legit address like yours, he can pocket the extra cash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Damned Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 he's slowly poisoning youI hope you know this No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies. Very clever, and fiendish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnforgivingEdges Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 he's slowly poisoning youI hope you know this No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies. Very clever, and fiendish. We've got to keep the bus over 50 mph! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quizzledorf Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 wow dude, that's screwed up lol i wish i could get free food unless of course it's really cheap and moldy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Damned Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Mold is just penicillin waiting to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzumebachi Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 I have a neighbor like that. He has a small farm, and sometimes gives us fresh vegetables, or left over meat from his latest slaughter (he has sheep and cows-- both of which are yummy). But he's weird in other ways. For example, I haven't seen him leave his yard in six months... Nice enough though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watkinzez Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Then bananas. Alright. Then more bananas. He's rich. Oh, right. America. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin-01 Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 No, he lives in a small old house, there's a trailer on the property, there are like 30 ducks, pheasants, peacocks. I'm wondering if he's insane. The food is good, I mean, the only complaints are that we couldn't eat the bananas fast enough. And they're from stores that are maybe 45 minutes and more away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friendlyHunter Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Perhaps someone is bringing him a bunch of food...? Either that, or, we could take the poison theory one step further and say he's actually building up your immunity to the poison. That, and he's secretly part of the food mafia, and soon you're gonna have to pay him back for all the food favours he's been giving. If you say "I didn't eat any of it!", he'll pull the ol' midaeval witch test: take some poison - if you're immune you were lying, if it kills you, you were telling the truth. Oh, the possibilities! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Less Ashamed Of Self Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Wait till he gets to the partridge in a pear tree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KWarp Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 I think this is a plot from Unmod to invade Gendisc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadow Wolf Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 he's slowly poisoning youI hope you know this No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies. Very clever, and fiendish. Because I'm a.) bored and b.) a total nerd, I feel compelled to point out that since he hasn't gotten sick from the food, the level of antidote must be enough to completely neutralize the poison. Therefore if he stopped eating the food, the result would be precisely dick, to quote Tommy Lee Jones. On another note, does the guy say anything when he brings the food over, or does he just smile like a possum eating shit and then leave? Because It'd be creepy if he did that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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