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Laws of anime.

Thin Crust

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This is a funny set of rules that anime seem to follow. There are some illustrated rules linked below.

#24. Law of Americanthropomorphism

#26. Law of Feline Mutation

#32. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

#34. Law of Probable Attire

#37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

#38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission

#46. Law of Flimsy Incognition

Although this list isn't complete. The complete list of 100 rules is provided here.

For those who don't feel like clicking the link, the first 16 of the 100 are quoted below.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is

thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

* Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit

the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud

sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust

equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a

mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects

known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero

whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and

lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of

two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out

affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human

existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. *NOTE: Sometimes, Anime

heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg

and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...

regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they

don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is

attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are

depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color

(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a

"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3

different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to

human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,

sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly

referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because

of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the

Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any

object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.

First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also

known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of

course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form

of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the

"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot

decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a

drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and

several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle

of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit.

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I found this when I was eleven years old.

Twenty ways to tell you've been playing too much SM64...

1: You start inventing your own moves, like the "triple butt kick."

2: You get 121 stars.

3: You get every single coin in the game.

4: You hold the momma's penguin for ramsom.

5: You flush your sister down the toilet and tell her to bring you back a mushroom.(Wait, I did that...)

6: You start fanticizing about the Princess...(let's not finish that.)

7: You put on your invisible hat and try to escape when you forget your homework.

8: You think you can jump 30 feet by by saying "yahoo."

9: You find the hidden Mario 1, 2, and 3 games.

10: You have a converstaion with a stick of dynamite.

11: At lunch, you hunt the cafeteria for ghosts to jump on.

12: During gym class, you attempt to swim into the pool's drain to find a star.

13: You realize that Tick-Tock Clock isn't working and you fix it.

14: You catch a fish in the pond.

15: You have six hats. (It can happen...)

16: You make something like this.

17: You jump into an open flame in an attempt to find a hidden floating island.

18: You sit on your carpet for six days waiting for it to take off.

19: You kill the Mad Piano.

20: You start an insane rumor that you can play as Samus Aran.

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I love these, mostly because they actually makes sense.

Bummerdude posted these a few weeks ago.

Naww that was just a normal post in the and it made me smile thread. I didn't want to make a thread about it since this is old news, although still entertaining.

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Personally I like #17...

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The

Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs

to get out more.)

Shut the f*ck up, Minmei!

And I have found #60 to ring true for me, personally...

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s

attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.

(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing

girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot

couldn’t get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.)

The harder I try, the more it seems like I get nowhere.

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Law of Infinite Humorosity

The plucky/ultra-skinny female protagonist in any remotely humorous anime will, at least once, sit down to a huge and well deserved meal and procede to stuff her face will all manner of food at an unprecedented pace, amazing/disgusting her companions in the process.

And this play on irony will; A) Be in EVERY SINGLE anime with even a hint of comedic element. B)The japanese will, apparently, ALWAYS find this joke funny no matter how many times it has been beaten to death in past decades and will be beaten to death in coming decades.

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This is a funny set of rules that anime seem to follow. There are also some illustrated rules linked here.

Although this list isn't complete. The complete list of 100 rules is provided here.

For those who don't feel like clicking the link, the first few are quoted below.

People were "old"ing this link 6 years ago, when I first found it.

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